A Bailey Legacy

Tis rather delicious

Archive for the tag “Peach”

Chapter 6.1

Chapter 6.1 – Error Code 12…

Immediately after Saffron and Peach graduated from University, the Bailey family packed up and moved to a lovely town called Setra (basically a lovechild of Bridgeport and Al Simhara). The reason why they chose to leave Sunlit Tides was never really established, but it may have been linked to Jameson accidentally setting fire to half the island during a one-off acrobatic show at the park.Screenshot-5207Anyways, it certainly had nothing to do with the Error Code 12 saving error.error12
Their new house was very fancy and even had a fence and gate to keep any unwanted visitors at bay.Screenshot-5204Here is a sample of what Jameson and Mika did for pretty much the entire duration their children were at University.Screenshot-5232As for Tremayne, who had been the family’s faithful robot since sometime in Generation 2, he decided to embrace his new start by upgrading his OS to version 7.  This came complete with a new skin and the function to upload his pictures straight to Facebook.  Unfortunately, the new interface took some getting used to.Screenshot-5203Peach and Milo left the house as soon as they could.Screenshot-5227They went to move in with Danny Harris, Peach’s sweetheart from University, who she had recently found out possessed the commitment issues trait.  Not like it deterred her.  He had a nice face and thus would help her produce pretty babies some day.Screenshot-5919Saffron remained in the Bailey household whilst she advanced in the medical field.  She was too occupied with rising up the ranks to find a suitable man.  That and her squeeze from University, Garry Cinder, who also happened to live in Setra, had ended up marrying some other chick, so naturally Saffron was bitter and jealous about this.Screenshot-5226Therefore, it was only natural she took this frustration out on her patients.Screenshot-5233Earl also hung around the house for a free meal ticket and naturally joined the music career.Screenshot-5915He also became good at cooking in preparation for eventually moving out to live with Tiffany Angles, his lady friend from University.Screenshot-5941Frangelico, or Franny Pie (as she went by for her stage name), was clearly still doing her singing stuff, something to keep her occupied before she would start popping out kids.Screenshot-5942She even went on to develop the “whistle-gram”.Screenshot-5943This was met with a lukewarm reception.Screenshot-5945Finally, as expected, Cointreau joined the criminal career, although she appeared to dress more like she had joined the prostitution career.  This, however, only turned out to be a clever decoy to stop her family suspecting she was mingling with an evil crowd.Screenshot-5952Cointreau had actually never anticipated she would be chosen to take over the household, so it came as a bit of a surprise to her.Screenshot-5967Funnily enough, it was Ricky who nominated Cointreau to be the baby producer for this generation.  He enjoyed the fact that she was as much of a troll as he was so had convinced Jameson that she was ideal for the role.  That and he created scandals about Cointreau’s siblings so they would be considered unworthy compared to Cointreau.Screenshot-5247Ricky had faith that this generation would not fail to amuse him.Screenshot-5246

Voting Time – Generation 6

Voting Time – Generation 6

It’s that time again!  Like last time, please see below for the candidates and their reasons for fronting the 6th generation.  The poll (located at the bottom of the page) will close on 16th September 2013.  Happy voting 🙂

Peach Bailey - Voting Pic

Peach

1) Horses!

2) I happen to be master at pulling the best facial expressions.  Hours of entertainment ensured for all.  I’m also named after a fruit.

3) Did I mention, horses?

Saffron Bailey - Voting Pic

Saffron

1) First career driven lady since Irish Bailey (Pippy Bailey does not count… “acting” is not a career).

2) Check out my eyes; purely from generation 1.  Don’t want these going extinct now, do we?

3) Trust me, I’m a doctor.

Earl Bailey - Voting Pic 

Earl

1) If you vote for me, the next generation will be an awesome explosion of musical charisma.

2) Male heirs rock.

3) Tiffany Angles.  ‘Nuff said.

Cointreau Bailey - Voting Pic

Cointreau

1) This legacy is not evil enough.  Let’s change that.

2) I’m cute and deadly, a brilliant combination.  The world will be mine, and my children shall be my minions.

3) Vote for the dark side… we have cookies.

