A Bailey Legacy

Tis rather delicious

Archive for the tag “Pistachio”

Chapter 9.3

Chapter 9.3 It’s a bit Chilli

Sometime in December, Tia and Basil became parents to a typically tanned Bailey baby.Screenshot-13514The story behind his birth was one rather amusing tale.  Tia had been repairing the bathtub, which Tremayne had broken in a fit of rage after one of his favourite X-Factor contestants had been voted off during the semi-final.Screenshot-13477Ten minutes into tightening up the taps, Tia felt a sharp twinge in her stomach, which caused her to spring to her feet.Screenshot-13488At first she thought she had picked up food poisoning from the leftover pancakes she had licked off a plate that morning, but after a few more minutes, it became apparent this was a very different sort of pain and she started to cry for help.Screenshot-13483Fortunately, Basil heard the commotion from downstairs and rushed up to see what the problem was.

‘Oh my Rod!’ He exclaimed.Screenshot-13493‘Look at all this mess!  I knew we should have got an actual mechanic to come in and…’Screenshot-13491‘Say another word and you die.’Screenshot-13489Chilli was born a delightful twenty-six hours later.  They actually did not intend to name him that. Tia had planned to call him Ash, but unfortunately Basil thought the nurse was asking him what the weather was like outside when she was filling out the birth certificate.Screenshot-13512Still, Chilli was a delightful baby, and Basil was a very smitten father.Screenshot-13574Screenshot-13576Unfortunately, Maple, who had started to develop arthritis and goodness knows what else, was not very good when it came to holding Chilli.Screenshot-13593No matter what she did, she could not quite grasp the concept of holding him correctly. Screenshot-13592‘Oh bother!’ She would sigh whenever she dropped him.  With her still about, it was a miracle he lived beyond the age of two.Screenshot-13594Since it was Christmas time and all, the Baileys decided to throw a party.  Almond and Pistachio even turned up with food, which meant no would have to bother cooking for the next several days.Screenshot-13549It also turned out that Rolo and Niki were expecting their own bundle of joy.  For some reason they had not bothered telling the rest of the family, despite they only lived next door, which also showed how often they saw them.   Screenshot-13554Speaking of rarely seeing people (or robots), Tremayne’s love interest for the past few hundred decades, Dawn, also made an appearance to this party.Screenshot-13558He was desperate to talk to her.Screenshot-13556Sadly, even with Orion’s support, he lacked the confidence to approach her, especially when he heard she was dating yet another elderly rich man, thus he remained sad and lonely for the foreseeable future.  Screenshot-13557In time, Chilli grew up to be a cute toddler, a luxury that still currently went unknown in the Sims 4.Screenshot-13682Tia was a fantastic mother, and even had the genius idea of potty training Chilli outdoors, where the smell would not cause anyone to throw up slightly in their mouths.Screenshot-13685Screenshot-13687Basil also doted on his baby boy, who was practically his clone.Screenshot-13631‘Goodnight Son.  Daddy’s got to go out to work and con people.’Screenshot-13632He still also found the time to dote on Bongo, who had grown up from this…Screenshot-13211…into an awesome big dog.    Screenshot-13675‘If you break into our house, I will eat you.’ Bongo warned.Screenshot-13677

   

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Chapter 8.8

Chapter 8.8 Nice day for a white wedding

Maple and Cory decided to throw a winter wedding in their backyard, just to be different.  Being insanely rich, they were able to afford ice sculpted chairs and a cute DJ called Tom.Screenshot-11572To Maple’s annoyance, the paparazzi also made an appearance since she was a Z list celebrity in the media world.  Fortunately, she had a way to deal with such inconveniences.

‘Hmm, that’s funny,’ Maple spoke out loud, ‘I don’t remembering hiring a chubby and persistently annoying photographer for the wedding.’Screenshot-11564‘Bitch’Screenshot-11560Soon, the official photographer turned up, just in the nick of time for the happy couple to exchange vows and what not.Screenshot-11598As it turned out, Maple was not very photogenic.Screenshot-11595Yet Cory was.Screenshot-11599For this reason, Maple favoured the long distant shots, and the ones where she was not gawping like a demented pitbull.Screenshot-11600During the ceremony, Pistachio was, perhaps, a little bit too emotional.Screenshot-11593No one, apart from his wife (Nicole), found it endearing.Screenshot-11615‘Now we’re married, I guess this means you’re gonna start nagging me more often now,’ Cory joked.

