A Bailey Legacy

Tis rather delicious

Archive for the tag “Minty”

Chapter 4.2

Chapter 4.2 – Farewell, Irish

Eventually Coco fell pregnant.  With the amount of sex she was having with Judd, it was no surprise really.Screenshot-946Judd took the news well.  With their sexy faces and “winning” personalities, he was confident they were going to produce delicious Bailey babies. Screenshot-940Sadly, Irish did not take the news as well.

‘Grandchildren?  Screw that, I’m out of here!’Screenshot-947Screenshot-949Naturally, Stacey was devastated when he discovered Irish had died, and in the bathroom of all places.  Screenshot-953The poor guy hadn’t been this upset since last Christmas when all he received was an empty box.Screenshot-910Irish’s death particularly hit Hayley and Coco very hard.  Deciding to seize the day after realising that life was too short, Coco invited Judd out to their favourite local cocktail bar so she could initiate the next stage of their relationship, over a couple of mocktails obviously.  Screenshot-974Propping herself down on one knee with a seven month baby bump was not the easiest of trials.  Despite her intentions were obvious, Judd still acted clueless.Screenshot-989And feigned surprise when she popped the question, as if the jewelry box she was holding up was going to spew out acid all over his face when she opened it. Screenshot-990He chuckled and felt like a complete moron after she had slipped the engagement ring onto his finger.Screenshot-994After that, they hugged and proceeded to drink mocktails, until the fruitiness got too much and they both threw up EVERYWHERE.Screenshot-995A couple of months later, Coco paid a visit to her brother, Cookie, who was living in the house of their Aunt Minty, who had died a few years ago.

‘Wow, you’re fat!’ Cookie commented as he pressed a hand against Coco’s stomach.Screenshot-997As they having lunch and were talking about how crazy Irish was, Coco felt a sharp sensation pierce through her belly, which immediately caused her to stand up and wince.

Whether it was Cookie touching her bump, or the chili hot-dog which she had started to eat, Coco did not quite frankly give a damn what had triggered her labor because she was quite easily in the worst pain she had ever experienced.Screenshot-998Cookie naturally kept his cool.Screenshot-999After a grueling labor, Coco ended up having a baby boy, whom they named Murphy since it was a very Irish name.  Coco and Judd were aware that he would no doubt grow up to be an alcoholic.Screenshot-1001

Chapter 3.8

Chapter 3.8 – Kicking it up a notch

By the time Irish was old (aka in her fifties), she had achieved her lifetime wish of becoming the greatest five-star chef, ever.  She celebrated by having a lime sorbet, in the company of Admiral the gnome, whom she had stolen from France. Screenshot-777Cookie also had something to celebrate.  His graduation, which none of his family appeared to really show any interest in.Screenshot-780He was chuffed, however, to find out that one of his cousins (Minty’s daughter), called Megan, was also a ginger.  He had not seen her in years, so had forgotten.   Screenshot-782Soon it was Autumn and Coco decided to visit the Harvest Festival.  The rest of the family gave it a miss because they were hooked on the Dexter box set Stacey had got for his birthday.

After a brief look around, Coco decided to try her luck in a pie eating contest.Screenshot-786It was the most degrading thing she had ever participated in.Screenshot-787And she still lost.Screenshot-788She also gave apple bobbing a go.Screenshot-792Moments after this picture was taken, Coco almost accidentally drowned.Screenshot-791Finally, she braved the haunted house.  It was filled with stairs, slides, mazes, oh and scary things of course.  By the time she had managed the find the exit, it was the next day, and she was absolutely knackered, much to her dismay.  Coco had always seen herself as being ultra fit, so it was a shock to the system.  Screenshot-784So, she decided to take up mixed martial arts, since she was a fan of kung-fu movies and the such.  Screenshot-797With the use of YouTube videos, and plenty of classes, Coco quickly progressed up the ranks, seemingly gaining a new belt every day.  Screenshot-796Screenshot-798Screenshot-799The spirits of Alice, Ricky and Pippy were so pleased with Coco and her apparent martial arts ability that they even came out to party in the garden, on the night Coco gained her first sparring trophy.Screenshot-727Coco was grateful that her ancestors were proud of her.  Since it was apparent she was going to be the heiress for the next generation.Screenshot-801She hoped that when it was her time to take over the Bailey legacy that she would not fade in distance once she started her own family, much like Irish had over the last several chapters…

