A Bailey Legacy

Tis rather delicious

Archive for the tag “Christmas”

Chapter 9.5

Chapter 9.5 Don’t fear the Repo Man

‘So, who thought this legacy had been abandoned like a puppy on boxing day?’ One of the graduation gnomes asked at the latest gnome committee meeting.gnomemeeting
Me
But now things were back on track. Chilli has grown up to be a good looking teenager with a slightly lopsided face. Probably the side-effects of the poison Tia had been feeding him over the years.
Lopsided
Fortunately, surgery rectified that issue.fixed
Chilli often spent time in the hobby room with a chainsaw. Chillichainsaw
For ‘sculpting’ obviously. Nothing to do with the students that seemed to keep disappearing from his school.Totallynotmurderingthem
Somehow he had ended up with a girlfriend as well. Cari Ferris. Her face was a bit pudgy, but overall she was ok looking. closeup
Basil thought he could do a lot better though.
‘Not gonna lie, son, but she is a bit of a butterface.’
daddydontlike
Fortunately, Chilli had no romantic interest in her whatsoever. Or any other girls in general. Cari just had a high tolerance to rohypnol. When she had awoken in his arms whilst he was carrying her upstairs to the hobby room, she had naturally assumed he was taking her up to his room for sexy fun time.
Ever since that day, she had become completely smitten with him.
touchchilli‘Promise you’ll never leave me,’ she would say as she clung onto him for dear life.
hugchillitight
‘I’ll be with you until your dying breath,’ Chilli replied, chillingly.hegonnamurderyou
As for Basil and Tia, they were doing alright. They were still married and committed to one another.
‘We can look just as cute as our son and his girlfriend!’ Tia exclaimed as she attempted to replicate the above screenshot with her hubby.copycats
They were still annoyed at Maple for dying during their wedding, so were constantly thrusting their wedding photos at anyone who dared visit their household, such as the picture below.
weddingcakeisimportant
One evening, Basil was chilling on the bed, waiting for Tia to join him for a bit adult action, when a sinister looking stranger strolled into the room.basilandrepo
‘Honey, when you said you wanted to spice up our marriage, this isn’t what I was expecting!’ Basil called to Tia, who was taking a poo in their en-suite.Poo
It turned out the guy was just the Repo Man and he proceeded to quite rightly take some of their belongings, since they had neglected to pay their bills, despite they could easily afford them. Naturally, he decided to be a dick and announced he would be taking their toilet.
Toiletismine
‘If you must,’ Tia sighed, hopping off the porcelin throne.
tiastopspooping
‘Ugh, on retrospect, you can keep it…’
Ohboy
Bongo then made an entrance, curious as to what all the ruckus was about.
maddoggy
‘Imma steal your dog,’ the repoman, called, say, Ian, decided.
badidea
verybadidea
After Bongo had horrifically heroically torn out Ian’s throat, Chilli eagerly assisted with destroying the rest of the evidence.cleanup
A few weeks later, once they had evaded various police investigations, the Baileys threw a party. The reason for this party is long forgotten since it has been two or more years since these screenshots were taken. Maybe it was someone’s birthday, or maybe Ricky had finally come out of the closet. Who knows.
RickeeehTia was asked not to prepare the food, following their last party where she had served up “invisible cheese platters”.  Orion and Kraig had not approved of this.
alienfam
Fortunately, Fudge turned up and rectified the food situation that day. He had finally graduated to being super-awesome so it seemed.
superawesome
Ricky also helped out.
‘I’m helping!’
rickyfeltleftout1Anyways, it turned out that this party was to actually celebrate Christmas. Cari, being a bit of a gold-digger, was excited to see what Chilli had bought her.
Excitedgirl
Opening the present
In hindsight, perhaps buying her a knife shaped vibrator was not the best of moves. wtfisthis
Still, Chilli was displeased when she dragged him off into the kitchen for a stern word. He pondered taking her upstairs to the hobby room, but decided against it when he realised she would probably just assume he wanted to have sex with her.nosexplease
Fortunately, Chilli’s best friend, Sonny Reeder, was at the party, so things were not too miserable. Sonny was his best friend at school, a dishy young chap with a lovely bone structure. His pale complexion and bright yellow eyes were what jumped out the most, as well as the strange tattoo on his neck. Some people thought he was a vampire, but that was a silly accusation since vampires did not exist.watchthisspace
I mean, in a world of aliens, ghosts and Maple, it seemed like a really stupid concept.toomuchgoingon
Orion accused Sonny of being a tri-hard, a comment which did not go down too well giving the Baileys liking for Stephanie Myers. twilight fans
As Basil stood by the window to try and calm down, he looked over at Chilli, then at Sonny, before turning his attention back to Chilli.sulking
Suddenly, everything clicked into place. Waitasec
This young chap was the true object of Chilli’s affections. Cari was just a cleverly disguised beard.prettyvamp
Secretly, Basil had always wanted a gay son, especially one with a vampire fetish, so he decided to fully support what was to come.
gaysonisok
Basil drank heavily that night. He was too drunk to make it upstairs to bed, so he ended up camping in a sleeping bag on the kitchen floor, because, screw using the sofas in the living room. kitchenkip
He awoke with a start at around 7am.
ohdear
‘Bongo, go get Tia!’ Basil screamed when he realised he was somehow infused with the fibres of the sleeping bag.
thatmusthurt
All in all, it was a pretty standard Bailey party.

