A Bailey Legacy

Tis rather delicious

Archive for the tag “Venus”

Chapter 6.2

Chapter 6.2 – Tremayne in love

Throughout the decades Tremayne had never really had his chance to shine, mostly because he was a bit boring.Screenshot-5950However, since his upgrade, he had become more of a party animal and had no reservations when it came to shaking his booty on the dance-floor.Screenshot-5259The macarena was one of his specialties.Screenshot-5263Despite all the upgrades, his processing chip still indicated to him that there was something missing, which he discovered one evening when he was at the local library.Screenshot-5285Her name was Dawn, and she was the first simbot he had ever met since his creation.  Although she had lego-style hair, he thought she looked amazing.Screenshot-5282Tremayne had not been programmed to act flirty, so was too shy to greet her and did that awkward thing where you pretend you haven’t noticed the other person despite it’s very obvious you’ve been staring at them for the past five minutes.  Yeah, that thing.Screenshot-5283Luckily, the fem-bot, whom was called Dawn, had a significantly better communication chip than him and eagerly suggested that they shared and compared lubricants.Screenshot-5284Unfortunately, Tremayne managed to misinterpret Dawn’s blatant innuendo and took her back to his place to play beer pong, despite none of them could really consume liquids, nor get drunk.  All in all, it was a mediocre night.Screenshot-5310Unlike Tremayne, Earl was not a failure with women.  Things had heated up so much with Tiffany over the past several months that he decided it was time to pop the question.Screenshot-5994As he dropped to one knee she questioned his motives, until he produced the ring.  After that she was content and accepted his proposal. Screenshot-5998Screenshot-5993Jameson was thrilled about their engagement, so thrilled in fact that there are no pictures to convey this.  Mika was also please for them, although she was still skeptical about Tiffany and her erratic mood-swings what with her suffering from bipolar and all.Screenshot-5981‘Hurt my son and I’ll break your neck,’ Mika quite clearly explained to her daughter-in-law one evening.Screenshot-5983Shortly after that, Tiffany suggested to Earl that they should move into their own place.  And they did, only all could afford was a questionable sized one bedroom house on the dodgy side of town.Screenshot-6069‘At least it has character!’ Earl said, ever the optimist.Screenshot-6071It took a look of strength, but that night Earl did not end up being a murder victim, all thanks to the threat Mika had made to Tiffany a few screenshots ago.Screenshot-6070To conclude this chapter it is paramount to know that Pooka, the Bailey’s first pet dog, is still alive.  Very old, but still alive.  As for Venus the cat, well, she refused to move from Sunlit Tides, so she no longer resided with the family. Screenshot-5956In all honesty, she had never particularly liked them in the first place.Screenshot-4330

Chapter 5.12

Chapter 5.12 – Totally an accident

After a few more years of “hard work”, Jameson reached the top of his acrobatic career.  To celebrate he set himself on fire.Screenshot-4305And he hugged a giant ball.  Neither of these actions were part of his act, so he was swiftly escorted from the premises.Screenshot-4302Meanwhile, Cointreau and Frangelico celebrated the end of their childhood, with lots of a cake as was standard in the Bailey household.Screenshot-4336The family kept the celebrations simple by not inviting anyone else.  It was also a cunning ploy so they would have more cake to eat between them. Screenshot-4342Both girls wished to develop useful traits.Screenshot-4340Screenshot-4339Sadly, this did not happen.  Still, they grew up to be rather aesthetically pleasing, which is all that matters.Screenshot-4361Being musically inclined since the moment she had pretty much been born, Frangelico quickly took to playing her Grandfather’s (Judd’s) guitar and was actually quite good at it.Screenshot-4364Cointreau, who was yet another brain-box in the family, continued to focus on building up her logic skill.Screenshot-4369Of course, she was still very evil. Screenshot-4385She very much enjoyed trolling her family members, quite often by “accidentally” walking between them when they were having serious conversations in the bathroom.Screenshot-4402The only family member she was relatively kind to and supportive of was Frangelico, since they had shared the same womb and all.Screenshot-4397As for Earl, the middle child, he continued to study hard so he could look to go off to University when he was old enough.Screenshot-4388He also continued to work on raising his drum skills because he quickly learnt that chicks liked guys who could play instruments.Screenshot-4392Earl continued to be a bit of a dick to his older sister, Saffron.  On one particular occasion she had announced, to whoever was in earshot, how excited she was to dig into the last piece of cake in fridge, only to turn back around to find that Earl had claimed it as his.Screenshot-4379Screenshot-4380Saffron was not best pleased.Screenshot-4381Whilst Jameson and Earl dug into their slices of scrummy moist cake, Saffron was lumbered with leftover smoke salmon steak, which had started to go a little off.  Needless to say, she spent most that night glued to the toilet seat.   Screenshot-4383Saffron’s twin, Peach, had no real interest in cake but was still enthusiastic about horse riding despite constantly feeling terrified that Milo would buck her off at any moment.  It was a game he very much enjoyed playing with her.Screenshot-4390After a while, Milo grew to tolerate Peach and stopped arsing around with her as much.   Screenshot-4420Mika, who was starting to feel her age, and was partly jealous of her children’s youth and energy, started to exercise pretty much everyday as a bid to stay in shape.Screenshot-4400Jameson effortlessly managed to keep his physique in top condition with his career as an acrobat.  His confidence now at an all-time high, he decided during one fateful gig that it was time to pull off one of the most dangerous and deadly stunts of all, only known as “The Burning Inferno of Dangerous Stuff”.Screenshot-4423As he slowly made his way towards the hoop on the other side of the stage, his face was plagued with a deadly serious expression. Screenshot-4426His heart was racing as he positioned himself onto the flaming object.  However, moments later, his nerves dissipated as he started to roll around the stage, moving with the greatest of ease and with the grace of a ballet dancer.  Screenshot-4429All continued to go well, until he remembered that he had forgotten to record the latest episode of Dexter and lost control of the ring, consequently flying straight off the stage into the audience, flames spitting everywhere.  He managed to escape with a few minor burns, but unfortunately the audience weren’t so lucky, especially after the building collapsed on them.Screenshot-4428Jameson decided after that incident that it was safer to revert back to painting pretty landscapes and selling them on for extortionate amounts.  At least that way he could not be labelled as a mass-murderer.  Screenshot-4394

