A Bailey Legacy

Tis rather delicious

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Chapter 9.5

Chapter 9.5 Don’t fear the Repo Man

‘So, who thought this legacy had been abandoned like a puppy on boxing day?’ One of the graduation gnomes asked at the latest gnome committee meeting.gnomemeeting
Me
But now things were back on track. Chilli has grown up to be a good looking teenager with a slightly lopsided face. Probably the side-effects of the poison Tia had been feeding him over the years.
Lopsided
Fortunately, surgery rectified that issue.fixed
Chilli often spent time in the hobby room with a chainsaw. Chillichainsaw
For ‘sculpting’ obviously. Nothing to do with the students that seemed to keep disappearing from his school.Totallynotmurderingthem
Somehow he had ended up with a girlfriend as well. Cari Ferris. Her face was a bit pudgy, but overall she was ok looking. closeup
Basil thought he could do a lot better though.
‘Not gonna lie, son, but she is a bit of a butterface.’
daddydontlike
Fortunately, Chilli had no romantic interest in her whatsoever. Or any other girls in general. Cari just had a high tolerance to rohypnol. When she had awoken in his arms whilst he was carrying her upstairs to the hobby room, she had naturally assumed he was taking her up to his room for sexy fun time.
Ever since that day, she had become completely smitten with him.
touchchilli‘Promise you’ll never leave me,’ she would say as she clung onto him for dear life.
hugchillitight
‘I’ll be with you until your dying breath,’ Chilli replied, chillingly.hegonnamurderyou
As for Basil and Tia, they were doing alright. They were still married and committed to one another.
‘We can look just as cute as our son and his girlfriend!’ Tia exclaimed as she attempted to replicate the above screenshot with her hubby.copycats
They were still annoyed at Maple for dying during their wedding, so were constantly thrusting their wedding photos at anyone who dared visit their household, such as the picture below.
weddingcakeisimportant
One evening, Basil was chilling on the bed, waiting for Tia to join him for a bit adult action, when a sinister looking stranger strolled into the room.basilandrepo
‘Honey, when you said you wanted to spice up our marriage, this isn’t what I was expecting!’ Basil called to Tia, who was taking a poo in their en-suite.Poo
It turned out the guy was just the Repo Man and he proceeded to quite rightly take some of their belongings, since they had neglected to pay their bills, despite they could easily afford them. Naturally, he decided to be a dick and announced he would be taking their toilet.
Toiletismine
‘If you must,’ Tia sighed, hopping off the porcelin throne.
tiastopspooping
‘Ugh, on retrospect, you can keep it…’
Ohboy
Bongo then made an entrance, curious as to what all the ruckus was about.
maddoggy
‘Imma steal your dog,’ the repoman, called, say, Ian, decided.
badidea
verybadidea
After Bongo had horrifically heroically torn out Ian’s throat, Chilli eagerly assisted with destroying the rest of the evidence.cleanup
A few weeks later, once they had evaded various police investigations, the Baileys threw a party. The reason for this party is long forgotten since it has been two or more years since these screenshots were taken. Maybe it was someone’s birthday, or maybe Ricky had finally come out of the closet. Who knows.
RickeeehTia was asked not to prepare the food, following their last party where she had served up “invisible cheese platters”.  Orion and Kraig had not approved of this.
alienfam
Fortunately, Fudge turned up and rectified the food situation that day. He had finally graduated to being super-awesome so it seemed.
superawesome
Ricky also helped out.
‘I’m helping!’
rickyfeltleftout1Anyways, it turned out that this party was to actually celebrate Christmas. Cari, being a bit of a gold-digger, was excited to see what Chilli had bought her.
Excitedgirl
Opening the present
In hindsight, perhaps buying her a knife shaped vibrator was not the best of moves. wtfisthis
Still, Chilli was displeased when she dragged him off into the kitchen for a stern word. He pondered taking her upstairs to the hobby room, but decided against it when he realised she would probably just assume he wanted to have sex with her.nosexplease
Fortunately, Chilli’s best friend, Sonny Reeder, was at the party, so things were not too miserable. Sonny was his best friend at school, a dishy young chap with a lovely bone structure. His pale complexion and bright yellow eyes were what jumped out the most, as well as the strange tattoo on his neck. Some people thought he was a vampire, but that was a silly accusation since vampires did not exist.watchthisspace
I mean, in a world of aliens, ghosts and Maple, it seemed like a really stupid concept.toomuchgoingon
Orion accused Sonny of being a tri-hard, a comment which did not go down too well giving the Baileys liking for Stephanie Myers. twilight fans
As Basil stood by the window to try and calm down, he looked over at Chilli, then at Sonny, before turning his attention back to Chilli.sulking
Suddenly, everything clicked into place. Waitasec
This young chap was the true object of Chilli’s affections. Cari was just a cleverly disguised beard.prettyvamp
Secretly, Basil had always wanted a gay son, especially one with a vampire fetish, so he decided to fully support what was to come.
gaysonisok
Basil drank heavily that night. He was too drunk to make it upstairs to bed, so he ended up camping in a sleeping bag on the kitchen floor, because, screw using the sofas in the living room. kitchenkip
He awoke with a start at around 7am.
ohdear
‘Bongo, go get Tia!’ Basil screamed when he realised he was somehow infused with the fibres of the sleeping bag.
thatmusthurt
All in all, it was a pretty standard Bailey party.