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Chapter 9.3

Chapter 9.3 It’s a bit Chilli

Sometime in December, Tia and Basil became parents to a typically tanned Bailey baby.Screenshot-13514The story behind his birth was one rather amusing tale.  Tia had been repairing the bathtub, which Tremayne had broken in a fit of rage after one of his favourite X-Factor contestants had been voted off during the semi-final.Screenshot-13477Ten minutes into tightening up the taps, Tia felt a sharp twinge in her stomach, which caused her to spring to her feet.Screenshot-13488At first she thought she had picked up food poisoning from the leftover pancakes she had licked off a plate that morning, but after a few more minutes, it became apparent this was a very different sort of pain and she started to cry for help.Screenshot-13483Fortunately, Basil heard the commotion from downstairs and rushed up to see what the problem was.

‘Oh my Rod!’ He exclaimed.Screenshot-13493‘Look at all this mess!  I knew we should have got an actual mechanic to come in and…’Screenshot-13491‘Say another word and you die.’Screenshot-13489Chilli was born a delightful twenty-six hours later.  They actually did not intend to name him that. Tia had planned to call him Ash, but unfortunately Basil thought the nurse was asking him what the weather was like outside when she was filling out the birth certificate.Screenshot-13512Still, Chilli was a delightful baby, and Basil was a very smitten father.Screenshot-13574Screenshot-13576Unfortunately, Maple, who had started to develop arthritis and goodness knows what else, was not very good when it came to holding Chilli.Screenshot-13593No matter what she did, she could not quite grasp the concept of holding him correctly. Screenshot-13592‘Oh bother!’ She would sigh whenever she dropped him.  With her still about, it was a miracle he lived beyond the age of two.Screenshot-13594Since it was Christmas time and all, the Baileys decided to throw a party.  Almond and Pistachio even turned up with food, which meant no would have to bother cooking for the next several days.Screenshot-13549It also turned out that Rolo and Niki were expecting their own bundle of joy.  For some reason they had not bothered telling the rest of the family, despite they only lived next door, which also showed how often they saw them.   Screenshot-13554Speaking of rarely seeing people (or robots), Tremayne’s love interest for the past few hundred decades, Dawn, also made an appearance to this party.Screenshot-13558He was desperate to talk to her.Screenshot-13556Sadly, even with Orion’s support, he lacked the confidence to approach her, especially when he heard she was dating yet another elderly rich man, thus he remained sad and lonely for the foreseeable future.  Screenshot-13557In time, Chilli grew up to be a cute toddler, a luxury that still currently went unknown in the Sims 4.Screenshot-13682Tia was a fantastic mother, and even had the genius idea of potty training Chilli outdoors, where the smell would not cause anyone to throw up slightly in their mouths.Screenshot-13685Screenshot-13687Basil also doted on his baby boy, who was practically his clone.Screenshot-13631‘Goodnight Son.  Daddy’s got to go out to work and con people.’Screenshot-13632He still also found the time to dote on Bongo, who had grown up from this…Screenshot-13211…into an awesome big dog.    Screenshot-13675‘If you break into our house, I will eat you.’ Bongo warned.Screenshot-13677

   

Chapter 8.4

Chapter 8.4 Green Affairs

Life with the fridge people did not turn out as anticipated, so Whitney returned to reality and decided to focus on her own flesh and blood.Screenshot-10942This meant disposing of the things which did not fit this criteria.Screenshot-10988Screenshot-10991Fortunately, Tremayne booted up in time before he and Orion were recycled.  After that the two little misfits were inseparable.Screenshot-10951‘Enough of those misfits!  It’s Christmas, let’s partaaaay!’ Maple announced, ruining  the sentimental opening  to this chapter, and terrifying the poor blond guy standing in front of her.Screenshot-10912‘One of those misfits is my son,’ Sunnup said.  She had been invited to the party by Cory as he thought it would be a good idea for Orion to know that Maple was definitely not his mother, and also because Cory hoped he could participate in a bit of alien intercourse.Screenshot-10911Anyways, Maple had also invited a certain someone along to her party; Devon Hoff, the older brother of a guy she had dated during high school, and also one of her fellow work colleagues.Screenshot-10914This guy if you have to know (Morris Hoff).  Sadly he was married with children.Screenshot-10909Devon was not, thus making him a suitable man.
‘So, err, do you like stuff?’Screenshot-10936‘Devon, Maple is depressed with her current life and wants to bang you in attempt to feel better about herself,’ Almond translated.Screenshot-10937‘Erm, I’m not sure if I want that,’ Devon replied.Screenshot-10935‘It’s you or your brother, and in her current state she would definitely sink that low.’Screenshot-10939So, the following night, Maple ended up setting foot into Devon’s flat.Screenshot-10996‘You promise you won’t break up my brother’s family, right?’ Devon asked, body trembling in fear.Screenshot-11001‘As long as you promise to love me and take me away from my prison of a life!’ Maple chirped.Screenshot-10997‘Of course.’Screenshot-10998Spolier: He did not.Screenshot-11000A few months later, Cory was still being a doting father, despite circumstances had changed once more.Screenshot-11034Screenshot-11035Yes indeed, another little bundle of joy was on the way.Screenshot-11046Cory would have been thrilled, if it had not been for the fact he had not made woohoo with Maple for well over a year.Screenshot-11036Because of this, he had a small suspicion that this baby was not his.Screenshot-11038‘Ya think?’ Fudge sighed, before he continued to munch on the rotten food placed before him.Screenshot-11114Classy as ever.