  

Chapter 5.10

Chapter 5.10 – Where did it all go wrong?

Before long Jameson received another promotion, which of course meant another coloured outfit and more “wacky” face paint.  Screenshot-4154To celebrate, the Baileys decided to adopt another pet.  This time they went for a cat, since cats are rather awesome.  They named the little bugger Venus, after the razor brand because of her insanely sharp claws.Screenshot-4144At first Pooka was a bit skeptical of her, until she suggested that they went hunting for birds.Screenshot-4145After that, a simple high-five sealed their friendship for eternity, or at least until one of them died.Screenshot-4146Sadly, one young individual in the family was not keen on Pooka the dog.  That young individual was obviously Cointreau.  Screenshot-4076Everyone knows dogs can smell evil from a mile off, so she was more than aware that Pooka was onto her regarding her plans for world domination.  Screenshot-4077For the time being she knew he could not prove she was up to no good, nor was she making trouble in the neighbourhood, so all she had to do was keep a watchful eye on him and avoid slipping up with her own evil schemes.Screenshot-4080Of course, Cointreau could not help but slip a few white lies to Earl, such as how Pooka had managed to destroy all the spare light bulbs in the house.  Needless to say, he struggled to believe her, considering he soon discovered that her fingerprints were all over the shards of glass.Screenshot-4152That night, to make herself feel better, Cointreau requested that Peach read her a bedtime story, something to do with a pink cat who befriended a blue dog.  The blue dog ended up getting hit by a car, and Peach could not understand how a children’s book could be so morbid.  Turned out, however, that Cointreau had written and published it.Screenshot-4139A few weeks later, it was prom time, therefore Peach and Saffron got their glad-rags out.  Screenshot-4164Unfortunately neither of them had dates, nor did they pull anyone that night, but Saffron was still chuffed that she won the title of Prom Queen.Screenshot-4162That very same night, Earl celebrated his transition into teen-hood. Screenshot-4175A few kids from school were invited along, two of which were unfortunate sufferers of alopecia… Or at least that’s what Mika and Jameson hoped.   Screenshot-4179After Earl blew out his candles, he became a not too bad looking teenager.Screenshot-4192Having developed a keen interest for music during his childhood, Earl was pleasantly surprised that his parents had got him his own drum set.  He proceeded to play “We Will Rock You” – a legal requirement for anyone who plays the drums.Screenshot-4213A few weeks later, Saffron was chucking her guts up in the toilet.Screenshot-4207Of course, Earl happened to walk straight in on her since he had not heard of knocking.Screenshot-4208‘I knew it was only a matter of time before you got pregnant,’ Earl said.Screenshot-4209‘You realise the baby’s head is going to stretch you wide open like this,’ Earl teased, gesturing with his hands to demonstrate the destruction the baby would do to her “lady parts”.

‘Shut it, douche-bag, I’m not pregnant,’ Saffron replied, unimpressed by her brother’s childish assumptions. Screenshot-4210‘I caught Dad napping on the sofa completely naked earlier,’ Saffron explained, a small shudder shooting down her spine as she relived the moment, fortunately with a pixelated blur, which helped her cope with the stress and trauma somewhat.Screenshot-4131‘As you can imagine, it made me feel rather nauseous, especially when he admitted, after he got dressed, that he’d also napped that way on my bed countless times whilst I’d been at school.’ Screenshot-4206Satisfied that his older sister was not pregnant or had some form of eating disorder, Earl shooed her out of the room so he could flush the remains of the bag of cocaine in his pocket down the toilet, whilst Saffron went on her laptop to chat to men she didn’t know on the internets who were several years older than her.Saffron and PedobearThat night, Ricky sat alone on the sofa, wondering where his legacy, and his life, had all gone wrong.  He later concluded it was pretty much since the day he had agreed to marry Alice Bailey.  In hindsight, he would have much rather eloped with one of the youthful male customer’s at the bar he had worked in back at Bridgeport.Screenshot-4140

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