Maple stared him down into a deathly silence.Screenshot-11580He then quickly kissed her before she could ask for a divorce.Screenshot-11606Screenshot-11614‘Cake time!’ Maple enthused, and quite rightly so.Screenshot-11621-editScreenshot-11622-editMaple was quite happily about to dig into her scrumptious slice of wedding cake, until Devon Hoff made his way over to her table, balancing his own equally slice of awesomeness on his old arthritic hand.Screenshot-11629-editMaple did her best to ignore him as he stood there, but he soon enough spoke up.Screenshot-11628-edit‘Room for one more?’ He asked, eyes hopeful.Screenshot-11626-editScreenshot-11627-edit‘Give it time, she’ll come running back to me,’ Devon confidently said, five minutes later, sat at a completely different table.Screenshot-11631-edit‘Sorry, old man,’ Almond asked, her mouth filled with delicious moist cake, ‘did you say something?’Screenshot-11630-editMeanwhile, since the DJ had decided to up and leave before the party was even over, the ever musically talented Rolo had taken over.Screenshot-11633-edit‘I’m making musics!’Screenshot-11635-editNow, it was a common misconception that aliens unitentionally invented dub-step when they first attempted to make contact with humans.  Naturally this was not the case, and as soon discovered, this type of “music” played at exceedingly high volumes was very damaging to an alien’s eardrums, and thus resulted in Orion passing out and almost freezing to death in the snow.Screenshot-11642-editFortunately, Tremayne had come outside to show off his new lover: the hairdryer.Screenshot-11643-edit‘Suppose I’d better do the just thing…’ Tremayne sighed, and proceeded to thaw Orion with Brenda the hairdryer.Screenshot-11644-editMinutes later, Orion had been defrosted.  Tremayne cheered for joy, well, until Orion snatched the hairdryer out from his hand, tossed it into the pool and swore at Tremayne for burning his perfect alien complexion, before marching off.Screenshot-11647-edit‘Why do I even bother?’ Tremayne sighed, then decided to head on inside for a piping hot shower.Screenshot-11648-editThat night, several guests decided to stay over, and by stay over, I mean they basically decided to stand on the front porch and wet themselves because they had temporarily lost the ability to navigate themselves down a straight path and leave the property through an open gate. Pistachio was one of these people, which was why he was a bit stinky the following morning.

After breakfast, he approached Rolo, who was about to practice his mad skills on the DJ booth.Screenshot-11650‘Soon the time will come for Maple to pass the legacy down to someone, and personally, I think you’re best suited,’ Pistachio confessed.  In all honesty, he did not entirely feel this way and just fancied witnessing a bit of drama between his nephews.

‘Couldn’t agree with you anymore, Unc,’ Rolo replied, finally glad that someone had recognised his great potential.  ‘Basil may be a smart guy, but he does have a tendency to steal things at times; not particularly a positive role model for the next generation, right?’Screenshot-11649They continued to bitch about Basil until Rolo eventually noticed that his younger brother had in fact been standing right by them for the entirety of their private conversation, which made things a little bit awkward.Screenshot-11651Naturally, this gave Basil the incentive to prove he could be a just a worthy heir as Rolo could be.  He already had some pretty good traits, minus his kleptomania, so all he needed was a baby vessel, and he had just the girl in mind.  Tia Aquino was a generic pretty young lady who was in a few of his classes at school.Screenshot-11652‘Wanna go out with me so I have a shot at owning all the fancy stuff in this house?’Screenshot-11674Tia accepted his proposition, partly out of pity, but mainly out of greed.Screenshot-11675‘This legacy is giving me a headache,’ rudley interrupted Devon.  In truth, he was feeling bitter that Maple had selected Cory over him and the realisation that he would never become a valued part of the Bailey legacy had become too much to bear.Screenshot-11668Thankfully for him, this generation was now finished, which meant it was unlikely he would ever be mentioned again, unless Basil is selected as the final heir, but that is totally up to the public!  This time the heir voting poll will be posted up once the university chapters have been posted up.
I’m on holiday between 5th October – 16th October, so the university chapters shall commence on my return 🙂  Much love.