Chapter 5.9

Chapter 5.9- Winter Tails

Frangelico and Cointreau celebrated their leap into childhood a few winters later. Screenshot-4025Screenshot-4075Screenshot-4027Screenshot-4042Even Nina from Chapter 4.12 showed up to celebrate, although as soon as she realised how sexy Jameson had become, she regretted not being wooed by his cat videos and promptly proceeded to sob hysterically on his shoulder.Screenshot-4034She could not be blamed though.  He was more successful than ever, and had even managed to secure a gig at one of the biggest venues on the island.Screenshot-3982 - CopyHe was convinced there was a little something “wooden” about the audience, however.Screenshot-3977 - CopyStill, he didn’t care, and continued to play with fire, much like his grandmother, Irish, had done.Screenshot-3980 - CopyAs for Saffron and Peach, they  were now teenagers and had managed to grow into their noses somewhat.Screenshot-4085Anyways, since it was obviously Christmas, Jameson thought it would be a grand idea to invite all the other Baileys round for an awesome get together.  Even one-legged Paul made an appearance.Screenshot-4054Like father and daughter, Peach and Jameson kept an eye out for anything strange happening, or anyone acting inappropriate.Screenshot-4049Mika, however, questioned their abilities when, just a few hours later, she found a stray dog stood by the Christmas tree.Screenshot-4099The dog then proceeded to chew up all the presents still under the tree, one of which was a rather personal present Jameson had purchased for Mika.Screenshot-4069Turned out that Earl had somehow adopted the dog, named Pooka, from the pound, so naturally she gave him a good telling off.Screenshot-4089Still, they kept Pooka as he looked rather awesome and it had been a while since there had been any pets in the house.     Screenshot-4083Naturally, Earl was a very happy boy, and the evening only got better for him when he had pumpkin pie for dinner.Screenshot-4119Unfortunately, he quickly found out, after a couple of mouthfuls that the pie was no longer in date, so, as he spent the entire night glued to the toilet, he decided that his day had been mediocre, not awesome. 

Chapter 4.7

Chapter 4.7 – But she is the biggest troll of them all

Soon again it was Christmas time, and everyone was just thrilled to wait around for pretty much every Bailey in existence to open up their presents.Screenshot-1261An almost teenage Murphy was very excited to receive a box filled with what appears to be a block of multi-coloured pixels.Screenshot-1260Hayley, on the other hand, actually could not give two shits about what was happening in the other room and decided to Frape Judd, who had forgotten to log out from Facebook on his laptop. Screenshot-1264The triplets had also grown since their last appearance and had naturally gained new interests and traits.  Malibu was now a crazy cat lover, apparently.Screenshot-1292Amaretto was pretty much a spitting image of Coco, but actually cared about the rest of family unlike her mother. Screenshot-1290And Jameson was growing up into a mini version of Judd, and was simply easily impressed by anyone or anything and often stood still and stared into space, much like in this picture.Screenshot-1291Anyways, it turned out that everyone had received Christmas presents, except for poor Tremayne because no one really knew what mechanical beings actually liked, besides scrap metal and oil.  He was contemplating shutting down his own system, until Coco made a very thrilling announcement.

Do not fret Tremayne, I got you the best present ever,’ Coco revealed, her grin as wide as an obese child’s waistline.  ‘Judd and I paid some tramps to build you a luxury mini-house right next to ours!’Screenshot-1282Tremayne’s eyes welled up with tears.  Well, they would have if he had not been a simbot.  Still, his programming convinced him that he was feeling overwhelmed with emotion.’Is it cozy’ Tremayne asked.Screenshot-1283‘Of course it’s cozy!  Go outside, you can see it from the back porch!’  Coco replied, waving a clacker thingy (perhaps not the technical term, but oh well) up in the air, like she just did not care.Screenshot-1281Feeling excitement, Tremayne rushed outside.  His robotic heart churning in anticipation as his eyes scanned across the garden, looking for the personal living area which had been built especially for him.  Then, he saw it…  Slowly, the buzzing in his circuits dissipated.Screenshot-1297And that was the moment when Ricky Bailey realised Coco was a bigger troll than he had ever been.  Boy was he a proud Great-Grandfather!

‘Trololololo!’Screenshot-1280

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