A Bailey Legacy

Tis rather delicious

Archive for the tag “Alien”

Roly Poly (Part 1)

Roly Poly (Part 1)

I never particularly wanted to go off to University.Screenshot-11989My life ambitions were already pretty clear; become an awesome composer and make a fortune doing something I loved.Screenshot-11965When Orion, my alien half-brother, and my girlfriend, Niki, announced their plans to go off to Sim State University and study, I felt like I had no choice but to join them.Screenshot-11984Naturally, I was worried about Orion settling in. I thought he would get bullied, what with being half-alien and all.Screenshot-12049Turned out everyone loved him and his quirky sense of humour.  He soon became more popular than I ever would.Screenshot-12019Screenshot-12016Screenshot-12017Good for him, I thought.Screenshot-12018The weeks rolled by.  Niki became buried in her business degree.  She had plans to start her own online empire, just to prove she wasn’t just a pretty face.Screenshot-12142As for me, I spent most my time playing computer games.  Hell, I was doing a Fine Arts degree!  I didn’t think it required much effort.  Screenshot-12153One evening, after a pretty hefty gaming session, I caught two of my room mates, Bobby Butler and Clark Gant, having a sneaky smooch in the kitchen. Screenshot-12099‘About time you two got together,’ I said.  In truth, it was clear from day one that they had the hots for each other, which I personally found endearing.Screenshot-12098Unfortunately, not everyone shared the same views.  It was a shame that one of these people turned out to be my friend at the time, Elvis.Screenshot-12091Screenshot-12092‘I can’t believe those two queers,’ Elvis sneered as he dug into his dinner. ‘I’m still feeling queasy just thinking about them playing tonsil tennis.’Screenshot-12106At first I was shocked; a natural reaction to someone who you thought wasn’t a twat when it came to these things.  That’s why, to begin with, I thought, or rather hoped he was pulling a really tasteless joke.Screenshot-12105‘Relax, it’s not as if they were kissing you.’Screenshot-12108‘They might have well been; they were practically stood right next to me!’ His reply was reassurance that he was not joking around.  This was the real deal.Screenshot-12112‘I find it amusing that you’re so accepting of my brother, yet you can’t stand the sight of two men kissing,’ I explained, doing my best to keep a straight face.Screenshot-12110‘Being gay is a completely different matter,’ Elvis retorted, his voice sharp.  ‘It’s not as if your brother chose to be an alien.’Screenshot-12114By that point, I was done.  To refrain from throwing my plate into his face, I stood up.Screenshot-12115‘Come on, Rolo, you know it’s true,’ Elvis said, shoveling another mouthful of carbonara into his vile little mouth. ‘ You chose to be with Niki, didn’t you?’Screenshot-12109I didn’t answer him as, by that point, I had already walked away.  There was no point trying to convince him otherwise; he was too stuck in his ways.Screenshot-12117I apologised to Clark on Elvis’s behalf.  He had still been in the kitchen at the time of Elvis’s outburst.Screenshot-12229‘You have nothing to be sorry about!’ Was Clark’s response, horrified that I had felt the need to track him down in the science labs just to say what I felt was needed.Screenshot-12223‘No, I owe it to you. I associated myself with him.’Screenshot-12224‘And you ditched him as soon as you realised he was a dick,’ Clark said, before I could continue my speech.  ‘That’s good enough in my books.’Screenshot-12230I was glad that Clark didn’t seem all that fazed by what had happened in the kitchen. Still, it really pissed me off how narrow minded Elvis was.  The fact that he was the same age as me made it worse; I thought our generation had evolved past all that immature bullshit.  It also annoyed me that I had to compile a sketchbook for one of my degree units.  How was that meant to help me become a successful composer?Screenshot-12132I soon learnt the hard way that it wasn’t. Despite my confidence, I didn’t do as well as I anticipated when it came to exam time.Screenshot-12183As for Niki, well, naturally she smashed her exams.Screenshot-12185‘You need to buckle up and study harder next term,’ she lectured.  She never did want to be with a waster.  I doubt I would have even gone to Uni without her encouragement.Screenshot-12053Determined to do her and the Bailey name proud, I decided I couldn’t rely on the nature of my degree.  I had to go out there and earn it.Screenshot-12054

