Chapter 6.4

Chapter 6.4 – Cake or Death?

Cointreau focused heavily on her fitness, after all, it was hard to look good and be evil without putting any effort into it.Pooka still did not approve of Cointreau and her evil ways, but now he was too old to do anything about it.All he could do was stare at her, in hope to distract her enough so that she’d fall off the treadmill and break her neck.  One day he hoped to succeed.As Autumn approached, Jeffery decided to propose to Cointreau, and chose to do so at a swanky gay bar downtown.‘Marry me, I’m delicious!’Naturally his proposal was met with a very warm reception.Cointreau was very fond of sparkly things, so she was very pleased with the ultra sparkly ring Jeffery had picked out.It matched the diamonds she had stolen the other night in a raid at the local jewelers.They hugged for a bit then headed off to the bar to get crazy drunk on fancy cocktails.Mika and Jameson were ecstatic to hear that this generation was finally making progress.  They were eager to watch Cointreau wed Jeffery and were even more excited to meet their future grandchildren, as and when they came along.  Nothing could prevent that.‘Oh, hey, Mika Moore, right?’ Well, nothing besides death.‘God dammit.’  ‘Yoink!’Meanwhile, at the front of the house, Jameson was showing the guests inside as he and Mika had organised a party to celebrate how awesome live was, that and it was also Christmas time, which meant lots of lovely presents and cake.‘Wait, do I hear dramatic organ music and bells?’‘Oh, come on, really?’‘This has to be the most inconvenient time to die!’‘Yo, Jameson Bailey, your wife is waiting,’ The Grim Reaper said.‘But, what about the cake?’ Jameson whined.  Irish also agreed that this was a tragedy, but then quickly remembered that there was lots of cake in the afterlife and told Jameson about this.After that he willingly went off with Grimmy to learn the basics of being a ghost, and to also get some cake.And so, the gravestone collection grew once again.Even though Cointreau was evil, she was devastated.  Her parents had been rather cool after all, and now she had very little support to help raise her future babies.On top of all that, a few days later, Cointreau learnt that Jeffery had been secretly modelling for Calvin Klein.  Admittedly though, this cheered her up immensely and soon enough life resumed as normal.Minus the fact that Cointreau insisted that Jeffery did all the house chores in his underwear from that day on.

Chapter 5.7

Chapter 5.7 – They’ll grow into them

Soon enough, Jameson had almost reached the top of his acrobat career, which meant he had received a new costume during that time, which Mika appeared to love a little too much.Anyways, main household aside, Mew the old family cat was getting along just fine now that she was living with Murphy and his family (including his Aunt Hayley, who was still kicking around despite being ancient).She had developed a phobia of flip-flops, however.Judd, who had not remarried or anything since Coco had died, would often pop round for a visit, particularly to see how his grandchildren, Francisco (who was approaching teen-hood) and Wanda, were doing. Sadly, on one specific visit, Judd suffered from a fatal heart attack whilst he was cuddling Wanda.The result of this was not good.Amaretto and Aaron (who were also visiting at the time) could only watch on in horror as Judd awaited his obvious fate.Even Mew was devastated.  She had quite liked Judd as he used to the be the only one who really bothered to feed her when she had originally lived with him.When old Grimmy finally bothered to show up, Judd dropped down to his knees and begged.  He had not completed his life time goal of rescuing thirty people from death, so felt somewhat unfulfilled with his life.‘Get up, you,’ the Grim Reaper said in response.  A small smile then flashed across his face. ‘I’m feeling slightly generous today, so maybe I’ll let you live.’Unfortunately, it turned out  that he was lying.As always, everyone got over Judd’s death as time ticked by and Mika fell pregnant yet again.By this point, Earl was a toddler with a pretty awesome looking haircut.And the twins, Peach and Saffron, were now children who were yet to grow into their noses. At least from a distance no one could tell they had unfortunate looking honkers.   Mika fell into labour a few weeks earlier than anticipated.  Jameson was out and about securing acrobat gigs at the time, and Tremayne was teaching Earl how to walk and talk, so the only person who could physically take her to the hospital was Irish, who was temporarily haunting the house.‘Screw that,’ Irish said, before she vanished back into the spirit world.Needless to say, Mika was not a very happy bunny.Eventually Mika got to the hospital where she gave birth to another set of twin girls.  Her and Jameson named these ones Cointreau and Frangelico.Jameson and Mika soon quickly learnt that there was something slightly off about Cointreau by the way she constantly kept trying to strangle and pinch them.  It was as if she had developed an evil trait of some kind…

Chapter 4.9

Chapter 4.9 – But I love you, Kate…

A few years later, Murphy managed to morph into a rather handsome looking teenager.  He even decided to change his hairstyle since he had not changed his style since being a toddler. Coco was now a brown belt in whatever martial art it was that she did.