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Chapter 9.4

Chapter 9.4 Worst Wedding Ever

The years went by quickly.  Soon Basil was celebrating some sort of landmark birthday.Screenshot-13920Knowing that there would be cake, Orion and Rolo turned up to celebrate.  Screenshot-13929Their family also tagged along.  Here is a snapshot of Orion’s son, Kraig.  Yes, Orion and Melanie were too cool to name him ‘Craig’.  Screenshot-13952Rolo also had a son, who quite honestly looked a bit gawky.  His name was Irwin though, so what did you expect?Screenshot-13931Chilli enjoyed missing with him, having a sense of humour and all.   Screenshot-13932Oh yes, Chilli had grown up into a cute kid.  No doubt he had inherited the best genetics from his parents.  Would he turn into a good looking teenager?  Only time would tell.Screenshot-13873He also loved baking muffins.Screenshot-13844And he was into painting random things with neon paint.Screenshot-13864They were not the most masculine of activities, but Chilli enjoyed them so that was all that mattered.     Screenshot-13862Despite he thought he son was rather awesome, Basil secretly enjoyed spending time with Bongo more than hanging out with Chilli.Screenshot-13867His career as a thief meant that the police often sniffed around his house, so having a big dog meant that they kept their distance from the house, scared they would get their faces gnawed off.  Screenshot-13870‘Hey, isn’t it about time we got married?’ Tia asked one night, realising that this was Chapter 9.4.

‘I suppose it is,’ Basil agreed, happy to jump at any opportunity where he could dress up like a dapper old penguin.Screenshot-13883And so, a few weeks later, Tia donned her wedding gown – which Basil had stolen from Kate Middleton- and looked forward to finally becoming a Bailey.Screenshot-14005Outside, Rolo thought it would be hilarious to throw a water balloon at Basil’s freshly ironed wedding suit.  Screenshot-14013For a moment, it looked like Basil wanted to punch Rolo in the face, but then he started to laugh hysterically.  Naturally this freaked Rolo out a bit since he was certain he had crossed the line with his butch little brother.Screenshot-14015‘Oh you, always the prankster,’ Basil chuckled.  Rolo started to laugh along, cautiously at first.    Screenshot-14014‘Haha, yeah, that’s me,’ Rolo chortled along, ‘Say, how about we…’

‘Haha… Get out of my house,’ Basil said bluntly. Screenshot-14016Meanwhile, by the buffet table, Maple stood around bored out of her mind.  For once she was not in the limelight, and she had no husband or man in general to make out with to pass the time.Screenshot-14031She pondered what she could do to liven things up and become the center of attention. Screenshot-14032‘I suppose there’s one thing,’ Maple muttered out loud.   Screenshot-14033Screenshot-14035    Screenshot-14038‘Yep, this will work nicely.’Screenshot-14051‘Really?!  It wasn’t even your time,’ The Grim Reaper said. ‘How did you even… You know what, I don’t actually care.’  Screenshot-14062Tia desperately tried to win back the attention of their wedding guests so she could, you know, actually get married to Basil, however, her attempt was in vain sadly.Screenshot-14068‘So, Maple, any last words or requests?’ Old Grimmy asked.      Screenshot-14071‘Well, now that you mention it…’Screenshot-14067THREE HOURS LATER