Chapter 8.2

Chapter 8.2 Be careful what you wish for

Eventually, Pistachio decided to propose to Nicole.Screenshot-10664She rejected his offering.Screenshot-10665Pistachio struggled to hold back his despair, that was until Nicole stated what he had done wrong.Screenshot-10666‘I’m the man of this relationship; I’ll propose and you can wear the ring!’ Nicole firmly stated.Screenshot-10667And so, Pistachio gushed like a girl when Nicole dropped on one knee and presented the very same ring he had offered her.  It did not fit very well on his finger, and he was rushed to hospital to have it removed several hours later, but it was worth it.Screenshot-10674Sometime later, they moved out into a house nearby where they would carry on with their lives and occasionally be invited to Maple’s future parties.Screenshot-10686‘Sounds like good to me!’ Pistachio said, ignoring the fact Nicole was trying to strangle herself in the background of their idyllic life.  Screenshot-10688Back at the Bailey household, Cory was beginning to regret moving in with Maple, even if the rent was cheap.Screenshot-10652Despite they were not dating, it was only a matter of time before alcohol and desire got the better of them.Screenshot-10746‘You’re on the pill, right?’ Cory asked, realising where all this was heading.
‘Of course,’ Maple lied.Screenshot-10748A few weeks later, Maple discovered she was pregnant.Screenshot-10763She decided to announce this to both Twix and Cory over dinner.Screenshot-10691For some reason, Twix was furious at Cory, despite Maple was the manipulative one.  Even when she confessed this, Twix still blamed Cory.Screenshot-10693By this point, Chewie the dog had experienced enough drama and decided it was time to die.Screenshot-10722‘Come here you!’Screenshot-10727‘See ya!’ The Grim Reaper shouted as he tossed Chewie up into the portal.Screenshot-10737Screenshot-10738‘Now, to take care of other matters.’Screenshot-10739Screenshot-10741The Grim Reaper had been watching Tremayne for quite some time and was envious at the fact this robot seemed to have an eternal life span.  Even Grim Reapers eventually died, in fact, this particular Grim Reaper was the third incarnation since the Bailey Legacy had begun.  He wanted to defy the laws of nature, and made it his mission to do so by the time the Baileys reached their tenth generation.Screenshot-10744‘One day, I will claim you.’ Screenshot-10743Some while later, Maple’s pregnancy begun to show.Screenshot-10788Cory found any excuse to stay away from her and her pregnant hormones.
One night, out in the front garden, he gazed up at a suspicious aura of lights in the sky and quietly wished he could be struck by lightening, or even better, be abducted by aliens.Screenshot-10777 Screenshot-10778‘N-no, no!’ Screenshot-10779‘I was jooooookiiiiing!’Screenshot-10780Little did he know the consequences that would follow.Screenshot-10781

Chapter 8.1

Chapter 8.1 – Bored yet?