It was amazing she had accomplished this, considering how “special” she could be at the best of times.

‘Yum, rain!’Judd had turned all badass and, after a few more promotions, decided he had the skills to pull off wearing “bad boy” shades for work.  He even mastered the disapproving scowl to go with it.However, Judd was quick to learn that sunglasses do not particularly help you put out a fire any faster, so a few buildings and lives were lost sadly.The Bailey family also had their first robbery in what felt like decades (aka since the first generation).  ‘The hell are you?’ Amaretto questioned whilst she made her morning march towards the kitchen.‘Clearly not the tooth fairy, am I?’Moments later, the door flung open, and in ran the rather belated policewoman, considering the alarms had been going off for over two hours.‘God damn it, Kate, stop running off like that!  I love you!’‘I’m sorry, Rachel,’ Kate sobbed, turning her back on Rachel, guilty expression washed across her face.  ‘You know that I’m terrible when it comes to romance and relationships.  I just wish…’‘Not interested.  Take your dramas and get the hell out of our legacy!’ Malibu interrupted the attempted side-story.‘I has a new favourite child!’ Tremayne thought, doing his best to smile without looking too creepy.   After that Tremayne decided to start following Malibu everywhere.  All well and good, until she finally noticed he was stalking her just as she was about to use the toilet.‘Get the hell out.’Meanwhile, Coco was looking to address her issues and started to read a book called ‘How to be an Awesome Parent’, which had actually been written by Ricky Bailey many moons ago.‘You’re a terrible mother, that book is not going to help you become any better,’ Irish ever so kindly informed her daughter as she floated by her in spirit form, holding a delicious looking snow cone.This chapter will end with a picture of Jameson looking solemn and alone, because this is how he feels due to Coco’s bad parenting ability.  Thanks for that, Coco.

Chapter 4.5

Chapter 4.5 – Just a little bit robophobic

Murphy was the first Bailey to really become attached to Tremayne.  He found the simbot’s cold metal exterior somewhat soothing to snuggle up to. Eventually it got to a stage where Murphy would only allow Tremayne to pick him up to allow him to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.  Although Judd did his best to put on a happy face, the fact that Murphy was forming such a strong bond with Tremayne upset him deeply.  He was a little bit robophobic you see.A few birthdays later, Murphy grew wise to his father’s hatred for robots, so started to avoid hanging out with Tremayne as much, although it was obviously a painful thing to do.He found ways to cope, however, even if they did reflect on a particular incident involving a certain Irish and her doll, Crissy, a couple of generations ago.The triplets had also aged up over the cleverly placed time transition.  Malibu was a fairly creative individual with a disciplined nature.Amaretto was said to be rather eccentric and hated to leave the comfort of her crib, let alone the house.And Jameson was just a bundle of pure energy combined with an artistic nature.Anyways, enough of the snotty nosed children and their personality traits.  Hayley had met a guy called Dale Peacock (actual true in-game generated name), and since she was getting on a bit and her ovaries were starting to shrivel up, she decided to get down on one knee and suck his propose to him.  Funnily enough, they decided not to move in together straight away.  Hayley was still enjoying being part of the legacy way too much to suddenly leave and become a forgotten entity.  She also saved Coco money by being a handy babysitter for the children. Since there is no actual other way to end this chapter, here is a scandalous photograph of Judd, dancing his little furry chest off in Sunlit Tides’ most (and only) notorious gay club.

Chapter 4.3

Chapter 4.3 – Don’t you, forget about me

As soon as Coco could after having Murphy, she was back to doing her martial arts, quickly achieving her blue belt in Kick Ass.Whereas Judd continued being a very smoldering hot fireman for her.Unfortunately, it was not all plain sailing.  Since Stacey had achieved whatever his lifetime wish was, and was still missing Irish more than anything, he decided it was a good time to hang in the towel and die.The Grim Reaper promptly appeared to collect him, as he got lost on the way to the afterlife.Taking hold of Stacey’s weedy arm, the Old Grim Reaper escorted him to the everlasting ghost party.Once his body was buried in the garden, along with all the other dead Baileys, it was apparent just how quickly the number of gravestones out there was increasing.  Coco and Judd were aware that one day their gravestones would join this picture.Therefore, two months after Stacey’s death, Coco and Judd had a pleasant summer wedding in the usual place of tradition, before anyone else they cared about, or themselves, decided to die.   Such a cute couple they were, it made everyone at the wedding vomit.After all the guests had headed home, Coco and Judd grabbed a taxi to the local park, where they sat in the rain, contemplating about how brilliant their day had been.        It was a grand day indeed, despite Coco’s dress got ruined from sitting on the wet grass for too long, and Judd ended up with a nasty cold that lasted for almost two weeks.  ‘Hey, hey!  Check me out, I’m swimming!’ Ricky Bailey announced, abruptly changing the focus of the ending to this chapter, since he had not been mentioned for quite a while now and still wanted to have involvement with the legacy.

