A Bailey Legacy

Tis rather delicious

Archive for the tag “Bongo”

Chapter 9.5

Chapter 9.5 Don’t fear the Repo Man

‘So, who thought this legacy had been abandoned like a puppy on boxing day?’ One of the graduation gnomes asked at the latest gnome committee meeting.gnomemeeting
Me
But now things were back on track. Chilli has grown up to be a good looking teenager with a slightly lopsided face. Probably the side-effects of the poison Tia had been feeding him over the years.
Lopsided
Fortunately, surgery rectified that issue.fixed
Chilli often spent time in the hobby room with a chainsaw. Chillichainsaw
For ‘sculpting’ obviously. Nothing to do with the students that seemed to keep disappearing from his school.Totallynotmurderingthem
Somehow he had ended up with a girlfriend as well. Cari Ferris. Her face was a bit pudgy, but overall she was ok looking. closeup
Basil thought he could do a lot better though.
‘Not gonna lie, son, but she is a bit of a butterface.’
daddydontlike
Fortunately, Chilli had no romantic interest in her whatsoever. Or any other girls in general. Cari just had a high tolerance to rohypnol. When she had awoken in his arms whilst he was carrying her upstairs to the hobby room, she had naturally assumed he was taking her up to his room for sexy fun time.
Ever since that day, she had become completely smitten with him.
touchchilli‘Promise you’ll never leave me,’ she would say as she clung onto him for dear life.
hugchillitight
‘I’ll be with you until your dying breath,’ Chilli replied, chillingly.hegonnamurderyou
As for Basil and Tia, they were doing alright. They were still married and committed to one another.
‘We can look just as cute as our son and his girlfriend!’ Tia exclaimed as she attempted to replicate the above screenshot with her hubby.copycats
They were still annoyed at Maple for dying during their wedding, so were constantly thrusting their wedding photos at anyone who dared visit their household, such as the picture below.
weddingcakeisimportant
One evening, Basil was chilling on the bed, waiting for Tia to join him for a bit adult action, when a sinister looking stranger strolled into the room.basilandrepo
‘Honey, when you said you wanted to spice up our marriage, this isn’t what I was expecting!’ Basil called to Tia, who was taking a poo in their en-suite.Poo
It turned out the guy was just the Repo Man and he proceeded to quite rightly take some of their belongings, since they had neglected to pay their bills, despite they could easily afford them. Naturally, he decided to be a dick and announced he would be taking their toilet.
Toiletismine
‘If you must,’ Tia sighed, hopping off the porcelin throne.
tiastopspooping
‘Ugh, on retrospect, you can keep it…’
Ohboy
Bongo then made an entrance, curious as to what all the ruckus was about.
maddoggy
‘Imma steal your dog,’ the repoman, called, say, Ian, decided.
badidea
verybadidea
After Bongo had horrifically heroically torn out Ian’s throat, Chilli eagerly assisted with destroying the rest of the evidence.cleanup
A few weeks later, once they had evaded various police investigations, the Baileys threw a party. The reason for this party is long forgotten since it has been two or more years since these screenshots were taken. Maybe it was someone’s birthday, or maybe Ricky had finally come out of the closet. Who knows.
RickeeehTia was asked not to prepare the food, following their last party where she had served up “invisible cheese platters”.  Orion and Kraig had not approved of this.
alienfam
Fortunately, Fudge turned up and rectified the food situation that day. He had finally graduated to being super-awesome so it seemed.
superawesome
Ricky also helped out.
‘I’m helping!’
rickyfeltleftout1Anyways, it turned out that this party was to actually celebrate Christmas. Cari, being a bit of a gold-digger, was excited to see what Chilli had bought her.
Excitedgirl
Opening the present
In hindsight, perhaps buying her a knife shaped vibrator was not the best of moves. wtfisthis
Still, Chilli was displeased when she dragged him off into the kitchen for a stern word. He pondered taking her upstairs to the hobby room, but decided against it when he realised she would probably just assume he wanted to have sex with her.nosexplease
Fortunately, Chilli’s best friend, Sonny Reeder, was at the party, so things were not too miserable. Sonny was his best friend at school, a dishy young chap with a lovely bone structure. His pale complexion and bright yellow eyes were what jumped out the most, as well as the strange tattoo on his neck. Some people thought he was a vampire, but that was a silly accusation since vampires did not exist.watchthisspace
I mean, in a world of aliens, ghosts and Maple, it seemed like a really stupid concept.toomuchgoingon
Orion accused Sonny of being a tri-hard, a comment which did not go down too well giving the Baileys liking for Stephanie Myers. twilight fans
As Basil stood by the window to try and calm down, he looked over at Chilli, then at Sonny, before turning his attention back to Chilli.sulking
Suddenly, everything clicked into place. Waitasec
This young chap was the true object of Chilli’s affections. Cari was just a cleverly disguised beard.prettyvamp
Secretly, Basil had always wanted a gay son, especially one with a vampire fetish, so he decided to fully support what was to come.
gaysonisok
Basil drank heavily that night. He was too drunk to make it upstairs to bed, so he ended up camping in a sleeping bag on the kitchen floor, because, screw using the sofas in the living room. kitchenkip
He awoke with a start at around 7am.
ohdear
‘Bongo, go get Tia!’ Basil screamed when he realised he was somehow infused with the fibres of the sleeping bag.
thatmusthurt
All in all, it was a pretty standard Bailey party.