Chapter 8.5

Chapter 8.5 Dying for a sleepover

Despite being an alien, Orion managed to become the cutest child in the house.Screenshot-11014Twix debated whether or not to sell him out to the science facility for money. However, since his family were already millionaires, he decided against this.Screenshot-11016And thus, he decided to treat Orion like a Grandson and helped him prepare for University. Screenshot-11197Rolo, his true Grandson, did not have much of an interest in science or smart things, so there was no hope there.Screenshot-11091And his latest one, Basil, was still a lame baby.Screenshot-11168Whitney still had faith in Rolo, however.  She decided to influence him to be charismatic so he could talk his way through life.    Screenshot-11239Several uneventful months later, Basil started to develop some facial features. Fortunately for the family, he didn’t look a thing like Devon Hoff, and even possessed yellow eyes, so everyone just assumed he was Cory’s son.Screenshot-11216Whitney did not really care who the father was in truth; she was just glad he was not an alien.Screenshot-11219Rolo, who had gained the party animal trait at some stage in his short life, decided to throw a slumber party for his tenth birthday.Screenshot-11255This was mainly because he wanted an excuse to spend time with Niki Natalis, a cute girl who enjoyed karaoke almost as much as he did.Screenshot-11269That evening, they did a rather awesome rendition of “You’re the one that I want” from Grease, minus the leather clothing as that would have been slightly inappropriate.Screenshot-11264-look outWhilst his brother sung various other songs from musicals and the other children poked the bee hive in the back garden with sticks, Orion was content playing video games with Christie Rooney, the only child in school that did not tease or bully him for being an alien.Screenshot-11258‘We’ll be best friends forever, right?’ Orion asked.Screenshot-11262‘Yeah, whatever; now shut up, I’m one kill streak away from getting the attack dogs.’Screenshot-11261For some un-earthly reason, the children thought it would be a grand idea to sleep outdoors, despite it was the end of spring, and the weather was irrational.Screenshot-11277On this matter, Mika made her views very clear.Screenshot-11280‘You children suck!’Screenshot-11279In hindsight, it was probably a better idea than sleeping in the kitchen, like back in Chapter 7.7.  This meant that Twix could actually freely conjure up some grub, without getting trapped anywhere.Screenshot-10954‘Wait, what’s happening?’ Twix asked as the bread board started to glow.  It took him a few more seconds to realise that the glow was in fact coming from him and his fancy pajamas.Screenshot-10957‘So, this is what it’s like to die?  Nice.’ Screenshot-10961A few minutes later, the rest of the family, minus the children who were still asleep, all congregated in the kitchen as the old Grim Reaper appeared to claim Twix’s soul. Screenshot-10967‘I’m gonna be so lonely!’ Whitney sobbed.Screenshot-10969‘Err, actually, you’re entitled to remarry and what not,’ Grimmy said.Screenshot-10968‘Oh really?  Sweet!’Screenshot-10971Twix decided to do something a little bit crazy, figuring he had nothing left to lose being dead. and all.  He had been carrying a particular flower around with him for a while after it had randomly appeared in his inventory.

‘Please accept this as a token of my appreciation for all your hard work!’Screenshot-10975The room fell silent as the Grim Reaper stared at the flower, then at Twix, then back at the flower.  Maple winced, anticipating her Father to be whisked away into his platinum tombstone.Screenshot-10972‘O-M-G, Twix, this is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever given me,’ Grimmy confessed, his eye sockets welling up underneath his hood.  Meanwhile, Whitney fantasied about being wrapped in the arms of a muscular toyboy.Screenshot-10976‘Here, have your skin and stuff back.’Screenshot-10978Twix gasped in amazement as he returned to his former fleshy self.Screenshot-10979Twix was puzzled as to why Grimmy spared his life that day, for the sake of a flower, but soon enough he decided to just enjoy the additional time he had been given instead of fretting over something so trivial.Screenshot-10982As for the Grim Reaper, he thoroughly enjoyed the rest of his day, and found the most lovely vase to put his flower in.