‘It feels like we’ve been waiting here for around a month,’ Tremayne said, his cold robotic eyes staring blankly ahead. ‘Still, I can’t believe we’ve reached the 8th generation.  I thought things would have started to get tedious by this point, or that I would have tried to drown myself in the ocean again.’Screenshot-10580‘Err, don’t forget that Maple’s fronting this generation,’ Alice replied, her ghost face heavily weighing the regret of ever having a child with Ricky Bailey, no matter how damn sexy he had become.Screenshot-10581‘Alright, time to give my garage rapping skills a go!  So Solid Crew, don’t fail me now!’Screenshot-10568‘Twenty-one seconds, tut, tut, tut!’  Screenshot-10569‘If anyone needs me, I’ll be at the beach.’Screenshot-10582Things weren’t all bad.  Honest.  Somehow, Twix and Whitney had a high relationship level and spent most their elder days flirting with one another; a disturbing sight, some might say, but otherwise cute.Screenshot-10577‘Darling, your hand feels like sandpaper against my face.’ Screenshot-10578Pistachio, the youngest of their children, had joined the military career soon after graduating from University.  Unfortunately, he had to start from level one as he found out the hard way that a degree in Physical Education is only beneficial for the Athletic career path.  This would be the last time he took advice from the ghost of Jameson Bailey.Screenshot-10576Almond, the eldest, was already level five or so in her business career.  At this point, her long term boyfriend, Gary, had been living at the Bailey household for a few years.  She suggested that it was time they moved out and started a life on their own.Screenshot-10556‘But we get free everything here!’ Gary whined.            Screenshot-10558Almond kissed him to shut him up.Screenshot-10557And also secretly bought a new house for them to live in.    Screenshot-10624‘Alight!  Now Nicole can move in and sponge of the family funds!’Screenshot-10560And so she did, and Maple did not approve at all.  She often complained about this to Nicole when Pistachio was not around.Screenshot-10570‘Those hot-dogs aren’t cheap either!’Screenshot-10571‘I can’t wait to boot you out, along with my annoying little bro… Oh hey, Pistachio!’Screenshot-10572‘Gee, is that the time?’   Maple said, looking at her watch-less wrist.  ‘I’d best be off to watch that So Solid Crew documentary!’Screenshot-10573Meanwhile, Gnome Bunny wondered if anything interesting was actually going to happen this chapter.Screenshot-10584Yes, was the answer.  Cory had recently moved into the neighbourhood, something to do with his career.  He decided to visit Maple one day, just to mess with her emotions.Screenshot-10585Screenshot-10587‘Play it cool, Mape.’   Screenshot-10588‘….’Screenshot-10590‘So, are you here so we can have children and get married?’Screenshot-10594‘Sure….’ Cory winced as he felt Maple breathe heavily against his neck.Screenshot-10595‘Well, this generation is going to interesting,’ Chewie, the last remaining dog in the Bailey household, said.Screenshot-10575And perhaps he was right.

 

 

Pistachio’s Nuts (Part 2)

Pistachio’s Nuts (Part 2)

The plan to win back Nicole’s affections was flawless. First of all, I cut down on being a dick.  Second, she loved dancing; I’d seen her go crazy on several nights out – mostly grinding against other guys to try and make me jealous.  Problem was, although I was physically fit, I had two left feet when it came to dancing and always resorted to that awkward swaying thing people do, instead of risking breaking a limb. Therefore, using a thing called the internet, I started my hunt for the best dancer on campus. Screenshot-10426Unfortunately, I had grown addicted to this game called The Peeps, where you create your own little virtual people and stick them in house, then either drown, starve or set them on fire, so I soon forgot about my quest.Screenshot-10425Luck would have it, however, one of my roommates was a decent dancer, and she was willing to teach me.       Screenshot-10421And I thought I was doing pretty good, considering my foot condition.Screenshot-10420‘You’ve got a long way to go,’ she sighed, ‘maybe we should learn something simpler.’Screenshot-10424Many dance lessons later, I gatecrashed one of Nicole’s pool parties.  She was not best pleased, but I managed to convince her that I could convince her that I was a better man.Screenshot-10432I figured things could go no worse than when we had crossed paths a month or so after the whole hot-tub incident. ‘How about I take you inside and warm you up?’ I had purred into her ear.Screenshot-10413‘I’d rather choke to death on toilet paper,’  came her response.Screenshot-10414That was a dark day indeed.Screenshot-10415This time, I was confident my plan would work. ‘What are you doing?’ Nicole asked as I reached out and placed her hands in mine.Screenshot-10433‘I’ll be your domestic King,’ I proposed, ‘I’ve even learnt how to clean and everything.’Screenshot-10434‘Also, I didn’t intend for that to rhyme…’Screenshot-10427‘Err, ok, but you’re still a douche-bag,’  Nicole ever-so-bluntly stated.Screenshot-10436‘I beg to differ,’ I replied.  ‘I’ve actually also took the time to learn how to make the best waffles in the world.’Screenshot-10440‘Seriously, they’re rather delicious!’Screenshot-10465Placing my arms on her waist, I told her to follow my lead as we started dancing a crazy combination of the waltz and a drunken walrus.  Soon enough, we got the hang of it and it was rather pleasant being that close to her.Screenshot-10445‘You’re definitely the strangest guy I’ve ever met,’ Nicole sighed, drawing her lips close to mine.  Then we kissed, and quite honestly my brain shutdown after that.Screenshot-10446‘If you hurt me, I’ll make sure you suffer.’  Those were the sweet words that sealed the deal.  Ok, then my brain shutdown.Screenshot-10437Despite this, somehow, I ended up with first in my degree.Screenshot-10510 Screenshot-10511I was pretty chuffed to say the least.Screenshot-10516Nicole did well too, achieving a 2:1.  I teased her that she missed out on a first because of all the rubbish parties she threw.Screenshot-10522She withdrew sex for almost two weeks.  It was a very dark time.Screenshot-10524Before we left University forever, there was one more thing we had to do.Screenshot-10492‘I’m pretty sure we could get arrested for trespassing,’ I stated, staring down at the hot tub that had tried to bring us together in the past, but had failed miserably.Screenshot-10489‘They’ll have to catch us first,’ Nicole mentioned.Screenshot-10490‘That’s my girl!’Screenshot-10493Sinking into the warmth of the hot tub, completely naked, I sighed out in bliss.  To think this whole thing has been Nicole’s idea. Screenshot-10496‘Get over here, you!’Screenshot-10499Screenshot-10503‘You know, I really love you, army boy,’ Nicole cooed.  Usually such mushiness would have made me vomit, but since we were in a hot tub, that wouldn’t have been a good shout.Screenshot-10506Locking lips, I decided I could get used to spending the foreseeable future with this lovely lady; even if her parties were a little bit naff.Screenshot-10505

