A Bailey Legacy

Tis rather delicious

Archive for the tag “Robert Pattinson”

Chapter 3.2

Chapter 3.2- Mysterious Mysteries

Irish was instantly smitten by her new brother / second father, and did not think to question how he came to exist.  Since Caramel had no mother, Irish took him under her wing and often read him stories, written by Ricky Bailey, as she tucked him into bed.   Screenshot-476‘Why are all these stories about men hanging out together at cocktail bars?’ Caramel asked. Screenshot-477‘I don’t know,’ replied Irish, before she quickly got up, switched off the light switch, left the room and burnt the book in the oven.Screenshot-478Five months after Caramel joined the family, Irish and Stacey followed tradition by marrying in the back garden of the Bailey house.  Screenshot-490Screenshot-488Irish had prepared the cake herself, obviously, and made sure she was the one who got to cut it.

‘How fitting, I’m marrying a woman who likes to spend her time in the kitchen,’ Stacey chirped.

‘Darling, unless you fancy a castration I suggest you shut the fuck up,’ Irish said, loud enough so only Stacey could hear, but still smiling so their guests thought they were exchanging harmless lovey-dovey banter.  Screenshot-496Stacey soon shut up after that, and Irish, being hardcore, did not even need a knife to cut the wedding cake.Screenshot-497 ‘Impressive,’ thought Stacey.Screenshot-499Minty turned up to the wedding with her twin girls a bit later, since she and Federico had been busy consoling each other regarding the fact that Robert Pattinson had split up with Kristin Stewart in real life.Screenshot-501‘No worries, they’ll probably get back together for the premier of the last Twilight film,’ Irish reassured.Screenshot-500Several months later, Irish found out she was pregnant.Screenshot-503Turned out that Crissy was too, because she had not been taught anything about safe sex.Screenshot-502Crissy decided to propose to her blonde haired man, since she was certain he was the father.  The fact that he owned a flame patterned towel also sealed the deal.Screenshot-512‘Yey, now your organs will be mine, forever and ever,’ Crissy whispered as they hugged.Screenshot-515‘Did you just say something about my organs?’ Her boyfriend, perhaps called Jeff, asked.

‘No, don’t be silly!’ Crissy giggled.Screenshot-507A few weeks later, Jeff mysteriously disappeared, and Irish received a mysterious delivery of mystery meat, which she used to make some delicious hot-dogs, mmm. Screenshot-417

Chapter 2.7

Chapter 2.7 – To be honest, Jacob is better

Minty celebrated her transition into adulthood without fear that Irish would burn the venue down, or her waistcoat.   Screenshot-362It was after Minty had aged that Pippy realised that her and Fudge would need at least one of their daughters to carry on the Bailey Legacy.  Picking which one was not an easy feat.  Sure, Minty was a talented musician, and not an endangerment to their lives when it came to fires… Wait, scrap that, the choice was rather obvious in fact.  Screenshot-372In the end, Fudge and Pippy insisted that the two girls had a sing-off to decide who the next Generation heiress should be.  To most people’s surprise, Irish won.  It turned out that although Minty was great with instruments, her voice sounded somewhat like a cat with a severe throat infection.Screenshot-369Irish was so excited about her victory that she decided to meet her best friend, Stacey, at the local coffee house, to tell him the news.  Screenshot-377As she made her way over to the outdoor tables, she was instantly drawn to a well dressed man who was reading a Twilight book, maybe the first or second book in the series, Irish could not quite tell.  Screenshot-373Irish coughed loudly as an attempt to gain his attention, however, he was too engrossed with Bella’s love life to hear her.Screenshot-374Shrugging her shoulders, Irish took a seat opposite the man, placing her English homework down onto the table just to show him that she was all into literature and stuff.  Screenshot-375‘Excuse me!’ The man exclaimed.  He stood up quickly and rested an arm on his hip and pouted.  Irish could not help but think he looked a little bit like Edward Cullen.  Only a little bit.  Screenshot-376Just as Irish was about to ask the man if he fancied grabbing a coffee with her sometime, Stacey decided to pick the worst time to make his entrance. Screenshot-378‘Hey, Irish, how are you… Whoah, is that Robert Pattinson?’ Stacey cupped his hands over his face, like an excited school girl.

‘My name is Federico!’ The man revealed, throwing his arms out in frustration.  ‘And yes, I like Twilight… In fact, I love it!  Surely you do too, being a teenage girl?’

‘Er, no, not really.  I’m more of a cook book kind of girl.’

‘See, this is my problem!’ Federico sobbed.  ‘No girls like a man who’s a Twihard!’

As Stacey shifted awkwardly on his feet, an idea suddenly came to Irish.

‘My sister, she always plays that song Edward plays on the piano in the Twilight films,’ Irish revealed.  ‘She said she would be lucky to find a man who could put up with her playing  it.   I’ll set you two up!’Screenshot-379And so, Irish introduced Federico to Minty.  Screenshot-383It did not take too long for them to get familiar with one another, and to discuss their favourite Twilight moments.     Screenshot-386Pleased that her sister had found someone to spend the rest of her life with, Irish decided to bag herself a man too.  Screenshot-387So, that very evening, Irish ended up making out with Stacey at their prom night, despite he had clearly not made any effort with his attire.  I mean, three-quarter length combat trousers… come on!Screenshot-388

Post Navigation