Frangelico Bailey - Voting Pic

Frangelico

1) Pop career, hell yeah!

2) Me and this guy plan to have beautiful babies.

3) I’ll be the best mother and wife, ever.

 

Princess Peach (Part 2)

Princess Peach (Part 2)

A Bailey always put their family first, that’s an actual fact.  I’d noticed that Saffron had been feeling down recently, and it was only whilst we were at the student union playing on the arcade machines that she revealed the reason why.Screenshot-5049Naturally it had everything to do with Garry Cinder.  When she’d proposed to him that they should change their relationship statuses on Facebook considering they had been seeing each other for way over a year, he winced and apparently shot her a look as if she had suggested they should go drown a bag of kittens at the local swimming pool.Screenshot-4911My body shook with anger when I heard the despair wrapped around her words.  She had adored Garry to bits, and he was clearly the biggest douchebag on earth.Screenshot-5051That evening, I marched straight round to his place and, well, let’s just say I didn’t hold back with what I had to say to that dick.Screenshot-4704A couple of weeks later, Saffron was beaming from ear to ear when we met up after our classes for a catch up.

‘Garry’s dropped out of University,’ Saffron revealed, ‘something to do with personal issues.’

‘Aw, what a shame,’ I replied, my grin perhaps giving the game away that I had just a tiny bit of involvement in the matter of Garry flunking out of his degree.Screenshot-4648Although I felt sad for my sister, I was glad that my boyfriend, Danny, was still as lovely as ever and not a complete idiot.Screenshot-4816Even Saffron recognized that he was awesome.  For his 21st birthday party she picked out one of her little black dresses for me to wear, a revealing little number to say the least.  I had never worn anything like it before in my life; not because I was shy or anything, I just preferred clothes that made me feel comfortable and warm.  Perhaps I would have worn something different if I’d known beer pong would be involved.Screenshot-4770As expected, Danny loved my dress, and by dress I mean my obvious assets that were partly on display.Screenshot-4766He could be such a kid in a candy store at times.  It was lucky I wasn’t hot-headed else he would have ended up with my high heel jammed where the sun doesn’t tend to shine for the amount of ogling he did that night.Screenshot-4767As usual, the months continued to roll by, and finally, after three years of learning about facts and life, I graduated with 1st class honors somehow.Screenshot-5161Despite I knew I wouldn’t be using my degree to its full potential, I couldn’t wait to return home to start a little kingdom of my own… hopefully.Screenshot-5160

Princess Peach (Part 1)

Princess Peach (Part 1)