Chapter 3.2

Chapter 3.2- Mysterious Mysteries

Irish was instantly smitten by her new brother / second father, and did not think to question how he came to exist.  Since Caramel had no mother, Irish took him under her wing and often read him stories, written by Ricky Bailey, as she tucked him into bed.   Screenshot-476‘Why are all these stories about men hanging out together at cocktail bars?’ Caramel asked. Screenshot-477‘I don’t know,’ replied Irish, before she quickly got up, switched off the light switch, left the room and burnt the book in the oven.Screenshot-478Five months after Caramel joined the family, Irish and Stacey followed tradition by marrying in the back garden of the Bailey house.  Screenshot-490Screenshot-488Irish had prepared the cake herself, obviously, and made sure she was the one who got to cut it.

‘How fitting, I’m marrying a woman who likes to spend her time in the kitchen,’ Stacey chirped.

‘Darling, unless you fancy a castration I suggest you shut the fuck up,’ Irish said, loud enough so only Stacey could hear, but still smiling so their guests thought they were exchanging harmless lovey-dovey banter.  Screenshot-496Stacey soon shut up after that, and Irish, being hardcore, did not even need a knife to cut the wedding cake.Screenshot-497 ‘Impressive,’ thought Stacey.Screenshot-499Minty turned up to the wedding with her twin girls a bit later, since she and Federico had been busy consoling each other regarding the fact that Robert Pattinson had split up with Kristin Stewart in real life.Screenshot-501‘No worries, they’ll probably get back together for the premier of the last Twilight film,’ Irish reassured.Screenshot-500Several months later, Irish found out she was pregnant.Screenshot-503Turned out that Crissy was too, because she had not been taught anything about safe sex.Screenshot-502Crissy decided to propose to her blonde haired man, since she was certain he was the father.  The fact that he owned a flame patterned towel also sealed the deal.Screenshot-512‘Yey, now your organs will be mine, forever and ever,’ Crissy whispered as they hugged.Screenshot-515‘Did you just say something about my organs?’ Her boyfriend, perhaps called Jeff, asked.

‘No, don’t be silly!’ Crissy giggled.Screenshot-507A few weeks later, Jeff mysteriously disappeared, and Irish received a mysterious delivery of mystery meat, which she used to make some delicious hot-dogs, mmm. Screenshot-417

Chapter 2.8

Chapter 2.8 – No hard feelings?

Irish Bailey was relieved when it was finally time to graduate from culinary school. She was more than eager to start working to become one of the greatest chefs ever, and to play with fire in the safety of her own house.  Screenshot-402Unfortunately, her eagerness got the better of her and the rest of the family were not best pleased to find the graduation hall on fire by the time they arrived to congratulate Irish.  Screenshot-403Irish managed to avoid going to jail by baking a delicious fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches for the judge and jury.  Instead, she was given a slap on the wrist and a lecture about why fire is dangerous and bad.Screenshot-447A few months later, Minty proposed to Federico after they had attended a Twilight film-fest at their local cinema.       Screenshot-396Federico did indeed “sqwee” like a fangirl (both at the proposal, and during the films).Screenshot-397Soon they were wedded and moved out of the Bailey household to start their own family and all that stuff.  Yes, family.  She was pregnant in this picture, not fat.Screenshot-432Being weighed down with the responsibility of carrying on the Bailey legacy, Irish decided that it was time to tackle her own demons, so she stole a questionable looking orange potion from Fudge’s chemistry creations collection.

‘So, if you drink this potion it’ll make anything you touch turn into fire,’ Irish lied as she handed it over to Crissy, her imaginary friend based of her childhood doll, who often encouraged her pyromaniac tendencies. Screenshot-443‘Sweet, I could burn me some kittens’ Crissy replied, before she gulped it down.

