A Bailey Legacy

Tis rather delicious

Archive for the tag “Drunk”

Chapter 9.2

Chapter 9.2 – Hen Shower

Tia found out she was pregnant a couple of months after her engagement to Basil.Screenshot-13304She was excited to birth the final baby in the legacy and to marry Basil once the weather was nicer.Screenshot-13319Sadly, things were not all sunshine, lollipops and babies in the Bailey household.   Quite recently Maple had discovered Cory’s extensive collection of alien porn on the household laptop.Screenshot-13297‘I’ve tried getting help,’ Cory explained solemnly, ‘but my addiction is too strong to break!’Screenshot-13298‘It’s always excuses with you,’ Maple hissed, eyebrows furrowing beyond their natural ability.  ‘Sometimes I think I’d be better off without you!’Screenshot-13299Minutes later, Maple’s wish was granted.Screenshot-13323Screenshot-13326‘Yo, you’re dead.’Screenshot-13350‘Woooooo!’ Cory cheered.Screenshot-13347‘Ok, that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting…’Screenshot-13349‘This is sure to make Maple feel guilty for the rest of her days,’ Cory explained, his eyes gleaming with glee.   Screenshot-13346‘You’re not allowed to be happy that you’ve died,’ The Grim Reaper moaned.  ‘Can you at least pretend you don’t want to cross over yet?  I get a bonus for each person who pleads for their life you see, and times have been tough recently…’Screenshot-13341With reluctance, and partly out of the kindness of his still heart, Cory dropped to his knees.  He hoped he would be granted an awesome house in the afterlife for doing this.Screenshot-13353‘Oh please spare me, your Lordship!  I have so much to live for, so much more I want to see, so many more aliens I want to…’Screenshot-13355‘Err, come to think of it, I didn’t actually want to die… Pleeeease don’t….’Screenshot-13357‘Bored now!’ The Grim Reaper announced, before painfully sending Cory off to the afterlife with a swipe of his scythe.Screenshot-13361‘I’m going to feel so guilty for the rest of my days,’ Maple sobbed, whilst Tremayne daydreamed about finding somebody to love.Screenshot-13332And so, the graveyard collection grew once more.Screenshot-13363A few months later, when everyone had forgotten about Cory, Maple organised a baby shower for Tia.Screenshot-13386She invited a small handful of guests, including Almond, Niki, and Christie – the girl who broke Orion’s heart many moons ago. Screenshot-13403Tia was happy she could finally use her mixology skills to make some yummy beverages.Screenshot-13395Non-alcoholic of course, what with being pregnant and all.Screenshot-13401‘Erm, who the hell is he?’ Tia asked when she noticed a stern looking man with pigtails shuffle over to the pizza.    Screenshot-13406‘My name is Brenda,’ the man simply said, which perhaps suggested that he, or she, was going through some kind of gender identification crisis.   Screenshot-13409Still, things started well as they all sat around the table, chatting about the latest developments in their lives.  When the doorbell rang, Tia wondered, as she sat up, when they were going to shower her with presents for the baby.Screenshot-13411When Tia answered the front door, the truth came tumbling in, along with Nicole, Pistachio’s wife.

‘Let’s get ready to paaaartaaaay!’ Screenshot-13422As it turned out, the baby shower was just a cover up so Maple could pull off a surprise hen do for Tia, despite she would not be marrying Basil anytime soon.

‘He’s a mighty fine stripper, isn’t he?’ Nicole announced.  She sunk down into a squat position and stated to pant like dog.Screenshot-13418‘I’d like to get my paws on him!’Screenshot-13420‘I’d better grab the mop and bucket,’ Tia cringed as a puddle started to form on the floor where Nicole was standing.  Screenshot-13407Despite how messed up the situation was, everyone had a great time.Screenshot-13435Except for Tia, of course.  Screenshot-13432Maple even tried her luck with one of the strippers, once he was back in his clothes. Screenshot-13450‘Ever slept with a grandmother before?’Screenshot-13446Screenshot-13451 Maple could not understand why her pick-up did not work.Screenshot-13453Consequently, she drowned her sorrows by drinking one too many margaritas and passed out just before midnight.  Screenshot-13467‘I’m making a sandwich!’ Basil stated since he had not appeared at all in this chapter, and wanted to remind everyone that he was the heir of this generation.Screenshot-13149

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Amaretto on Ice (Part 1)

Amaretto on Ice (Part 1)