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Chapter 9.4

Chapter 9.4 Worst Wedding Ever

The years went by quickly.  Soon Basil was celebrating some sort of landmark birthday.Screenshot-13920Knowing that there would be cake, Orion and Rolo turned up to celebrate.  Screenshot-13929Their family also tagged along.  Here is a snapshot of Orion’s son, Kraig.  Yes, Orion and Melanie were too cool to name him ‘Craig’.  Screenshot-13952Rolo also had a son, who quite honestly looked a bit gawky.  His name was Irwin though, so what did you expect?Screenshot-13931Chilli enjoyed missing with him, having a sense of humour and all.   Screenshot-13932Oh yes, Chilli had grown up into a cute kid.  No doubt he had inherited the best genetics from his parents.  Would he turn into a good looking teenager?  Only time would tell.Screenshot-13873He also loved baking muffins.Screenshot-13844And he was into painting random things with neon paint.Screenshot-13864They were not the most masculine of activities, but Chilli enjoyed them so that was all that mattered.     Screenshot-13862Despite he thought he son was rather awesome, Basil secretly enjoyed spending time with Bongo more than hanging out with Chilli.Screenshot-13867His career as a thief meant that the police often sniffed around his house, so having a big dog meant that they kept their distance from the house, scared they would get their faces gnawed off.  Screenshot-13870‘Hey, isn’t it about time we got married?’ Tia asked one night, realising that this was Chapter 9.4.

‘I suppose it is,’ Basil agreed, happy to jump at any opportunity where he could dress up like a dapper old penguin.Screenshot-13883And so, a few weeks later, Tia donned her wedding gown – which Basil had stolen from Kate Middleton- and looked forward to finally becoming a Bailey.Screenshot-14005Outside, Rolo thought it would be hilarious to throw a water balloon at Basil’s freshly ironed wedding suit.  Screenshot-14013For a moment, it looked like Basil wanted to punch Rolo in the face, but then he started to laugh hysterically.  Naturally this freaked Rolo out a bit since he was certain he had crossed the line with his butch little brother.Screenshot-14015‘Oh you, always the prankster,’ Basil chuckled.  Rolo started to laugh along, cautiously at first.    Screenshot-14014‘Haha, yeah, that’s me,’ Rolo chortled along, ‘Say, how about we…’