There was a puff of smoke and sparkles, Crissy spluttered and choked as the acidic liquid began to burn her insides.  Irish grinned wickedly… until, before her very eyes, Crissy started to morph into a human being, with real skin and everything.  Screenshot-444Irish’s jaw was still wide open even after the transformation had finished and Crissy was admiring her new body.  Once she had finished squeezing her new breasts, Crissy stared up at Irish wide-eyed and with a creepy puppet-like smile on her pudding shaped face.

‘I guess you weren’t expecting this happen?’ Crissy spoke in a low, eerie tone.

Slowly, Irish shook her head.

‘You were hoping the potion was going to kill me, weren’t you?’ Crissy’s voice remained the same as did her terrifying  facial expression.

Irish slowly nodded her head as an expression of unease appeared across her face.

‘No hard feelings though, right?’ Irish laughed, a very awkward laugh.Screenshot-445Crissy continued to stare at Irish, her eyes boring into Irish’s very soul.

‘Bitch, I’m going to murder you in your sleep.’Screenshot-446‘Shit,’ said Irish.

Chapter 2.7

Chapter 2.7 – To be honest, Jacob is better

Minty celebrated her transition into adulthood without fear that Irish would burn the venue down, or her waistcoat.   Screenshot-362It was after Minty had aged that Pippy realised that her and Fudge would need at least one of their daughters to carry on the Bailey Legacy.  Picking which one was not an easy feat.  Sure, Minty was a talented musician, and not an endangerment to their lives when it came to fires… Wait, scrap that, the choice was rather obvious in fact.  Screenshot-372In the end, Fudge and Pippy insisted that the two girls had a sing-off to decide who the next Generation heiress should be.  To most people’s surprise, Irish won.  It turned out that although Minty was great with instruments, her voice sounded somewhat like a cat with a severe throat infection.Screenshot-369Irish was so excited about her victory that she decided to meet her best friend, Stacey, at the local coffee house, to tell him the news.  Screenshot-377As she made her way over to the outdoor tables, she was instantly drawn to a well dressed man who was reading a Twilight book, maybe the first or second book in the series, Irish could not quite tell.  Screenshot-373Irish coughed loudly as an attempt to gain his attention, however, he was too engrossed with Bella’s love life to hear her.Screenshot-374Shrugging her shoulders, Irish took a seat opposite the man, placing her English homework down onto the table just to show him that she was all into literature and stuff.  Screenshot-375‘Excuse me!’ The man exclaimed.  He stood up quickly and rested an arm on his hip and pouted.  Irish could not help but think he looked a little bit like Edward Cullen.  Only a little bit.  Screenshot-376Just as Irish was about to ask the man if he fancied grabbing a coffee with her sometime, Stacey decided to pick the worst time to make his entrance. Screenshot-378‘Hey, Irish, how are you… Whoah, is that Robert Pattinson?’ Stacey cupped his hands over his face, like an excited school girl.

‘My name is Federico!’ The man revealed, throwing his arms out in frustration.  ‘And yes, I like Twilight… In fact, I love it!  Surely you do too, being a teenage girl?’

‘Er, no, not really.  I’m more of a cook book kind of girl.’

‘See, this is my problem!’ Federico sobbed.  ‘No girls like a man who’s a Twihard!’

As Stacey shifted awkwardly on his feet, an idea suddenly came to Irish.

‘My sister, she always plays that song Edward plays on the piano in the Twilight films,’ Irish revealed.  ‘She said she would be lucky to find a man who could put up with her playing  it.   I’ll set you two up!’Screenshot-379And so, Irish introduced Federico to Minty.  Screenshot-383It did not take too long for them to get familiar with one another, and to discuss their favourite Twilight moments.     Screenshot-386Pleased that her sister had found someone to spend the rest of her life with, Irish decided to bag herself a man too.  Screenshot-387So, that very evening, Irish ended up making out with Stacey at their prom night, despite he had clearly not made any effort with his attire.  I mean, three-quarter length combat trousers… come on!Screenshot-388