‘Ok, I’m bored now.’Screenshot-14075 Screenshot-14074  Screenshot-14076And so, Maple was whisked away into her resting place, and the wedding was pretty much over before it had even started.Screenshot-14077‘Only your Grandmother would go to the extremes of dying at a wedding to become the star attraction,’ Tia sighed to Chilli once the commotion had died down.Screenshot-14089‘Indeed. Well done for ruining the day, Maple,’ the Graduation Gnome said, giving her selfish actions a solid thumbs up.     Screenshot-14092‘I’m sure your wedding would have just been generic and boring,’ Chilli replied as he munched on his chilli con carne.  Screenshot-14088Tia made a mental note to poison his pack lunch on Monday.Screenshot-14086

Chapter 9.3

Chapter 9.3 It’s a bit Chilli

Sometime in December, Tia and Basil became parents to a typically tanned Bailey baby.Screenshot-13514The story behind his birth was one rather amusing tale.  Tia had been repairing the bathtub, which Tremayne had broken in a fit of rage after one of his favourite X-Factor contestants had been voted off during the semi-final.Screenshot-13477Ten minutes into tightening up the taps, Tia felt a sharp twinge in her stomach, which caused her to spring to her feet.Screenshot-13488At first she thought she had picked up food poisoning from the leftover pancakes she had licked off a plate that morning, but after a few more minutes, it became apparent this was a very different sort of pain and she started to cry for help.Screenshot-13483Fortunately, Basil heard the commotion from downstairs and rushed up to see what the problem was.

‘Oh my Rod!’ He exclaimed.Screenshot-13493‘Look at all this mess!  I knew we should have got an actual mechanic to come in and…’Screenshot-13491‘Say another word and you die.’Screenshot-13489Chilli was born a delightful twenty-six hours later.  They actually did not intend to name him that. Tia had planned to call him Ash, but unfortunately Basil thought the nurse was asking him what the weather was like outside when she was filling out the birth certificate.Screenshot-13512Still, Chilli was a delightful baby, and Basil was a very smitten father.Screenshot-13574Screenshot-13576Unfortunately, Maple, who had started to develop arthritis and goodness knows what else, was not very good when it came to holding Chilli.Screenshot-13593No matter what she did, she could not quite grasp the concept of holding him correctly. Screenshot-13592‘Oh bother!’ She would sigh whenever she dropped him.  With her still about, it was a miracle he lived beyond the age of two.Screenshot-13594Since it was Christmas time and all, the Baileys decided to throw a party.  Almond and Pistachio even turned up with food, which meant no would have to bother cooking for the next several days.Screenshot-13549It also turned out that Rolo and Niki were expecting their own bundle of joy.  For some reason they had not bothered telling the rest of the family, despite they only lived next door, which also showed how often they saw them.   Screenshot-13554Speaking of rarely seeing people (or robots), Tremayne’s love interest for the past few hundred decades, Dawn, also made an appearance to this party.Screenshot-13558He was desperate to talk to her.Screenshot-13556Sadly, even with Orion’s support, he lacked the confidence to approach her, especially when he heard she was dating yet another elderly rich man, thus he remained sad and lonely for the foreseeable future.  Screenshot-13557In time, Chilli grew up to be a cute toddler, a luxury that still currently went unknown in the Sims 4.Screenshot-13682Tia was a fantastic mother, and even had the genius idea of potty training Chilli outdoors, where the smell would not cause anyone to throw up slightly in their mouths.Screenshot-13685Screenshot-13687Basil also doted on his baby boy, who was practically his clone.Screenshot-13631‘Goodnight Son.  Daddy’s got to go out to work and con people.’Screenshot-13632He still also found the time to dote on Bongo, who had grown up from this…Screenshot-13211…into an awesome big dog.    Screenshot-13675‘If you break into our house, I will eat you.’ Bongo warned.Screenshot-13677

