Chapter 3.2- Mysterious Mysteries
Irish was instantly smitten by her new brother / second father, and did not think to question how he came to exist. Since Caramel had no mother, Irish took him under her wing and often read him stories, written by Ricky Bailey, as she tucked him into bed. ‘Why are all these stories about men hanging out together at cocktail bars?’ Caramel asked. ‘I don’t know,’ replied Irish, before she quickly got up, switched off the light switch, left the room and burnt the book in the oven.Five months after Caramel joined the family, Irish and Stacey followed tradition by marrying in the back garden of the Bailey house. Irish had prepared the cake herself, obviously, and made sure she was the one who got to cut it.
‘How fitting, I’m marrying a woman who likes to spend her time in the kitchen,’ Stacey chirped.
‘Darling, unless you fancy a castration I suggest you shut the fuck up,’ Irish said, loud enough so only Stacey could hear, but still smiling so their guests thought they were exchanging harmless lovey-dovey banter. Stacey soon shut up after that, and Irish, being hardcore, did not even need a knife to cut the wedding cake. ‘Impressive,’ thought Stacey.Minty turned up to the wedding with her twin girls a bit later, since she and Federico had been busy consoling each other regarding the fact that Robert Pattinson had split up with Kristin Stewart in real life.‘No worries, they’ll probably get back together for the premier of the last Twilight film,’ Irish reassured.Several months later, Irish found out she was pregnant.Turned out that Crissy was too, because she had not been taught anything about safe sex.Crissy decided to propose to her blonde haired man, since she was certain he was the father. The fact that he owned a flame patterned towel also sealed the deal.‘Yey, now your organs will be mine, forever and ever,’ Crissy whispered as they hugged.‘Did you just say something about my organs?’ Her boyfriend, perhaps called Jeff, asked.