Chapter 2.6

Chapter 2.6 – A bit of fire never hurt anyone

After Irish had murdered her Scout leader and his family, time whizzed by rather quickly. Before long she was a teenager who enjoyed pointing one of her fingers in an upwards direction.  Her index finger, obviously.Screenshot-335Of course, Irish still quite liked making fires once in a while, much to the dismay of her older sister, Minty.  The number of musical books and clothes which belonged to Minty that Irish burnt over the years was both impressive and worrying.  Screenshot-336Irish also loved birthdays since it meant candles, and candles meant potential fire hazards.   Screenshot-339Just seconds after this photo was taken, Fudge’s waist jacket caught on fire.  Sadly, it did not survive Screenshot-344Taking harsh measures, Pippy did not allow Irish to attend her birthday party a few months later, fearing that her favourite purple lace dress would follow the same fate of Fudge’s waistcoat.  Screenshot-352‘However, Irish still found a way to get inside the venue.  The building was evacuated shortly after this picture was taken.Irish is hereAfter Pippy’s birthday, Irish decided to confide in her best friend, Stacey, who at the time was going through a stage of dating boys (true in-game story people), regarding her pyromaniac tendencies.  Screenshot-348‘Why not join culinary school?’ Stacey suggested. ‘That way you can play around with fire and learn how to create delicious things at the same time for you and other people.  It’s a win-win situation!’Screenshot-349Stacey had a brilliant point.  Irish was a fantastic cook, so it seemed like an ideal path to pick.  To commemorate her decision, Irish made some yummy hot-dogs for the family and they all had a wonderful picnic.Screenshot-357 (Edit)Except for Tremayne because he was not invited.Screenshot-1219

Chapter 2.5

Chapter 2.5 – Burning Desires

As always, time flew by and it was soon time for Irish to become a fully fledged child.  Screenshot-310Screenshot-313Screenshot-314The turnout for her party was not exactly something to boast about.  Then again, she was barely going to have many friends considering her age.Screenshot-311She turned out a little cross-eyed unfortunately, but this was shortly fixed by Tremayne and an invention he had created.    Screenshot-315Sadly, it left her mentally scarred for life.Screenshot-316Nothing else particularly significant happened until Minty aged up into a teenager.Screenshot-317Being a party animal, her turnout was muchos better than Irish’s party.Screenshot-318Minty thought hard about her wish before blowing out the candles on her vanilla and raspberry birthday cake.  She decided that she wanted to become talented at something. Screenshot-320Once she was settled on her wish, she took a deep breath and puffed out her candles in one attempt.  Fudge was not happy because he had in fact bought those candles that relight after they are blown out, so he promptly marched down to the grocery store for a refund.Screenshot-321Minty’s wish was soon granted.  She became a talented musician, particularly when it came to playing the piano.  Fudge often watched, mostly in disapproval because he would have preferred that she had taken up chess so he had someone to play with.Screenshot-324Because of her ambitious nature and arguably good looks, the boys at high school were quite fond of Minty.  She was literally fighting them off everyday.Screenshot-328She was a force not to be reckoned with.Screenshot-323Irish, who was still quite the daddy’s girl, had joined the Scouts so he would be even more proud of her than he already was. Screenshot-330For one of her badges, and a chance to work for Lord Alan Sugar, Irish had to set up a successful business.  Since Irish was pretty good at cooking, she decided to work on establishing a bakery business.  She made some vanilla and blueberry muffins based on a recipe she had seen in a Delia Smith cookbook and tried to flog them off at the nearby park.Screenshot-325To her disappointment, she did not even sell one measly muffin.  Well, she was charging them at $25 a piece, so what did she expect really?

Needless to say, Lord Alan Sugar was not impressed with her business acumen.Irish is firedScreenshot-326Completely distraught that she would not become the next junior apprentice for Lord Alan Sugar, Irish returned home that night and confided in her doll, Crissy, who, over the years, had become more and more real to her.

‘Hush, hush, it’s ok, Irish,’ Crissy soothed, all ya gotta do is burn the Scout leader’s house down.  Burn it down, to the ground.’Screenshot-333And so, Irish did.