   

Chapter 9.1

Chapter 9.1 – Suck it up

Basil and Tia settled quickly into the next generation.  This had nothing to do with the fact their creator wanted to get the legacy completed as soon as possible.Screenshot-13146Orion had moved out after proposing to Melanie and ensured they ended up in a house on the far side of town so that they could escape from the insanity of the Baileys.Screenshot-12728Shortly after, Rolo and Niki got engaged and had moved out, only to just move into the massive house next door, where Hershey, Twix’s brother, had once lived.Screenshot-13174Oh, and speaking of Twix, he had died soon after Rolo had gone off to University.  The Grim Reaper had offered him lots of cake and science related things in exchange for his physical body and organs.  Naturally it was an offer he couldn’t pass up.Screenshot-11718On the bright side, soon after graduating for Uni, Basil decided to adopt a cute little puppy whom they named Bongo since the Baileys were quite keen on the tropical drink called Um Bongo, which had the most catchiest advert in all of existence.Screenshot-13277Unlike the previous dog owners in this legacy, Basil actually interacted with Bongo on a regular basis.  This kept them both amused for hours, much to Tia’s relief.Screenshot-13216Maple was still alive and kicking.  Bored of being a famous director, she attempted to forge a singing career.Screenshot-13159Sadly, her singing was as bad as her rapping, and Cory made his opinion on this matter very clear.Screenshot-13163‘You suck!’Screenshot-13161As for Tremayne, the ever neglected running joke of the legacy, he tried to prove himself useful by becoming Tia’s personal trainer.  It did make sense since she was eager to become an astronaut, just like he had been for the last few hundred years.  Screenshot-13165‘This weight is too heavy!’ Tia screamed as her muscles started to break and snap under the strain of the iron. It was clear that Tremayne still did not understand that humans were unable to lift as much as a robot.Screenshot-13166‘Suck it up, Princess!’ Tremayne replied, before upping the kilograms once more.   Screenshot-13167Once Tia had recovered from her horrific injuries, Basil decided to take her out for a lovely romantic meal, partly in the hope he would get some woohoo later on, but mainly to help with speeding the final generation on slightly.Screenshot-13217And so, after their delicious noms, they danced randomly on the rooftop terrace to some fancy 1950s music.Screenshot-13230When Basil suddenly dropped to one knee, Tia was concerned thinking he had sprained his leg whilst they had been doing ‘the twist’.Screenshot-13234Basil then whipped it out.  Then, he tugged a jewelry box out from his pocket  and flicked it open.Screenshot-13253‘Let’s get married and make a beautiful child.  Perhaps not quite in that order since winter is coming and we don’t want to copy my mum by having a winter wedding!’Screenshot-13256‘Yey!’ Was all Tia could say, overwhelmed at the prospect of marrying into an ultra rich family.  Not that she was a gold digger or anything…Screenshot-13255Thus, Basil fixed the ring onto Tia’s finger so she could never remove it, or leave him against his will.Screenshot-13260‘So shiny!’Screenshot-13268And, like with all the other previous proposals over the last several generations, the couple fell into a warm and loving embrace, relishing the last few moments where they would not want to kill each other.Screenshot-13270Screenshot-13272

Result Time – Generation 9

Result Time – Generation 9

Thanks to all those that took the time to vote!  The results are in, and I am pleased to reveal that your King and Queen for the final generation will be Basil and Tia!

Gen 9 Voting Results - big

Basil Bailey and Tia Aquino Voting Pic

This will commence in the next week or two, so please stay tuned 🙂

Razzle Basil (Part 2)

Razzle Basil (Part 2)

Up until my final year at University, I had never been in a fight in my entire life.Screenshot-12975It’s amazing how quickly that can change, particularly when a guy tries to hit on your girlfriend. Old Scott wasn’t expecting me to confront him inside the Student Union.  I suppose that’s why he almost wet himself.Screenshot-12977‘You didn’t have to do it,’ Tia sighed as she messily chewed on her spag bol. ‘I handled myself pretty well when he tried to chat me up.’Screenshot-13097I almost choked on my own plate of food (thankfully I had just swallowed the final mouthful).