Pistachio’s Nuts (Part 1)

Pistachio’s Nuts (Part 1)

‘Go long!’ I shouted across the courtyard.Screenshot-10184Of course, Maple, my not so athletically gifted sister, barely had time to react before the ball whacked against her thigh.

‘Oomph!  Goddammit, not so hard!’Screenshot-10182‘Ha, that’s what she said!’Screenshot-10185University was one of those things I was roped into since a Physical Education degree was necessary in order to apply to the military career these days.  Shame it was ridiculously easy.Screenshot-10212‘Conclusion; he should have eaten more food.’Screenshot-10213The first party I was ever invited to at University was rubbish, and I was more than happy to express my view about this.Screenshot-10356‘Hate to say it Nicole, you really suck at hosting parties.’Screenshot-10224I must have struck a nerve because Nicole started getting all sassy with me.

‘Ok, boy, why don’t you host your own party and show me how it’s done?’ Screenshot-10227‘Hmm, that gives me a great idea.’Screenshot-10232‘Nicole, I am going to host my own party and show you how it’s done!’Screenshot-10226And so I started work on preparing my awesome party.  The first step was to the fix the juice keg, and modify slightly so more liquid would spurt out from the nozzle (whey oh!).  Then I compiled one of the best playlists of all times, so incredible that to this day I refuse to share it with anyone else.Screenshot-10280On the eve of the party, screeching like a nine year old girl at a One Direction concert, I shimmied over to the juice keg, where a couple of cute ladies were hanging out.Screenshot-10218It seemed they couldn’t keep their hands off my nozzle (whey oh!).  Screenshot-10220As I was about to suggest we got some body-shots going, I noticed that outside Nicole was sitting in the hot tub, fully clothed for some reason (at least from the waist up), all alone.  Handing my half-empty cup to the nearest person,  I tugged off my shirt and jeans, I rushed across the freezing cold grass and joined her in the bubbly warmth of the tub.

‘Hey, army boy,’ she teased, probably a reference to the camouflage patterned underwear I was wearing.Screenshot-10256‘You can take off your top, you know, and any other clothing really…’ I hinted.Screenshot-10248I half-expected her to get all sassy at me again, but instead her cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

‘It’s my first time in a hot tub and, as stupid as it sounds, since it’s snowing, I was worried about getting cold.’  I couldn’t bring myself to laugh at her stupidity, considering I was probably just as drunk as she was.Screenshot-10249‘So,’ I said, placing my arms behind my head, ‘since I won our bet with my party being so much more awesome, I guess that means you have to sleep with me now?’Screenshot-10261Preparing to scoot over to her, I was surprised when Nicole recoiled in disgust.