Chapter 4.2

Chapter 4.2 – Farewell, Irish

Eventually Coco fell pregnant.  With the amount of sex she was having with Judd, it was no surprise really.Judd took the news well.  With their sexy faces and “winning” personalities, he was confident they were going to produce delicious Bailey babies. Sadly, Irish did not take the news as well.

‘Grandchildren?  Screw that, I’m out of here!’Naturally, Stacey was devastated when he discovered Irish had died, and in the bathroom of all places.  The poor guy hadn’t been this upset since last Christmas when all he received was an empty box.Irish’s death particularly hit Hayley and Coco very hard.  Deciding to seize the day after realising that life was too short, Coco invited Judd out to their favourite local cocktail bar so she could initiate the next stage of their relationship, over a couple of mocktails obviously.  Propping herself down on one knee with a seven month baby bump was not the easiest of trials.  Despite her intentions were obvious, Judd still acted clueless.And feigned surprise when she popped the question, as if the jewelry box she was holding up was going to spew out acid all over his face when she opened it. He chuckled and felt like a complete moron after she had slipped the engagement ring onto his finger.After that, they hugged and proceeded to drink mocktails, until the fruitiness got too much and they both threw up EVERYWHERE.A couple of months later, Coco paid a visit to her brother, Cookie, who was living in the house of their Aunt Minty, who had died a few years ago.

‘Wow, you’re fat!’ Cookie commented as he pressed a hand against Coco’s stomach.As they having lunch and were talking about how crazy Irish was, Coco felt a sharp sensation pierce through her belly, which immediately caused her to stand up and wince.

Whether it was Cookie touching her bump, or the chili hot-dog which she had started to eat, Coco did not quite frankly give a damn what had triggered her labor because she was quite easily in the worst pain she had ever experienced.Cookie naturally kept his cool.After a grueling labor, Coco ended up having a baby boy, whom they named Murphy since it was a very Irish name.  Coco and Judd were aware that he would no doubt grow up to be an alcoholic.

Chapter 3.10

Chapter 3.10 – It’s tricky

It was still snowing on the day of the twins’ graduation.Irish was apprehensive as she was certain she had left the oven switched on back at home.Still, the girls looked as lovely as ever in their graduation caps and gowns.Particularly Coco, who was just thrilled to be standing out in the freezing cold as they all waited to be let into the building.Tremayne found a way to keep himself occupied.  It was all well and good, until the snow melted and got into his circuits, almost killing him.   A few days later, Cookie, who was still over staying his welcome, finally decided to pop the question to Thelma.  She was amazed that he even could afford a fancy ring, considering he did not even had a job.  Well, he did sell pictures he painted, but that is not a real and stable income now, is it? Coco was focusing hard on raising her athletic skill up, in the most fun ways possible.  She was a big fan of the computer game series “SSX”, so it seemed fitting that she took up the sport during winter time, a time where no one really wanted to slave away in the gym.‘Wheeeee!’ However, Coco soon discovered that there was in fact a gym room back at her house, so, with the help of Tremayne, started to workout there as well.   ‘I’m finally getting the hang of this running thing!’ Coco happily exclaimed.Unfortunately, Tremayne begged to differ.The next morning Coco ached all over and could not make it out of her room, due to the agony she was in.  It seemed young Coco had quite a way to go before she would achieve her lifetime wish of physical perfection.  