‘Tia, the creep tried to grope you!’Screenshot-13093‘You’re not worth the effort,’ Scott had said, when I had requested he fight me then and there. ‘Tia deserves a better man, you know?’Screenshot-12988As he turned his back on me, I saw red.  The next I knew, I was grappling with him, trying my hardest to place my hands around his stupid neck.  He fought back, hard.Screenshot-12979He made a valiant effort to defend himself, until my knee drove heavily into his lower back.  There was a sharp cracking sound, followed by a howl of pain.Screenshot-12984Whatever I had caused him, I hoped it had inflicted some lasting damage.Screenshot-12983‘I don’t like it when you’re aggressive, even if its just to protect me,’ Tia revealed.  I arched my eyebrows in confusion.

‘Then how do you suggest I fight off the men who try and touch you up?’ I asked.Screenshot-13096‘You don’t need to.  I had already dealt with him with a swift kick to the meat and two veg.’Screenshot-13098Naturally, we threw a rocking masquerade party to celebrate that revelation.Screenshot-13039In all honesty, despite I was obviously amazed that Tia was a kickass young lady, I was secretly impressed that I had got away with almost breaking someone’s back.  I would have assumed that kind of behaviour could have got me kicked out of University, or worse, thrown in jail.  It made me think that I could perhaps get away with a bit more than that in the future.Screenshot-13032Our final results came around quicker than I anticipated.Screenshot-13107I ended up scraping my way through with a 2:1.Screenshot-13110Tia was surprised she had achieved a 2:2, despite she had flunked her final few assignments (it turned out that a Technology degree is hard as balls).Screenshot-13112She was so eager to receive her diploma that she forgot to wear her cap and gown on the big day. Screenshot-13123I was polite enough to lend her my gown when she inevitably became cold.Screenshot-13131‘Where do we go from here?’ Tia asked later that day, when we were sitting in the snow, freezing our arses off.Screenshot-13099‘Well…’ I slid closer to her side.  I tilted my head up to the sky, her eyes following suit.

‘The world is ours to do as we please.  Let’s make a difference.’Screenshot-13100And also see what other crimes we can get away with…  My thoughts whispered.

 

 

 

 

Voting Time – Generation 9

Voting Time – Generation 9

Ok, so, the principal is the same, only you guys shall be voting for your favourite couple, rather than just the individual gen 9 Bailey boys.  I’ll keep this poll up and running until next Saturday (3rd January 2015).  Good luck 🙂

Rolo Bailey and Niki Natalis Voting Pic

Rolo & Niki

1) We have known each other since we were kids, thus we will make a great role model for our child (aka. the 10th gen baby).

2) We could also have a dark skinned baby with red hair, which would be hilarious in all honesty.

3) We will promise you lots of parties and general craziness.

Basil Bailey and Tia Aquino Voting Pic

Basil & Tia

1) We wish to defy Pistachio’s prediction that Rolo will become heir.

2) We have great genetics, and awesome traits.

3) Expect lots of pizza and theft.  What more could anyone want?

 

Roly Poly (Part 2)

Roly Poly (Part 2)

Throughout Uni, Niki and I remained as strong as ever.Screenshot-12257 We often got scolded at by our roommates for frolicking about in the bathroom. Screenshot-12254Orion was one of these people, that was until he suddenly gained an interest in his physical fitness after he had struggled to unscrew a jar of pickles one evening (Niki had to assist him).  After that he was always either in the gym, or at the Student Union studying.Screenshot-12252After my experience with Elvis, I had distanced myself from making any real friends. Niki had become good friends with Tiffany, a sweet, but sometimes air-headed girl from her course.  She was a pro when it came to pulling off the duck face.  Orion and I quickly warmed to her.  Screenshot-12273Before long, the four of us started hanging out together to eat or study in the brightly coloured dorm kitchen.  Screenshot-12331‘What are you cooking for us tomorrow, Rolo?’ Tiffany asked, cradling a greasy slice of leftover pizza in her hand.  We had a cooking arrangement, which pretty much no one ever stuck to, apart from me and Orion.Screenshot-12338‘I’m not sure Tiff, perhaps you should consider cooking us up something for once,’ I half-joked.Screenshot-12336‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ Orion promptly reminded everyone.Screenshot-12332A few months back, I had been sitting indoors with the others, catching up on some coursework when Tiffany poked her head around the kitchen door and said nervously that she was having trouble with grilling the hot-dogs on the BBQ outside.