Chapter 2.4

Chapter 2.4 – Baby bait

‘The internet shall answer all,’ Fudge thought as he loaded up Google and typed in “awesome ways of raising up children”.  Screenshot-281The information he found must have worked somehow because Minty made it to her first birthday without too much emotional trauma.  Screenshot-275Pippy loved being a mum.  As well as all the child benefits, and the generously paid maternity leave, she enjoyed inflicting her thoughts and beliefs onto an impressionable young mind.  Screenshot-277 Screenshot-278When Minty was nearing her second birthday and Pippy had forgotten all about the horrific pain of childbirth, they decided to try for another baby.  Screenshot-280And soon enough, Pippy was pregnant and radiant as ever!Screenshot-283Since she did not want to be a fat and frumpy mother, she made sure to do plenty of exercise.  Dancing along to the “Heads, shoulders, knees and toes” song was something she ended up doing on a daily basis, even after she had given birth.Screenshot-288Irish Bailey was born in a hospital, like Minty was.Screenshot-294Being a good child, young Minty completely doted on Irish. Screenshot-303They often played together with the strange voodoo dolls which Tremayne had found in the scrapyard.Screenshot-306Irish gained an unhealthy obsession with her doll, Crissy, which would later impact her adult life.Screenshot-307As for Minty, growing up into a child with an enthusiastic mum and a charismatic dad had also turned her into a right party animal.  Her love for pancakes remained a mystery, particularly since Fudge and Pippy preferred having waffles for breakfast.Screenshot-298 Minty threw her very first slumber party a few weeks after starting school.  Unfortunately, it was an awkward one.  Screenshot-305Fatherhood was a breeze for Fudge the second time round.  He thoroughly enjoyed looking after Irish since she was friendly and easily impressed.Screenshot-308He would often take her out for walks, and sometimes used her as bait to catch criminals or find new clues.Screenshot-309Fudge believed he was the most awesome father in the world, almost as awesome as he was at playing chess.Screenshot-337‘Hello? Earth to Fudge!  Are you there?  It’s your move…  Ah forget it, I’m going home.’Screenshot-338

Chapter 2.3

Chapter 2.3 – The wedding and pregnancy chapter

Fudge and Pippy wedded on a lovely Spring evening, in their own back garden, because they were classy like that (well, actually, they were too stingy to hire out a fancy venue).  Of course, Fudge donned his awesome blue tuxedo he had worn on his prom night.  Screenshot-234Here is a closeup for your viewing pleasure. Screenshot-236Pippy was happy that Fudge relented and let her cut the lovely cyanide lemon flavoured wedding cake, made by the ghost of Ricky Bailey.Screenshot-246 Screenshot-245It was a smashing wedding, although there was one thought  that kept going through Pippy’s mind throughout the entire ceremony;

Is Fudge wearing make up?’   Screenshot-243‘Damn I’m sexy.  Guyliner rocks!’Screenshot-241Once the guests had left, Pippy and Fudge totally had their own little private celebration in bed.  If ya know what I mean 😉 Screenshot-224And in what felt like a day later, Pippy discovered she was totally pregnancy.  Like, totally.Screenshot-247Although she was pleased, she had to put her acting career on hold as her pregnancy progressed since she struggled to carry out the stunts in her action scenes.Screenshot-253Whilst Fudge was out doing his detective business, Pippy decorated the baby’s room; with help from Tremayne the simbot.  He suggested a space theme for the cot and the mobile hanging above it.  Fudge was responsible for picking out the logic building toy, and the doll’s house.  Screenshot-252Fudge could not get enough of Pippy’s baby bump.  He was fascinated by how she was carrying around a little human being inside her.  Being an inquisitive man, he was constantly investigating the development of her bump.Screenshot-256And he often made jokes about how edible it looked…Screenshot-250 …although he had to reassure her that, unlike his father, he had no intentions of actually trying to do so.

‘He was just an idiot, darling.’Screenshot-251Pippy’s water broke in the middle of the night a few weeks later.Screenshot-257Fudge remained calm and collected.Screenshot-258Several hours later, at the hospital, Pippy gave birth to a little baby girl whom Fudge insisted they called Minty.  Naturally, Minty Bailey was a delight to all.  Screenshot-260 When Fudge picked up the soft bundle of joy for the first time, after leaving the hospital, he stared blankly into her bright greens (inherited from Ricky, obviously) and puffed out his pouty lips.

‘I have no idea what to do with you.’Screenshot-267

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