Chapter 3.9

Chapter 3.9 – Snow more puns

For what felt like the first time ever, winter arrived in Sunlit Tides.  Everyone was snowed in, since the island had never really anticipated snow, let alone snow this heavy.  Indoors, Cookie, who was quite honestly over staying his welcome, was keeping his girlfriend, Thelma, occupied by pretending to be a model.Before long, he got bored and decided to keep her entertained in another way, with the sly use of mistletoe, obviously.‘You, clothes off and upstairs, now.’Meanwhile, outside in the garden, some shiny multi-coloured lights appeared in the sky.Hayley was convinced she was tripping, although she was certain she had not smoked or taken anything drug-wise.  When a strange unidentified flying object suddenly appeared above her, she wished she had smoked or taken something.  Hayley felt her heart pound as a strange beam shot out from the underside of the strange flying thing, which she could only really describe as a spaceship, although she had never really seen one of those in real life.It enveloped her, much like a warm hug; only with an ice bear who has acid soaked hairs.As the beam pulled her upwards, she tried to scream, but no sound escaped.  She thought it was the power of the beam preventing her from doing so, but it turned out that someone had only muted the volume.  Seconds later, the spaceship vanished into thin air, and just like that, Hayley was gone.  Like, totally.It took the Bailey family a few weeks to realise that Hayley was missing.  Coco was so devastated by her twin sister’s disappearance that she started a fire, as one would naturally do.Unfortunately, Irish was not happy about losing yet another BBQ.  Coco, however, denied the whole thing and casually pretended that some sort of fire monster must have been responsible for such a heinous crime.She even got Admiral the gnome, and a snowman, to vouch for her.  Anyways, a few more weeks later, a spaceship pulled up outside the Bailey household, although none of the family members seemed to notice.Out popped Hayley, who was feeling sore in a way she had only experienced once before.  Standing behind her was some strange creature, who looked reluctant to let her go.  Hayley had been blindfolded throughout her ordeal, so she was both pleased and angered to finally get to see her kidnapper.  On closer inspection, Hayley was sure she recognised him from somewhere.‘I’ll never look at hot-dogs in the same way again!’Once realising that Hayley had returned, the family threw a party to celebrate.  It was the twins’ birthday as well, so that was another excuse really.  Hayley managed to bury her traumatic experience into a dark, dark corner of her mind and made the most out of the attention and cake available.As for Coco, she declared that someone had better of gotten her a new pair of shoes, else there would be hell to pay.A few months later, Hayley had a Britney Spears styled breakdown and shaved off all her hair.  When it grew back to a reasonable length, Hayley kept it that way because she thought it made her look more rock-chick-like.Whereas, plain and simple Coco ended up donning a mumsy gym look, in preparation for kicking off the next generation.

Chapter 3.8

Chapter 3.8 – Kicking it up a notch

By the time Irish was old (aka in her fifties), she had achieved her lifetime wish of becoming the greatest five-star chef, ever.  She celebrated by having a lime sorbet, in the company of Admiral the gnome, whom she had stolen from France. Cookie also had something to celebrate.  His graduation, which none of his family appeared to really show any interest in.He was chuffed, however, to find out that one of his cousins (Minty’s daughter), called Megan, was also a ginger.  He had not seen her in years, so had forgotten.   Soon it was Autumn and Coco decided to visit the Harvest Festival.  The rest of the family gave it a miss because they were hooked on the Dexter box set Stacey had got for his birthday.

After a brief look around, Coco decided to try her luck in a pie eating contest.It was the most degrading thing she had ever participated in.And she still lost.She also gave apple bobbing a go.Moments after this picture was taken, Coco almost accidentally drowned.Finally, she braved the haunted house.  It was filled with stairs, slides, mazes, oh and scary things of course.  By the time she had managed the find the exit, it was the next day, and she was absolutely knackered, much to her dismay.  Coco had always seen herself as being ultra fit, so it was a shock to the system.  So, she decided to take up mixed martial arts, since she was a fan of kung-fu movies and the such.  With the use of YouTube videos, and plenty of classes, Coco quickly progressed up the ranks, seemingly gaining a new belt every day.  The spirits of Alice, Ricky and Pippy were so pleased with Coco and her apparent martial arts ability that they even came out to party in the garden, on the night Coco gained her first sparring trophy.Coco was grateful that her ancestors were proud of her.  Since it was apparent she was going to be the heiress for the next generation.She hoped that when it was her time to take over the Bailey legacy that she would not fade in distance once she started her own family, much like Irish had over the last several chapters…

Chapter 3.7

Chapter 3.7 – Bonjour! And all that French stuff

One morning Irish woke up and decided she wanted to go to France, for no actual real reason, it just sounded like a good thing to do.And so she whisked the entire family off to France, except for Tremayne because robots are not allowed to travel on planes, obviously.  Within the month that they stayed in the lands of France, they managed to find a typically dressed French bloke, which the typical French name of Pierre.  Cookie, who had developed an interest in art over the years, from watching his father paint, decided to visit a few art museums.  They were not very fun, but he did meet a French woman called Colette, which is another common French name (at least in French language textbooks at school).Coco enjoyed munching on french crepes.  And Hayley was almost kidnapped by a French creep.Before they knew it their time was up and the Baileys were soon back in sunny Sunlit Tides eating french toast and, in Coco’s case, doing the homework she had neglected whilst living the French lifestyle.  Coco was pleased to receive a visit from Judd, her close friend, and crush, from school.  Since she had soaked in the romantic atmosphere and lingo from France, she did her best to try to flirt with him.However, Coco should have kind of realised that Judd could not speak French, at least not as fluently as her.Not one to give up, Coco decided it was time for Plan B.Sometimes actions just speak louder than words!Meanwhile, Hayley sat in the kitchen, playing a Phantom of the Opera song on her keyboard, like a pro.  Watching as Coco lead Judd into the room, she felt a pang of jealous pinch her chest.Later on, Hayley signed up to matchmaker.org and made it her mission to find a guy on there who was not a pedophile.