Thinking she was merely having issues with switching on the grill, I followed her outside.  Unfortunately, the problem was far worse than I anticipated.Screenshot-12451‘How did you manage to catch the bloody BBQ on fire?’ I asked, not impressed.   I had no idea such a feat was possible, especially with an electric grill.  As it turned out, she had added fuel to the base of the BBQ, then had lit it up with a lighter.      Screenshot-12433The flames continued to burn out of control.  Tiffany had the cheek to faint on me whilst  I tried to extinguish them.  Fortunately, no one died, so all was well.Screenshot-12454Of course it meant I was the one stuck with making dinner that night, since Tiffany was feeling too “woozy”.Screenshot-12455‘I think Niki should cook for once,’ Orion decided as he chewed contently on his pizza slice.Screenshot-12339If you want me to end up poisoning everyone, then sure,’ Niki laughed, not even looking up from her tablet.Screenshot-12347The following day, Niki and I were playing beer pong in the communal garden.  We clearly had nothing better to do with ourselves.Screenshot-12405‘Graduation’s only a few weeks away.  We need to throw a party to celebrate, see everyone off in style!’ Niki decided. Somehow, that girl could be more of a party animal than me.  Screenshot-12403‘I think you’re forgetting that I was almost arrested the last time we threw a huge party, Niki…’Screenshot-12406Yes indeed, that had been an interesting night.Screenshot-12399Mr. Officer clearly hadn’t been a fan of our music.Screenshot-12398We ended up being fined, and the party flopped like a fish out of water.Screenshot-12390‘That was hiliarious,’ Niki laughed. ‘Come on though, I think that only had something to do with us blasting One Direction at ear-splitting volume.  It won’t happen again, especially if you provide the entertainment with your guitar instead.’   Screenshot-12404Alas, I threw in the towel and decided one more party wouldn’t hurt, particularly to celebrate the end of our exams and coursework.Screenshot-12462I put my guitar skills to good use that night.  And no, I didn’t get arrested, sorry to disappointment anyone.Screenshot-12464Graduation day rocked by too quickly.  Somehow, I passed my degree with a 2:1.Screenshot-12540Screenshot-12536It was a very emotional day.Screenshot-12541Obviously, Orion ended up with a first.Screenshot-12532As did Niki, the smart alec.Screenshot-12543I was very proud of her, and elated we could finally return home and start our own legacy.  Preferably under the same roof I had grown up in.Screenshot-12550Sadly, with my brain-box half-brother, Basil, to compete with, I knew it wouldn’t be easy.  Screenshot-12552

Roly Poly (Part 1)

Roly Poly (Part 1)