Ever since I was a baby, I’d been daddy’s little princess, despite being one of four daughters, I had been born first out of me and my twin sister Saffron, so maybe that’s why I’d always had a strong bond with my dad.Screenshot-3717It was no surprise that in the end I decided to study the same degree as him when I was encouraged to go to University.  Despite owning a race horse, who I trained with constantly, I had no athletic talents whatsoever…Screenshot-4760…And it showed.Screenshot-4759Still, after a few weeks of strength training, I became awesome at doing the keg-stand, which helped me make a few friends.Screenshot-4805Unfortunately, it never left me feeling great the following day.Screenshot-4656Soon enough I realised I had to buckle down and start taking my degree seriously. Screenshot-4657It wasn’t all about pumping iron or busting out jumping jacks, I had to learn about the human body too.  Muscles, bones, nutriment you name it.Screenshot-4694Often I would sit and study with Saffron since she too had to learn all this stuff (and more) for her Science and Medicine degree.Screenshot-4665She was such a little genius, not to mention stunning with her bright blue eyes and the plumpest lips (inherited from Grandma Coco).Screenshot-4666I had no issues with being the “ugly” twin, but I still hoped to meet my own Prince Charming one day.Screenshot-4667There was this one guy called Garry Cinder who Saffron and I bumped into at one of our favourite haunts.  I invited him over to our halls one afternoon, in hope I could muster up the courage to confess my attraction to him.Screenshot-4658However, as it turned out, he was way more interested in getting to know Saffron.Screenshot-4707I couldn’t stay mad at her for long though, it wasn’t as if she knew I liked Garry.  I don’t think she would have got with him otherwise.Screenshot-4717The weeks continued to fly by and I become more and more caught up in physical activity, sometimes with my room-mates, as bid to increase my confidence and fitness.Screenshot-4795 Screenshot-4792Screenshot-4794One day, after an early morning run, I returned to the house to grab some munch and bumped into Danny Harris.  He was one of those housemates who rarely seemed to be at home and would only return when he had to grab a fresh set of clothes.  He was supposedly studying the same degree as me too, but I’d only ever seen him attend a couple of classes over the semester.Screenshot-4664We ended up sitting in the dining hall together eating breakfast, chatting about the lecturers we loved and the ones we disliked as well as the other students.Screenshot-4786Jokingly, I ended up telling Danny about how Saffron somehow managed to unintentionally steal the attention of any straight man within a ten-foot radius, which made it difficult for socially awkward me to hold a guy’s interest whenever she was around.Screenshot-4790‘How does that work?’ Danny asked, eyes deadly serious, ‘you’re absolutely stunning.’Screenshot-4788In that moment I lost the ability to eat and almost managed to choke on my food.Screenshot-4789My cheeks burning, I swiftly finished off what food I could before I sat up and excused myself from the table, washing my plate up at lightning speed in the kitchen before hiding out in the garden until I was sure Danny was gone.  After that, I busied myself with attempting to repair the dishwasher, in hope to forget what Danny had said.  No guy (besides the ones in my family) had ever addressed me as stunning before.Screenshot-4791Still, later on that day, his words kept replaying over and over in my head, and I was disappointed when Danny didn’t turn up to our afternoon seminar.Screenshot-4755When I returned home that evening, I made an instant beeline for the trampoline in the garden.  Acting like a child was always a great way to alleviate any stress. Screenshot-4673 Screenshot-4674After dinner, I spent a bit of time reading in the study room before I decided it was time to try and get some sleep.  As I stepped onto the second floor landing I froze on the spot when the door opposite creaked open and Danny’s deep voice said my name. Shit.Screenshot-4710‘Hey, sorry if I crept you out earlier,’ Danny said, hands fiddling with his pockets.  My eyes analysed the chiseled features on his face as he gazed at me with his warm eyes.  Damn it, he most definitely meant what he said about me earlier.  Screenshot-4709‘Nah, truth is, I’m a little bit rubbish around people to be honest.  That’s why I own a horse,’ I explained, almost instantly kicking myself when I realised how ridiculous that had sounded out loud,Screenshot-4711‘Doesn’t bother me.  Hey, do you fancy going on a date tomorrow night?’ Danny proposed.Screenshot-4712I already knew what my answer was going to be, but still my cheeks flushed bright red and my chest tightened.  Taking a small, subtle intake of breath, I forced myself to answer before the awkward silence went by for too long.

‘I’d like that.’Screenshot-4821Whether it would become something serious was another question, but I was willing to find out all the same. 

Chapter 5.14

Chapter 5.14 – Congradulations

Naturally, before Peach and Saffron could head off to University, they had to go through the whole high school graduation ceremony, which more than often was a whole day event in which they would stand outside the city hall, get hungry and complain constantly.Screenshot-4586Mika, who was now looking more old than young, was slightly jealous of her youthful daughters, particularly Saffron, who would no doubt gain many male admirers whilst at University.Screenshot-4587Audrey, a girl who had once led old Murphy Bailey on back during Chapter 4.12 also happened to show her face at the graduation ceremony.  She either had children of her own, or was just trying to groom yet another eighteen year old boy.Screenshot-4591Turned out that although Murphy had forgiven, or quite simply just forgotten, what with his on-set Alzheimer’s disease, Jameson still held a grudge against her.  He made sure, with the help of Earl and Cointreau, that she could never deliberately break the heart of another living soul again by kindly murdering her.Screenshot-4592Peach and Saffron focused on raising their skills for the next year or so before they filled in their University test aptitude forms, which is obviously how the University entry application process works…Screenshot-4609Saffron applied to study Science and Medicine since she had plans to become a well renowned surgeon, and Peach applied for Physical Education since she still struggled to climb up the stairs, let alone get onto her horse.   Screenshot-4604Soon enough they were accepted and the rest of the family waved them off, glad to finally have a bit of space in the house.Screenshot-4626‘Take care, don’t get pregnant, Saffron!’Screenshot-4629Frangelico and Cointreau were particularly thrilled that in their older siblings absence, they were allowed to steal their bedroom.Screenshot-4627And of course, they had extra time to prove that they were more worthy of becoming the founder of the next generation.Screenshot-4935Cointreau in particular really wanted this responsibility as she believed the Baileys were not evil enough and would work on rectifying this.  Screenshot-4936Frangelico and Earl on the other hand were becoming quite the musicians and planned to sprinkle a bit of musical flavour onto the next generation.Screenshot-4938 Screenshot-4940As time developed, so did Earl.  He grew a lovely little goatee to mark his coming of age.  He planned to join Saffron and Peach at University, studying Fine Arts just like his Aunt Malibu had done.Screenshot-4990This final chapter of Generation 5 will end on a picture of Tremayne interacting with Milo the horse, who appears to have a rainbow shooting out from his neck.Screenshot-4505Like last time there will be a few bonus chapters of the “children” at University, but not as many as last time since it took up more time than anticipated to write them all.   Stay tuned for those and the voting poll 🙂 x x