I’d always been a hands on kind of girl.  Getting dirty and grubby didn’t matter to me because the end result was more than often satisfactory.Screenshot-2637Since I’d never particularly been a lover of the outdoors.  I preferred to stay inside and read a good work, although I wasn’t as much as a bookworm as my older brother, Murphy, was.   Screenshot-2278I enjoyed computer games too, which I was told made me a bit of a nerd, not that I really cared.Screenshot-2295As for other other labels, well, since I fancied girls I guess that may have made me a lesbian too.  Cade Macklamoor was one of my housemates in the first year of University, and she was quite easily the most stunning girl I had ever met.Screenshot-2452I tried to mask out my feelings for a while, and flirted with one of our male housemates, Stephen Brackney, before I eventually found out that he fancied my sister, Malibu.Screenshot-2446She fancied him too, but from getting to know him I realised he was a bit of a flirt, so I advised Murphy to warn Malibu off him (I could have done it myself, but I knew things are a lot more final coming from your big brother).Screenshot-2447I couldn’t help but look out for my siblings.  My parents weren’t exactly the best role models, being too interested in their own fitness and careers to look after us properly when we were growing up.  Their neglect (and Mum’s abuse) affected Jameson the most.   No wonder why he started drinking whilst he was in high school.  I was happy when he started putting all his ambition into sport, instead of damaging his body.Screenshot-2196Whenever Jameson threw a party during University, I made sure to come along, just to keep an eye on things.  I even ended up volunteering to cook the food for one party, despite I wasn’t exactly a Master Chef, like my Grandmother, Irish, had apparently been.  I was surprised that such a big crowd had turned up, considering it was raining like mad.Screenshot-2395Luckily I didn’t poison anyone with my food, or at least anyone I was aware of.Screenshot-2404By the time the party has reached its peak, Cade had still not made an appearance despite I had openly invited her.  I quickly checked my phone for any missed calls or texts, but the only notification flashing up on the screen was a reminder for me to feed my animals on my virtual zoo game.

With a sigh, I stuffed my phone back into my bag  and headed towards the “juice” keg, where Jameson happened to be.  A few drinks wouldn’t hurt, I decided.Screenshot-2424A few cups later, I soon forgot about my worries as I slid into the delicious warmth of the hot-tub.Screenshot-2420I got home sometime after midnight, my head spinning and soaked to the bone thanks to a mixture of rain water and my idiocy for thinking it would be a grand idea to throw my clothes on top of my wet bikini.

Clambering up the stairs, and somehow managing to make it up without falling back down, I spotted Cade making her way across the landing towards the bathroom.  Talk about convenient timing.

‘Cade! Where have you been?  You missed the best party ever!” I lied, playfully nudging my fist against her arm.  Even to me, my words sounded a bit slurred, so it was a surprise that Cade answered my question without asking me to repeat myself.

‘Sorry, I err, had some studying to do.’Screenshot-2668

Studying?  As if that wasn’t the oldest excuse in the book, my drunken brain managed to convince me.  She had cottoned on to my secret, obviously, and was trying to turn me down in the politeness was possible, the bitch.

‘Oh come on.’  The words poured out from my mouth before I could stop them. ‘Just admit it, you know I’m a dyke… that’s why you didn’t want to come.’

And the words kept gushing out.

‘Shit, I’m an idiot for thinking you would feel the same way….”Screenshot-2664‘Erm… I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink,’ Cade said, or at least I think she did.Screenshot-2665The room started to spin faster, and the I was no longer standing.  The ceiling was the last thing I recall seeing before I blacked out.  Screenshot-2478

Chapter 4.11

Chapter 4.11 – Cats and Alcoholism

To celebrate the triplets transition into teen-hood, Judd and Murphy organised a beach party.  The turnout was not too bad considering Judd had managed to murder half of the island through his negligence during emergency call outs. Screenshot-1578Coco, as always, took an interest in her children and certainly did not spend the entire day reading the same book … Screenshot-1572A few more years slipped by and soon the triplets were budding into mini-adults.  Malibu even developed an orientation trait of the family variety. Screenshot-1630Amaretto inherited her father’s “brave” behaviour she was even capable of using the bathroom after Murphy had been in there to expel food from his system.  Screenshot-1627And Jameson, after years of torment from Coco, gained an immunity to any form of humor, and now took every little bloody thing seriously.Screenshot-1619Anyways, because Coco and Judd thought Malibu was now old and responsible enough, they allowed her to adopt a cat from the local animal shelter.  She picked an adult La Perm whom  she named Mew, short for Mewton Mewingtonworth.Screenshot-1646She was an adorable, playful animal, and Mew enjoyed spending time with her. Screenshot-1692Screenshot-1695As for Amaretto, she was still enthusiastic about inventing things.Screenshot-1677She had always become a bit of DIY expect around the house, fixing all the stuff that Tremayne had not bothered to repair since the start of the third generation.Screenshot-1748Sadly, Jameson had developed a bit of alcohol addiction.  He was often found passed out on the floor before 9pm.Screenshot-1656Judd, being all super fit, did not approve of this. Screenshot-1655It often made him reflect on some of the emergencies he had to handle at work. Screenshot-1657‘Silly woman.  Had to go and get yourself trapped under some rubble, didn’t you?’Screenshot-1737One afternoon, when Jameson returned home from another heavy drinking session, throwing up all over the place, Judd stormed out from the house and marched right up to him.Screenshot-1720‘I will not have an alcoholic son!’ Judd shouted, finally at breaking point from Jameson’s drunken behavior, and the awesome tan he had seemed to have obtained from the recent sunny weather.  ‘It’s so embarrassing, people are laughing at me at the fire-station and everything.’Screenshot-1722‘The hell?  You and mum have never understood me!’ Jameson protested back, his voice a little slurred, before turning away sharply.  ‘Maybe it’ll be better if I just left!’Screenshot-1721‘Yeah, that taught him,’ Judd muttered as he watched Jameson stumble off, luckily not into the path of any oncoming traffic, only towards their nearby drinking hole.Screenshot-1725‘Man, I’m a great parent,’ Judd thought.Screenshot-1724However, Captain Admiral, who was obviously telepathic, did not agree at all.Screenshot-1696

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