I never particularly wanted to go off to University.Screenshot-11989My life ambitions were already pretty clear; become an awesome composer and make a fortune doing something I loved.Screenshot-11965When Orion, my alien half-brother, and my girlfriend, Niki, announced their plans to go off to Sim State University and study, I felt like I had no choice but to join them.Screenshot-11984Naturally, I was worried about Orion settling in. I thought he would get bullied, what with being half-alien and all.Screenshot-12049Turned out everyone loved him and his quirky sense of humour.  He soon became more popular than I ever would.Screenshot-12019Screenshot-12016Screenshot-12017Good for him, I thought.Screenshot-12018The weeks rolled by.  Niki became buried in her business degree.  She had plans to start her own online empire, just to prove she wasn’t just a pretty face.Screenshot-12142As for me, I spent most my time playing computer games.  Hell, I was doing a Fine Arts degree!  I didn’t think it required much effort.  Screenshot-12153One evening, after a pretty hefty gaming session, I caught two of my room mates, Bobby Butler and Clark Gant, having a sneaky smooch in the kitchen. Screenshot-12099‘About time you two got together,’ I said.  In truth, it was clear from day one that they had the hots for each other, which I personally found endearing.Screenshot-12098Unfortunately, not everyone shared the same views.  It was a shame that one of these people turned out to be my friend at the time, Elvis.Screenshot-12091Screenshot-12092‘I can’t believe those two queers,’ Elvis sneered as he dug into his dinner. ‘I’m still feeling queasy just thinking about them playing tonsil tennis.’Screenshot-12106At first I was shocked; a natural reaction to someone who you thought wasn’t a twat when it came to these things.  That’s why, to begin with, I thought, or rather hoped he was pulling a really tasteless joke.Screenshot-12105‘Relax, it’s not as if they were kissing you.’Screenshot-12108‘They might have well been; they were practically stood right next to me!’ His reply was reassurance that he was not joking around.  This was the real deal.Screenshot-12112‘I find it amusing that you’re so accepting of my brother, yet you can’t stand the sight of two men kissing,’ I explained, doing my best to keep a straight face.Screenshot-12110‘Being gay is a completely different matter,’ Elvis retorted, his voice sharp.  ‘It’s not as if your brother chose to be an alien.’Screenshot-12114By that point, I was done.  To refrain from throwing my plate into his face, I stood up.Screenshot-12115‘Come on, Rolo, you know it’s true,’ Elvis said, shoveling another mouthful of carbonara into his vile little mouth. ‘ You chose to be with Niki, didn’t you?’Screenshot-12109I didn’t answer him as, by that point, I had already walked away.  There was no point trying to convince him otherwise; he was too stuck in his ways.Screenshot-12117I apologised to Clark on Elvis’s behalf.  He had still been in the kitchen at the time of Elvis’s outburst.Screenshot-12229‘You have nothing to be sorry about!’ Was Clark’s response, horrified that I had felt the need to track him down in the science labs just to say what I felt was needed.Screenshot-12223‘No, I owe it to you. I associated myself with him.’Screenshot-12224‘And you ditched him as soon as you realised he was a dick,’ Clark said, before I could continue my speech.  ‘That’s good enough in my books.’Screenshot-12230I was glad that Clark didn’t seem all that fazed by what had happened in the kitchen. Still, it really pissed me off how narrow minded Elvis was.  The fact that he was the same age as me made it worse; I thought our generation had evolved past all that immature bullshit.  It also annoyed me that I had to compile a sketchbook for one of my degree units.  How was that meant to help me become a successful composer?Screenshot-12132I soon learnt the hard way that it wasn’t. Despite my confidence, I didn’t do as well as I anticipated when it came to exam time.Screenshot-12183As for Niki, well, naturally she smashed her exams.Screenshot-12185‘You need to buckle up and study harder next term,’ she lectured.  She never did want to be with a waster.  I doubt I would have even gone to Uni without her encouragement.Screenshot-12053Determined to do her and the Bailey name proud, I decided I couldn’t rely on the nature of my degree.  I had to go out there and earn it.Screenshot-12054

Chapter 8.8

Chapter 8.8 Nice day for a white wedding

Maple and Cory decided to throw a winter wedding in their backyard, just to be different.  Being insanely rich, they were able to afford ice sculpted chairs and a cute DJ called Tom.Screenshot-11572To Maple’s annoyance, the paparazzi also made an appearance since she was a Z list celebrity in the media world.  Fortunately, she had a way to deal with such inconveniences.

‘Hmm, that’s funny,’ Maple spoke out loud, ‘I don’t remembering hiring a chubby and persistently annoying photographer for the wedding.’Screenshot-11564‘Bitch’Screenshot-11560Soon, the official photographer turned up, just in the nick of time for the happy couple to exchange vows and what not.Screenshot-11598As it turned out, Maple was not very photogenic.Screenshot-11595Yet Cory was.Screenshot-11599For this reason, Maple favoured the long distant shots, and the ones where she was not gawping like a demented pitbull.Screenshot-11600During the ceremony, Pistachio was, perhaps, a little bit too emotional.Screenshot-11593No one, apart from his wife (Nicole), found it endearing.Screenshot-11615‘Now we’re married, I guess this means you’re gonna start nagging me more often now,’ Cory joked.