‘Firstly, what bet?  Secondly, what the hell is wrong with you, weirdo?’Screenshot-10257Naturally, those words stung, but no more than watching her clamber out the hot tub, flaunting her perfect bum in my direction as she announced she was going home.Screenshot-10259‘And so I can only conclude that she’s a lesbian,’ I explained to Maple once we were back at home to celebrate some kind of special occasion or event.  As always, she remained silent as she shook her head disapprovingly.Screenshot-10344Back at Uni, it took a few more weeks of partying and working out like a beast to realise that I was a bit of a douche-bag.  That side of me had to change pronto if I wanted to live beyond the age of twenty-five.Screenshot-10365

Voting Time – Generation 8

Voting Time – Generation 8

Go ahead, you know the deal by now!  Choose wisely as you will have to deal with looking at their faces for the next couple of months 🙂  The poll will remain up until Saturday 5th April 2014 – happy voting!

Maple Bailey Voting Pic

Maple

1) I am known to be a bit promiscuous, which will make the next generation rather interesting 😉

2) I met the Milky Bar Kid once.

3) Let’s keep this blonde streak going!

Almond Bailey Voting Pic

Almond

1) I have strong traits and the determination to continue carrying this legacy down the route of success.

2) Let’s be honest, my face is a very fortunate mix of my parents genetics, compared to my siblings.

3) We haven’t had a heiress in quite a while now, have we?  (Pick me over Maple though, thanks).

Pistachio Bailey Voting Pic

Pistachio

1)  I wish to work alongside Tremayne just to see what he actually does at his “one day a week” job.

2) I will grow into my prominent cheekbones and look sexy (hopefully).

3) I have very manly muscles.

Chapter 7.10

Chapter 7.10 If you don’t succeed, maybe you should give up

The years flew on by, at least quick enough for Pistachio to become a teenager.Screenshot-9552He possessed a determined nature, which meant he constantly spent his hours trying to master a single chin-up.    Screenshot-9549‘Ngh!’ Screenshot-9553‘Almost there!’Screenshot-9554The main thing was that he was a trier, and that was all his parents could ask for, particularly since he hoped to join the military one day.Screenshot-9552Almond also possessed a similar nature since she was interested in joining the business career once she was an adult.Screenshot-9558She had the hots for a guy in her class called Matt.  Rumour had it, his eyebrows had their own personalities.Screenshot-9557Unfortunately, none of them were interested in Almond.Screenshot-9560Since it was the final main chapter in this generation, Ewok decided it was a good enough time to kick the bucket.Screenshot-9637She was excited to see Snowy again, and also gain the ability to fly.Screenshot-9641The Grim Reaper happily accepted her request and gave her Peter Pan-like powers.Screenshot-9642It was all well and good, until she noticed that there was a ceiling above her, and that Grimmy had “forgotten” to open up the portal to the other realm.

‘Craaaap!’Screenshot-9643A few days later, and a lot of scrubbing blood off the ceiling, the realisation of getting old hit Twix hard.Screenshot-9572‘I’m getting old.’  Screenshot-9573Sadly, as it was his birthday, there was not much that could be done.Screenshot-9596Reluctantly, he blew out his candles and prayed he still had a few more years left in him.Screenshot-9597Whitney, who loved birthday cake perhaps a little bit too much, cleaned up the table in her own special fashion the following morning.Screenshot-9562Naturally, Ricky Bailey did not approve.Screenshot-9569As for Maple, she did not care as she saw the real life Milky Bar Kid at school the very same day and decided after this that she had to pursue a career in the film industry.Screenshot-9670Twix did not give too much of a damn either as he managed to reach his life-time wish and cooked up an awesome curry to celebrate.  All in all, it was a pleasant generation.Screenshot-9663Right, same as last time, the voting poll will be posted up before the usual University bonus chapters.  This worked well with the previous generation so thought it’d be a good idea to keep it this way 🙂  There’s also a 7 or so day age gap between Maple and Pistachio, so it makes sense really.   Also, like last time, the voting poll will remain up for a week or two, during this time Maple’s and possibly Almond’s University chapters will be posted up.  After that, once the winner is announced, Pistachio’s bonus chapters will be uploaded, then we will proceed with Generation 8!