 

 

 

Chapter 8.4

Chapter 8.4 Green Affairs

Life with the fridge people did not turn out as anticipated, so Whitney returned to reality and decided to focus on her own flesh and blood.Screenshot-10942This meant disposing of the things which did not fit this criteria.Screenshot-10988Screenshot-10991Fortunately, Tremayne booted up in time before he and Orion were recycled.  After that the two little misfits were inseparable.Screenshot-10951‘Enough of those misfits!  It’s Christmas, let’s partaaaay!’ Maple announced, ruining  the sentimental opening  to this chapter, and terrifying the poor blond guy standing in front of her.Screenshot-10912‘One of those misfits is my son,’ Sunnup said.  She had been invited to the party by Cory as he thought it would be a good idea for Orion to know that Maple was definitely not his mother, and also because Cory hoped he could participate in a bit of alien intercourse.Screenshot-10911Anyways, Maple had also invited a certain someone along to her party; Devon Hoff, the older brother of a guy she had dated during high school, and also one of her fellow work colleagues.Screenshot-10914This guy if you have to know (Morris Hoff).  Sadly he was married with children.Screenshot-10909Devon was not, thus making him a suitable man.
‘So, err, do you like stuff?’Screenshot-10936‘Devon, Maple is depressed with her current life and wants to bang you in attempt to feel better about herself,’ Almond translated.Screenshot-10937‘Erm, I’m not sure if I want that,’ Devon replied.Screenshot-10935‘It’s you or your brother, and in her current state she would definitely sink that low.’Screenshot-10939So, the following night, Maple ended up setting foot into Devon’s flat.Screenshot-10996‘You promise you won’t break up my brother’s family, right?’ Devon asked, body trembling in fear.Screenshot-11001‘As long as you promise to love me and take me away from my prison of a life!’ Maple chirped.Screenshot-10997‘Of course.’Screenshot-10998Spolier: He did not.Screenshot-11000A few months later, Cory was still being a doting father, despite circumstances had changed once more.Screenshot-11034Screenshot-11035Yes indeed, another little bundle of joy was on the way.Screenshot-11046Cory would have been thrilled, if it had not been for the fact he had not made woohoo with Maple for well over a year.Screenshot-11036Because of this, he had a small suspicion that this baby was not his.Screenshot-11038‘Ya think?’ Fudge sighed, before he continued to munch on the rotten food placed before him.Screenshot-11114Classy as ever.

Chapter 8.3

Chapter 8.3 Out of this world

As what happens often during a pregnancy, Maple went into labour.Screenshot-10835And off she waddled down the front path.Screenshot-10845‘Why are we letting her reproduce?’ Alice cried out, watching hopelessly as Maple drifted towards the edge of the road, where a car would materialise out of nowhere and take her directly to the hospital.Screenshot-10842Cory then let out a squeal, and not because he had heard rumours that the Spice Girls were getting back together.  His stomach and groin areas were glowing bright green!Screenshot-10847‘Okaaay,’ Maple said, ‘we’re just going to ignore that…’Screenshot-10848Soon enough, Maple strolled out of the hospital with a baby.  She named him Rolo since she did not intend to give him away.Screenshot-10856Maple tried to kid herself that life would not change, that sleep would not become a rare entity she would fight Cory to the death for.Screenshot-10859She knew it was a fight she would win.  It was no secret that Cory was getting pudgy: one too many waffles, or so everyone thought.Screenshot-10865He had also been out on a couple of dates during Maple’s pregnancy, although he could not fathom as to why his trousers had become tighter than usual since he often opted for a healthy autumn salad.Screenshot-10826One afternoon, after lunch, Cory felt peculiar.  At first, he assumed it was a bit of trapped wind, but after letting out a few, he felt no better, and Maple was not impressed.Screenshot-10885‘Yeah, something’s not quite right,’ Cory said.  It felt like his insides were being twisted inside out, and then were being draped around someone’s neck, like a feather boa.