Chapter 5.13

Chapter 5.13 – Off you go now

To celebrate getting old, Jameson and Mika threw a party, as seemed to be a long running tradition in the legacy of the Baileys.Screenshot-4454 - CopyFrangelico and Cointreau, who were avid Game of Thrones fans, dressed up in medieval style gowns, and even managed to pull the image off without looking like they were complete weirdos.Screenshot-4440Screenshot-4443Whilst most people stood around outside, like they were having difficulties getting inside the building, Mika and Cointreau grazed greedily on the cookies from the buffet.  The fact that Cointreau was not even halfway through her teen years did not deter Mika from asking her if she had thought about getting married to anyone.  In all honestly though she had given up on Peach and Saffron finding anyone on the Island that was marriage worthy.  Screenshot-4450‘Just a warning, sleep around as much as you can beforehand.  Once you’re married, that all goes out the window,’ Mika revealed, glancing over at Jameson who was about to sit down on the empty chair next to Cointreau.  Screenshot-4451‘Hey!’ Jameson exclaimed, no doubt feeling useless and humiliated.  It was true, however.Screenshot-4453 - CopyA few years later, it was official, Jameson and Mika were losing the elasticity in their skin,  a clear sign that death was slowly approaching.Screenshot-4502As for Peach and Saffron, they were still fairly young and just days away from adulthood, so they decided it was time to start planning their birthday party.Screenshot-4432Peach mused  about what they could do during every meal time, since thinking was only a thing she could do when she was eating.Screenshot-4532‘Why don’t you hire out the nightclub across the road from us?’ Earl suggested.  ‘We’re filthy rich and all, so $1,500 isn’t going to go amiss.’Screenshot-4529‘Wait, I’ve got a great idea! We’re rich, we can rent out the nightclub across the road from us’ Peach said, completely disregarding that Earl had just suggested the exact same thing. Screenshot-4533Screenshot-4531And so, they hired out the club for the night using money they had never contributed towards earning.Screenshot-4543The girls instantly hit the dance floor, whilst Earl headed to the bar to drink despite he was still below the legal age.Screenshot-4546‘You’re a genius, Peach!’ Saffron complimented, whilst two old men, who had not been invited, eyed them up from afar.Screenshot-4548Peach grinned, although it was a known fact that she did not possess the genius trait.  Nor did Frangelico, but she was musically talented so this did not matter.Screenshot-4549Somehow, the party went down well, despite most the guests turned up several hours late due to standing around outside for not apparent reason.Screenshot-4558Saffron also gained a new secret admirer.Screenshot-4563A while later, and after a much needed change of threads to mark their step into young adulthood, Saffron and Peach were ready to head off to University.Screenshot-4565Peach more unwillingly as she only wanted to stay at home and make a living by using her horse in races and the such, but Jameson and Mika convinced her that moving away from home temporarily would help develop her personality further.  Hopefully.Screenshot-4568