Maple stared him down into a deathly silence.Screenshot-11580He then quickly kissed her before she could ask for a divorce.Screenshot-11606Screenshot-11614‘Cake time!’ Maple enthused, and quite rightly so.Screenshot-11621-editScreenshot-11622-editMaple was quite happily about to dig into her scrumptious slice of wedding cake, until Devon Hoff made his way over to her table, balancing his own equally slice of awesomeness on his old arthritic hand.Screenshot-11629-editMaple did her best to ignore him as he stood there, but he soon enough spoke up.Screenshot-11628-edit‘Room for one more?’ He asked, eyes hopeful.Screenshot-11626-editScreenshot-11627-edit‘Give it time, she’ll come running back to me,’ Devon confidently said, five minutes later, sat at a completely different table.Screenshot-11631-edit‘Sorry, old man,’ Almond asked, her mouth filled with delicious moist cake, ‘did you say something?’Screenshot-11630-editMeanwhile, since the DJ had decided to up and leave before the party was even over, the ever musically talented Rolo had taken over.Screenshot-11633-edit‘I’m making musics!’Screenshot-11635-editNow, it was a common misconception that aliens unitentionally invented dub-step when they first attempted to make contact with humans.  Naturally this was not the case, and as soon discovered, this type of “music” played at exceedingly high volumes was very damaging to an alien’s eardrums, and thus resulted in Orion passing out and almost freezing to death in the snow.Screenshot-11642-editFortunately, Tremayne had come outside to show off his new lover: the hairdryer.Screenshot-11643-edit‘Suppose I’d better do the just thing…’ Tremayne sighed, and proceeded to thaw Orion with Brenda the hairdryer.Screenshot-11644-editMinutes later, Orion had been defrosted.  Tremayne cheered for joy, well, until Orion snatched the hairdryer out from his hand, tossed it into the pool and swore at Tremayne for burning his perfect alien complexion, before marching off.Screenshot-11647-edit‘Why do I even bother?’ Tremayne sighed, then decided to head on inside for a piping hot shower.Screenshot-11648-editThat night, several guests decided to stay over, and by stay over, I mean they basically decided to stand on the front porch and wet themselves because they had temporarily lost the ability to navigate themselves down a straight path and leave the property through an open gate. Pistachio was one of these people, which was why he was a bit stinky the following morning.

After breakfast, he approached Rolo, who was about to practice his mad skills on the DJ booth.Screenshot-11650‘Soon the time will come for Maple to pass the legacy down to someone, and personally, I think you’re best suited,’ Pistachio confessed.  In all honesty, he did not entirely feel this way and just fancied witnessing a bit of drama between his nephews.

‘Couldn’t agree with you anymore, Unc,’ Rolo replied, finally glad that someone had recognised his great potential.  ‘Basil may be a smart guy, but he does have a tendency to steal things at times; not particularly a positive role model for the next generation, right?’Screenshot-11649They continued to bitch about Basil until Rolo eventually noticed that his younger brother had in fact been standing right by them for the entirety of their private conversation, which made things a little bit awkward.Screenshot-11651Naturally, this gave Basil the incentive to prove he could be a just a worthy heir as Rolo could be.  He already had some pretty good traits, minus his kleptomania, so all he needed was a baby vessel, and he had just the girl in mind.  Tia Aquino was a generic pretty young lady who was in a few of his classes at school.Screenshot-11652‘Wanna go out with me so I have a shot at owning all the fancy stuff in this house?’Screenshot-11674Tia accepted his proposition, partly out of pity, but mainly out of greed.Screenshot-11675‘This legacy is giving me a headache,’ rudley interrupted Devon.  In truth, he was feeling bitter that Maple had selected Cory over him and the realisation that he would never become a valued part of the Bailey legacy had become too much to bear.Screenshot-11668Thankfully for him, this generation was now finished, which meant it was unlikely he would ever be mentioned again, unless Basil is selected as the final heir, but that is totally up to the public!  This time the heir voting poll will be posted up once the university chapters have been posted up.
I’m on holiday between 5th October – 16th October, so the university chapters shall commence on my return 🙂  Much love.

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