Screenshot-10888‘I’m not cleaning up after you if you can’t make it to the bathroom in time,’ Maple stated.Screenshot-10887As it turned out, Cory was experiencing the joys of labour, and swiftly gave birth to a little green bundle of joy, wrapped up in a blue blanket.  Unfortunately the pictures of his birth were too explicit to be shown, but if you can imagine a whole load of icing exploding out from a piping bag, you are heading down the right tracks.Screenshot-10893Cory quickly pieced everything together.  The alien who had abducted him had made her intentions clear from the very beginning, although somehow he had forgotten about this small detail.Screenshot-10782‘Do you wanna have sex?’

Cory hesitated for a moment.  Sex with an alien; it could be risky, and he could easily catch some kind of incurable space disease and die, or worse.

‘Yeah, ok.’Screenshot-10783‘You player, you,’ he baby gurgled in a language that Cory could not understand… Alien.Screenshot-10892Then, he winked.Screenshot-10895After a few minutes of thinking, Cory decided to name his son Orion.  For some reason, Whitney found baby Orion more interesting than her Grandson, Rolo; it was a shame he would not be illegible to carry on the Bailey legacy name.Screenshot-10904‘Some could say he’s out of this world!‘ Whitney laughed after nattering to Fudge non-stop about how awesome Orion was.Screenshot-10799Screenshot-10801‘If this coffee wasn’t lukewarm and likely to do any damage, I would throw it in your face,’ Fudge replied.Screenshot-10802Screenshot-10803Whitney decided to try and seek  a new life of solace with the fridge people; perhaps they would laugh at her jokes?Screenshot-10798

 

 

 

 

Chapter 8.2

Chapter 8.2 Be careful what you wish for

Eventually, Pistachio decided to propose to Nicole.Screenshot-10664She rejected his offering.Screenshot-10665Pistachio struggled to hold back his despair, that was until Nicole stated what he had done wrong.Screenshot-10666‘I’m the man of this relationship; I’ll propose and you can wear the ring!’ Nicole firmly stated.Screenshot-10667And so, Pistachio gushed like a girl when Nicole dropped on one knee and presented the very same ring he had offered her.  It did not fit very well on his finger, and he was rushed to hospital to have it removed several hours later, but it was worth it.Screenshot-10674Sometime later, they moved out into a house nearby where they would carry on with their lives and occasionally be invited to Maple’s future parties.Screenshot-10686‘Sounds like good to me!’ Pistachio said, ignoring the fact Nicole was trying to strangle herself in the background of their idyllic life.  Screenshot-10688Back at the Bailey household, Cory was beginning to regret moving in with Maple, even if the rent was cheap.Screenshot-10652Despite they were not dating, it was only a matter of time before alcohol and desire got the better of them.Screenshot-10746‘You’re on the pill, right?’ Cory asked, realising where all this was heading.
‘Of course,’ Maple lied.Screenshot-10748A few weeks later, Maple discovered she was pregnant.Screenshot-10763She decided to announce this to both Twix and Cory over dinner.Screenshot-10691For some reason, Twix was furious at Cory, despite Maple was the manipulative one.  Even when she confessed this, Twix still blamed Cory.Screenshot-10693By this point, Chewie the dog had experienced enough drama and decided it was time to die.Screenshot-10722‘Come here you!’Screenshot-10727‘See ya!’ The Grim Reaper shouted as he tossed Chewie up into the portal.Screenshot-10737Screenshot-10738‘Now, to take care of other matters.’Screenshot-10739Screenshot-10741The Grim Reaper had been watching Tremayne for quite some time and was envious at the fact this robot seemed to have an eternal life span.  Even Grim Reapers eventually died, in fact, this particular Grim Reaper was the third incarnation since the Bailey Legacy had begun.  He wanted to defy the laws of nature, and made it his mission to do so by the time the Baileys reached their tenth generation.Screenshot-10744‘One day, I will claim you.’ Screenshot-10743Some while later, Maple’s pregnancy begun to show.Screenshot-10788Cory found any excuse to stay away from her and her pregnant hormones.
One night, out in the front garden, he gazed up at a suspicious aura of lights in the sky and quietly wished he could be struck by lightening, or even better, be abducted by aliens.Screenshot-10777 Screenshot-10778‘N-no, no!’ Screenshot-10779‘I was jooooookiiiiing!’Screenshot-10780Little did he know the consequences that would follow.Screenshot-10781

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