Chapter 5.12

Chapter 5.12 – Totally an accident

After a few more years of “hard work”, Jameson reached the top of his acrobatic career.  To celebrate he set himself on fire.Screenshot-4305And he hugged a giant ball.  Neither of these actions were part of his act, so he was swiftly escorted from the premises.Screenshot-4302Meanwhile, Cointreau and Frangelico celebrated the end of their childhood, with lots of a cake as was standard in the Bailey household.Screenshot-4336The family kept the celebrations simple by not inviting anyone else.  It was also a cunning ploy so they would have more cake to eat between them. Screenshot-4342Both girls wished to develop useful traits.Screenshot-4340Screenshot-4339Sadly, this did not happen.  Still, they grew up to be rather aesthetically pleasing, which is all that matters.Screenshot-4361Being musically inclined since the moment she had pretty much been born, Frangelico quickly took to playing her Grandfather’s (Judd’s) guitar and was actually quite good at it.Screenshot-4364Cointreau, who was yet another brain-box in the family, continued to focus on building up her logic skill.Screenshot-4369Of course, she was still very evil. Screenshot-4385She very much enjoyed trolling her family members, quite often by “accidentally” walking between them when they were having serious conversations in the bathroom.Screenshot-4402The only family member she was relatively kind to and supportive of was Frangelico, since they had shared the same womb and all.Screenshot-4397As for Earl, the middle child, he continued to study hard so he could look to go off to University when he was old enough.Screenshot-4388He also continued to work on raising his drum skills because he quickly learnt that chicks liked guys who could play instruments.Screenshot-4392Earl continued to be a bit of a dick to his older sister, Saffron.  On one particular occasion she had announced, to whoever was in earshot, how excited she was to dig into the last piece of cake in fridge, only to turn back around to find that Earl had claimed it as his.Screenshot-4379Screenshot-4380Saffron was not best pleased.Screenshot-4381Whilst Jameson and Earl dug into their slices of scrummy moist cake, Saffron was lumbered with leftover smoke salmon steak, which had started to go a little off.  Needless to say, she spent most that night glued to the toilet seat.   Screenshot-4383Saffron’s twin, Peach, had no real interest in cake but was still enthusiastic about horse riding despite constantly feeling terrified that Milo would buck her off at any moment.  It was a game he very much enjoyed playing with her.Screenshot-4390After a while, Milo grew to tolerate Peach and stopped arsing around with her as much.   Screenshot-4420Mika, who was starting to feel her age, and was partly jealous of her children’s youth and energy, started to exercise pretty much everyday as a bid to stay in shape.Screenshot-4400Jameson effortlessly managed to keep his physique in top condition with his career as an acrobat.  His confidence now at an all-time high, he decided during one fateful gig that it was time to pull off one of the most dangerous and deadly stunts of all, only known as “The Burning Inferno of Dangerous Stuff”.Screenshot-4423As he slowly made his way towards the hoop on the other side of the stage, his face was plagued with a deadly serious expression. Screenshot-4426His heart was racing as he positioned himself onto the flaming object.  However, moments later, his nerves dissipated as he started to roll around the stage, moving with the greatest of ease and with the grace of a ballet dancer.  Screenshot-4429All continued to go well, until he remembered that he had forgotten to record the latest episode of Dexter and lost control of the ring, consequently flying straight off the stage into the audience, flames spitting everywhere.  He managed to escape with a few minor burns, but unfortunately the audience weren’t so lucky, especially after the building collapsed on them.Screenshot-4428Jameson decided after that incident that it was safer to revert back to painting pretty landscapes and selling them on for extortionate amounts.  At least that way he could not be labelled as a mass-murderer.  Screenshot-4394

  