‘Haha… Get out of my house,’ Basil said bluntly. Screenshot-14016Meanwhile, by the buffet table, Maple stood around bored out of her mind.  For once she was not in the limelight, and she had no husband or man in general to make out with to pass the time.Screenshot-14031She pondered what she could do to liven things up and become the center of attention. Screenshot-14032‘I suppose there’s one thing,’ Maple muttered out loud.   Screenshot-14033Screenshot-14035    Screenshot-14038‘Yep, this will work nicely.’Screenshot-14051‘Really?!  It wasn’t even your time,’ The Grim Reaper said. ‘How did you even… You know what, I don’t actually care.’  Screenshot-14062Tia desperately tried to win back the attention of their wedding guests so she could, you know, actually get married to Basil, however, her attempt was in vain sadly.Screenshot-14068‘So, Maple, any last words or requests?’ Old Grimmy asked.      Screenshot-14071‘Well, now that you mention it…’Screenshot-14067THREE HOURS LATER

‘Ok, I’m bored now.’Screenshot-14075 Screenshot-14074  Screenshot-14076And so, Maple was whisked away into her resting place, and the wedding was pretty much over before it had even started.Screenshot-14077‘Only your Grandmother would go to the extremes of dying at a wedding to become the star attraction,’ Tia sighed to Chilli once the commotion had died down.Screenshot-14089‘Indeed. Well done for ruining the day, Maple,’ the Graduation Gnome said, giving her selfish actions a solid thumbs up.     Screenshot-14092‘I’m sure your wedding would have just been generic and boring,’ Chilli replied as he munched on his chilli con carne.  Screenshot-14088Tia made a mental note to poison his pack lunch on Monday.Screenshot-14086

Chapter 9.3

Chapter 9.3 It’s a bit Chilli

Sometime in December, Tia and Basil became parents to a typically tanned Bailey baby.Screenshot-13514The story behind his birth was one rather amusing tale.  Tia had been repairing the bathtub, which Tremayne had broken in a fit of rage after one of his favourite X-Factor contestants had been voted off during the semi-final.Screenshot-13477Ten minutes into tightening up the taps, Tia felt a sharp twinge in her stomach, which caused her to spring to her feet.Screenshot-13488At first she thought she had picked up food poisoning from the leftover pancakes she had licked off a plate that morning, but after a few more minutes, it became apparent this was a very different sort of pain and she started to cry for help.Screenshot-13483Fortunately, Basil heard the commotion from downstairs and rushed up to see what the problem was.

‘Oh my Rod!’ He exclaimed.Screenshot-13493‘Look at all this mess!  I knew we should have got an actual mechanic to come in and…’Screenshot-13491‘Say another word and you die.’Screenshot-13489Chilli was born a delightful twenty-six hours later.  They actually did not intend to name him that. Tia had planned to call him Ash, but unfortunately Basil thought the nurse was asking him what the weather was like outside when she was filling out the birth certificate.Screenshot-13512Still, Chilli was a delightful baby, and Basil was a very smitten father.Screenshot-13574Screenshot-13576Unfortunately, Maple, who had started to develop arthritis and goodness knows what else, was not very good when it came to holding Chilli.Screenshot-13593No matter what she did, she could not quite grasp the concept of holding him correctly. Screenshot-13592‘Oh bother!’ She would sigh whenever she dropped him.  With her still about, it was a miracle he lived beyond the age of two.Screenshot-13594Since it was Christmas time and all, the Baileys decided to throw a party.  Almond and Pistachio even turned up with food, which meant no would have to bother cooking for the next several days.Screenshot-13549It also turned out that Rolo and Niki were expecting their own bundle of joy.  For some reason they had not bothered telling the rest of the family, despite they only lived next door, which also showed how often they saw them.   Screenshot-13554Speaking of rarely seeing people (or robots), Tremayne’s love interest for the past few hundred decades, Dawn, also made an appearance to this party.Screenshot-13558He was desperate to talk to her.Screenshot-13556Sadly, even with Orion’s support, he lacked the confidence to approach her, especially when he heard she was dating yet another elderly rich man, thus he remained sad and lonely for the foreseeable future.  Screenshot-13557In time, Chilli grew up to be a cute toddler, a luxury that still currently went unknown in the Sims 4.Screenshot-13682Tia was a fantastic mother, and even had the genius idea of potty training Chilli outdoors, where the smell would not cause anyone to throw up slightly in their mouths.Screenshot-13685Screenshot-13687Basil also doted on his baby boy, who was practically his clone.Screenshot-13631‘Goodnight Son.  Daddy’s got to go out to work and con people.’Screenshot-13632He still also found the time to dote on Bongo, who had grown up from this…Screenshot-13211…into an awesome big dog.    Screenshot-13675‘If you break into our house, I will eat you.’ Bongo warned.Screenshot-13677