The poll will emerge soon.  Please keep your eyes peeled 😉 x x x

             

Chapter 7.9

Chapter 7.9 Ghost party

Like the song, Snowy had always believed he could fly, and one day this wish was granted.Screenshot-8978Unfortunately, this was only because he had died.Screenshot-8977Ewok was not a happy dog, she had hoped to at least have another litter with his mismatched companion before he glided off to the doggy pound in the sky. Screenshot-8974Pistachio dealt with the grief of Snowy’s death by exercising harder than ever in a bid that a healthy lifestyle would help him live forever, much like his Great-Uncle Earl (almost) had.Screenshot-9434Almond coped with things by eating pizza since it is a well known fact that pizza cures a majority of problems.Screenshot-9479‘Hey, Dad, can I invite some people over tonight for a sleepover?  It’ll really help take my mind of, you know, Snowy’s death.’

Twix laughed and told her that he would prefer to not spend another night trapped in the dining room.Screenshot-9481‘That’s ok, I can always go out tonight and you know, get drunk and have unprotected sex.’Screenshot-9482Screenshot-9484‘Actually, yes, a sleepover sounds like a great idea.’Screenshot-9485And so, Almond got on Facebook and invited the coolest people she knew over for a sleepover.Screenshot-9433Isaiah somehow ended up at the party, despite he was far from being part of the cool crowd.  As it turned out, he was only invited because rumour had it he had a big  was a great mixologist.Screenshot-9457Even Maple’s thought bubbles reflected  the true extent of his talent.Screenshot-9456This time, everyone was smart enough not to crash out in the kitchen and trap Twix in the dining room / block access to all the necessary cooking utilities.Screenshot-9472Well, except for one teenager, who was quickly made an example of. Screenshot-9464Never did he walk again…Screenshot-9461It has been noticed that there has been a severe lack of ghosts during this generation, therefore, we shall end this chapter on this picture of a ghost party occurring in the backyard to make up for things.Screenshot-9415

Chapter 7.8

Chapter 7.8 Backup children

Maple soon became obsessed with boys.Screenshot-9321‘Dad, can you get pregnant without having sex?  I may have an issue otherwise…’Screenshot-9440The stupidity of his eldest daughter frustrated him more than it worried him.Screenshot-9446Twix soon swiftly remembered that he had other children with potential, thus decided his time was best spent developing them into well-rounded individuals.Screenshot-9284His main focus was Pistachio, who had a clear interest in fitness and Pokemon.  The young boy was hoping to pursue some form of physical career, such as the military or as an athlete.Screenshot-9297Whitney did her best to ensure that Pistachio would achieve his lifetime goal.Screenshot-9329‘You may need to consider cutting down on eating cake.’  Whitney tried to break the news to him as gently as she could.Screenshot-9330‘Hell no!’ Pistachio said.Screenshot-9332However, he had no choice in the matter.

‘I sure can’t wait to dig into these delicious pancakes, mmm!’ Almond teased whilst her younger brother wrote an essay based on nutrition and fitness.Screenshot-9344‘God dammit I hate you,’ Pistachio muttered.  Screenshot-9342Soon enough, it was Almond’s birthday and the focus of the chapter shifted to her.Screenshot-9362She grew up to be rather hot, in comparison to Maple anyway.Screenshot-9386In all honesty, it was not a difficult feat.Screenshot-9315The girls were excited when Prom time rolled around, despite neither of them had dates.  Almond chose not to, whilst Maple had scared away pretty much every guy she knew.Screenshot-9402Somehow, Maple managed to look somewhat decent.  Make-up was wondrous thing it seemed.Screenshot-9401Almond opted for Taylor Swift style hair and a cute red dress.Screenshot-9396‘I can’t wait to  dress up all pretty like you for my prom,’ Pistachio stated.Screenshot-9398Screenshot-9399It was at this point that the girls realised that their younger brother may end up becoming a bit of a cross dresser in the years to come.  They decided to keep this between themselves for the time being, and also made sure to put locks on their wardrobes, just in-case.Screenshot-9403

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