Chapter 5.11

Chapter 5.11 – And so they finally wedded

Saffron continued to be a science geek, who was no doubt going to grow up to become a doctor or a surgeon, much to her parents delight. Screenshot-4221Peach, who was an avid animal lover and no real talents, had managed to talk her parents into getting her a horse, whom she named Milo.  She hoped to train him up to win lots of races and show-jumping competitions so she could make lots of money.Screenshot-4217Shame he did not share her dreams and ambitions.Screenshot-4219‘Ow.’Screenshot-4220Once Peach had near enough recovered from her spinal injuries, Mika and Jameson decided it was time to get married, so organised a lovely late spring wedding.  Mika went for the lovely toilet roll cover look, which she managed to pull off fairly well.Screenshot-4230Being the youngest of the children, poor Frangelico and Cointreau were subjected to wearing matching bridesmaid dresses.Screenshot-4238Screenshot-4239As expected, a lot of familiar faces showed up to the wedding ceremony, including Murphy who was now grey and old.  Prince/King Joffrey from Game of Thrones also made an appearance.  Screenshot-4246Mika and Jameson stood patiently under the arch of tradition, waiting for every to get outside, before they said their vows and what not.Screenshot-4247‘Will you marry me, under the knowledge that we will eventually stop having woohoo altogether and I’ll have to resort to self-woohooing in the shower every morning?’ Jameson asked, a serious look gleaming in his adoring eyes.Screenshot-4248‘Sounds good to me!’ Mika responded, cupping her hands with his.Screenshot-4252And with that, they smooched and stuff, until everyone stopped cheering and throwing confetti at them.Screenshot-4257Of course, not everyone was happy.  Nina, who had only happened to be passing by the house on her bi-weekly run, fell into a state of total dismay when she realised that the celebrations going on in the garden were for Mika’s and Jameson’s marriage.  Screenshot-4259Nina then knew for certain that she had well and truly blown her chance with getting together with Jameson.  Still, she hung around, in hope she would be able to get her hands on a slice of wedding cake.Screenshot-4255‘Bitch ain’t getting any cake,’ thought Mika after clocking onto Nina’s presence.Screenshot-4264She then proceeded to announce to the guests that she would ensure most of them would receive a slice of cake; putting lots of emphasis on the word most.Screenshot-4266Screenshot-4267As the guests queued up for their cakey noms, Earl practiced his duck-face expression for the wedding photographer, whilst Peach peered over unimpressed at their Uncle Murphy, who was drunkenly doing the can-can by the edge of the pool, already drunk on the cocktails Tremayne had made.Screenshot-4276Alas, Jameson and Mika were finally man and wife, after year of putting it off.  That very night, they practiced the start of celibacy by having woohoo many times before realising they were doing it all wrong.  Screenshot-4313They would master things one day, as do most couples approaching their fifties.

Chapter 5.10

Chapter 5.10 – Where did it all go wrong?

Before long Jameson received another promotion, which of course meant another coloured outfit and more “wacky” face paint.  Screenshot-4154To celebrate, the Baileys decided to adopt another pet.  This time they went for a cat, since cats are rather awesome.  They named the little bugger Venus, after the razor brand because of her insanely sharp claws.Screenshot-4144At first Pooka was a bit skeptical of her, until she suggested that they went hunting for birds.Screenshot-4145After that, a simple high-five sealed their friendship for eternity, or at least until one of them died.Screenshot-4146Sadly, one young individual in the family was not keen on Pooka the dog.  That young individual was obviously Cointreau.  Screenshot-4076Everyone knows dogs can smell evil from a mile off, so she was more than aware that Pooka was onto her regarding her plans for world domination.  Screenshot-4077For the time being she knew he could not prove she was up to no good, nor was she making trouble in the neighbourhood, so all she had to do was keep a watchful eye on him and avoid slipping up with her own evil schemes.Screenshot-4080Of course, Cointreau could not help but slip a few white lies to Earl, such as how Pooka had managed to destroy all the spare light bulbs in the house.  Needless to say, he struggled to believe her, considering he soon discovered that her fingerprints were all over the shards of glass.Screenshot-4152That night, to make herself feel better, Cointreau requested that Peach read her a bedtime story, something to do with a pink cat who befriended a blue dog.  The blue dog ended up getting hit by a car, and Peach could not understand how a children’s book could be so morbid.  Turned out, however, that Cointreau had written and published it.Screenshot-4139A few weeks later, it was prom time, therefore Peach and Saffron got their glad-rags out.  Screenshot-4164Unfortunately neither of them had dates, nor did they pull anyone that night, but Saffron was still chuffed that she won the title of Prom Queen.Screenshot-4162That very same night, Earl celebrated his transition into teen-hood. Screenshot-4175A few kids from school were invited along, two of which were unfortunate sufferers of alopecia… Or at least that’s what Mika and Jameson hoped.   Screenshot-4179After Earl blew out his candles, he became a not too bad looking teenager.Screenshot-4192Having developed a keen interest for music during his childhood, Earl was pleasantly surprised that his parents had got him his own drum set.  He proceeded to play “We Will Rock You” – a legal requirement for anyone who plays the drums.Screenshot-4213A few weeks later, Saffron was chucking her guts up in the toilet.Screenshot-4207Of course, Earl happened to walk straight in on her since he had not heard of knocking.Screenshot-4208‘I knew it was only a matter of time before you got pregnant,’ Earl said.Screenshot-4209‘You realise the baby’s head is going to stretch you wide open like this,’ Earl teased, gesturing with his hands to demonstrate the destruction the baby would do to her “lady parts”.