   

Chapter 9.1

Chapter 9.1 – Suck it up

Basil and Tia settled quickly into the next generation.  This had nothing to do with the fact their creator wanted to get the legacy completed as soon as possible.Screenshot-13146Orion had moved out after proposing to Melanie and ensured they ended up in a house on the far side of town so that they could escape from the insanity of the Baileys.Screenshot-12728Shortly after, Rolo and Niki got engaged and had moved out, only to just move into the massive house next door, where Hershey, Twix’s brother, had once lived.Screenshot-13174Oh, and speaking of Twix, he had died soon after Rolo had gone off to University.  The Grim Reaper had offered him lots of cake and science related things in exchange for his physical body and organs.  Naturally it was an offer he couldn’t pass up.Screenshot-11718On the bright side, soon after graduating for Uni, Basil decided to adopt a cute little puppy whom they named Bongo since the Baileys were quite keen on the tropical drink called Um Bongo, which had the most catchiest advert in all of existence.Screenshot-13277Unlike the previous dog owners in this legacy, Basil actually interacted with Bongo on a regular basis.  This kept them both amused for hours, much to Tia’s relief.Screenshot-13216Maple was still alive and kicking.  Bored of being a famous director, she attempted to forge a singing career.Screenshot-13159Sadly, her singing was as bad as her rapping, and Cory made his opinion on this matter very clear.Screenshot-13163‘You suck!’Screenshot-13161As for Tremayne, the ever neglected running joke of the legacy, he tried to prove himself useful by becoming Tia’s personal trainer.  It did make sense since she was eager to become an astronaut, just like he had been for the last few hundred years.  Screenshot-13165‘This weight is too heavy!’ Tia screamed as her muscles started to break and snap under the strain of the iron. It was clear that Tremayne still did not understand that humans were unable to lift as much as a robot.Screenshot-13166‘Suck it up, Princess!’ Tremayne replied, before upping the kilograms once more.   Screenshot-13167Once Tia had recovered from her horrific injuries, Basil decided to take her out for a lovely romantic meal, partly in the hope he would get some woohoo later on, but mainly to help with speeding the final generation on slightly.Screenshot-13217And so, after their delicious noms, they danced randomly on the rooftop terrace to some fancy 1950s music.Screenshot-13230When Basil suddenly dropped to one knee, Tia was concerned thinking he had sprained his leg whilst they had been doing ‘the twist’.Screenshot-13234Basil then whipped it out.  Then, he tugged a jewelry box out from his pocket  and flicked it open.Screenshot-13253‘Let’s get married and make a beautiful child.  Perhaps not quite in that order since winter is coming and we don’t want to copy my mum by having a winter wedding!’Screenshot-13256‘Yey!’ Was all Tia could say, overwhelmed at the prospect of marrying into an ultra rich family.  Not that she was a gold digger or anything…Screenshot-13255Thus, Basil fixed the ring onto Tia’s finger so she could never remove it, or leave him against his will.Screenshot-13260‘So shiny!’Screenshot-13268And, like with all the other previous proposals over the last several generations, the couple fell into a warm and loving embrace, relishing the last few moments where they would not want to kill each other.Screenshot-13270Screenshot-13272

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