‘Shut it, douche-bag, I’m not pregnant,’ Saffron replied, unimpressed by her brother’s childish assumptions. Screenshot-4210‘I caught Dad napping on the sofa completely naked earlier,’ Saffron explained, a small shudder shooting down her spine as she relived the moment, fortunately with a pixelated blur, which helped her cope with the stress and trauma somewhat.Screenshot-4131‘As you can imagine, it made me feel rather nauseous, especially when he admitted, after he got dressed, that he’d also napped that way on my bed countless times whilst I’d been at school.’ Screenshot-4206Satisfied that his older sister was not pregnant or had some form of eating disorder, Earl shooed her out of the room so he could flush the remains of the bag of cocaine in his pocket down the toilet, whilst Saffron went on her laptop to chat to men she didn’t know on the internets who were several years older than her.Saffron and PedobearThat night, Ricky sat alone on the sofa, wondering where his legacy, and his life, had all gone wrong.  He later concluded it was pretty much since the day he had agreed to marry Alice Bailey.  In hindsight, he would have much rather eloped with one of the youthful male customer’s at the bar he had worked in back at Bridgeport.Screenshot-4140

Chapter 5.9

Chapter 5.9- Winter Tails

Frangelico and Cointreau celebrated their leap into childhood a few winters later. Screenshot-4025Screenshot-4075Screenshot-4027Screenshot-4042Even Nina from Chapter 4.12 showed up to celebrate, although as soon as she realised how sexy Jameson had become, she regretted not being wooed by his cat videos and promptly proceeded to sob hysterically on his shoulder.Screenshot-4034She could not be blamed though.  He was more successful than ever, and had even managed to secure a gig at one of the biggest venues on the island.Screenshot-3982 - CopyHe was convinced there was a little something “wooden” about the audience, however.Screenshot-3977 - CopyStill, he didn’t care, and continued to play with fire, much like his grandmother, Irish, had done.Screenshot-3980 - CopyAs for Saffron and Peach, they  were now teenagers and had managed to grow into their noses somewhat.Screenshot-4085Anyways, since it was obviously Christmas, Jameson thought it would be a grand idea to invite all the other Baileys round for an awesome get together.  Even one-legged Paul made an appearance.Screenshot-4054Like father and daughter, Peach and Jameson kept an eye out for anything strange happening, or anyone acting inappropriate.Screenshot-4049Mika, however, questioned their abilities when, just a few hours later, she found a stray dog stood by the Christmas tree.Screenshot-4099The dog then proceeded to chew up all the presents still under the tree, one of which was a rather personal present Jameson had purchased for Mika.Screenshot-4069Turned out that Earl had somehow adopted the dog, named Pooka, from the pound, so naturally she gave him a good telling off.Screenshot-4089Still, they kept Pooka as he looked rather awesome and it had been a while since there had been any pets in the house.     Screenshot-4083Naturally, Earl was a very happy boy, and the evening only got better for him when he had pumpkin pie for dinner.Screenshot-4119Unfortunately, he quickly found out, after a couple of mouthfuls that the pie was no longer in date, so, as he spent the entire night glued to the toilet, he decided that his day had been mediocre, not awesome. 

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