A Bailey Legacy

Tis rather delicious

Archive for the tag “Alice”

Chapter 8.3

Chapter 8.3 Out of this world

As what happens often during a pregnancy, Maple went into labour.Screenshot-10835And off she waddled down the front path.Screenshot-10845‘Why are we letting her reproduce?’ Alice cried out, watching hopelessly as Maple drifted towards the edge of the road, where a car would materialise out of nowhere and take her directly to the hospital.Screenshot-10842Cory then let out a squeal, and not because he had heard rumours that the Spice Girls were getting back together.  His stomach and groin areas were glowing bright green!Screenshot-10847‘Okaaay,’ Maple said, ‘we’re just going to ignore that…’Screenshot-10848Soon enough, Maple strolled out of the hospital with a baby.  She named him Rolo since she did not intend to give him away.Screenshot-10856Maple tried to kid herself that life would not change, that sleep would not become a rare entity she would fight Cory to the death for.Screenshot-10859She knew it was a fight she would win.  It was no secret that Cory was getting pudgy: one too many waffles, or so everyone thought.Screenshot-10865He had also been out on a couple of dates during Maple’s pregnancy, although he could not fathom as to why his trousers had become tighter than usual since he often opted for a healthy autumn salad.Screenshot-10826One afternoon, after lunch, Cory felt peculiar.  At first, he assumed it was a bit of trapped wind, but after letting out a few, he felt no better, and Maple was not impressed.Screenshot-10885‘Yeah, something’s not quite right,’ Cory said.  It felt like his insides were being twisted inside out, and then were being draped around someone’s neck, like a feather boa.

Screenshot-10888‘I’m not cleaning up after you if you can’t make it to the bathroom in time,’ Maple stated.Screenshot-10887As it turned out, Cory was experiencing the joys of labour, and swiftly gave birth to a little green bundle of joy, wrapped up in a blue blanket.  Unfortunately the pictures of his birth were too explicit to be shown, but if you can imagine a whole load of icing exploding out from a piping bag, you are heading down the right tracks.Screenshot-10893Cory quickly pieced everything together.  The alien who had abducted him had made her intentions clear from the very beginning, although somehow he had forgotten about this small detail.Screenshot-10782‘Do you wanna have sex?’

Cory hesitated for a moment.  Sex with an alien; it could be risky, and he could easily catch some kind of incurable space disease and die, or worse.

‘Yeah, ok.’Screenshot-10783‘You player, you,’ he baby gurgled in a language that Cory could not understand… Alien.Screenshot-10892Then, he winked.Screenshot-10895After a few minutes of thinking, Cory decided to name his son Orion.  For some reason, Whitney found baby Orion more interesting than her Grandson, Rolo; it was a shame he would not be illegible to carry on the Bailey legacy name.Screenshot-10904‘Some could say he’s out of this world!‘ Whitney laughed after nattering to Fudge non-stop about how awesome Orion was.Screenshot-10799Screenshot-10801‘If this coffee wasn’t lukewarm and likely to do any damage, I would throw it in your face,’ Fudge replied.Screenshot-10802Screenshot-10803Whitney decided to try and seek  a new life of solace with the fridge people; perhaps they would laugh at her jokes?Screenshot-10798

 

 

 

 

Chapter 8.1

Chapter 8.1 – Bored yet?

‘It feels like we’ve been waiting here for around a month,’ Tremayne said, his cold robotic eyes staring blankly ahead. ‘Still, I can’t believe we’ve reached the 8th generation.  I thought things would have started to get tedious by this point, or that I would have tried to drown myself in the ocean again.’Screenshot-10580‘Err, don’t forget that Maple’s fronting this generation,’ Alice replied, her ghost face heavily weighing the regret of ever having a child with Ricky Bailey, no matter how damn sexy he had become.Screenshot-10581‘Alright, time to give my garage rapping skills a go!  So Solid Crew, don’t fail me now!’Screenshot-10568‘Twenty-one seconds, tut, tut, tut!’  Screenshot-10569‘If anyone needs me, I’ll be at the beach.’Screenshot-10582Things weren’t all bad.  Honest.  Somehow, Twix and Whitney had a high relationship level and spent most their elder days flirting with one another; a disturbing sight, some might say, but otherwise cute.Screenshot-10577‘Darling, your hand feels like sandpaper against my face.’ Screenshot-10578Pistachio, the youngest of their children, had joined the military career soon after graduating from University.  Unfortunately, he had to start from level one as he found out the hard way that a degree in Physical Education is only beneficial for the Athletic career path.  This would be the last time he took advice from the ghost of Jameson Bailey.Screenshot-10576Almond, the eldest, was already level five or so in her business career.  At this point, her long term boyfriend, Gary, had been living at the Bailey household for a few years.  She suggested that it was time they moved out and started a life on their own.Screenshot-10556‘But we get free everything here!’ Gary whined.            Screenshot-10558Almond kissed him to shut him up.Screenshot-10557And also secretly bought a new house for them to live in.    Screenshot-10624‘Alight!  Now Nicole can move in and sponge of the family funds!’Screenshot-10560And so she did, and Maple did not approve at all.  She often complained about this to Nicole when Pistachio was not around.Screenshot-10570‘Those hot-dogs aren’t cheap either!’Screenshot-10571‘I can’t wait to boot you out, along with my annoying little bro… Oh hey, Pistachio!’Screenshot-10572‘Gee, is that the time?’   Maple said, looking at her watch-less wrist.  ‘I’d best be off to watch that So Solid Crew documentary!’Screenshot-10573Meanwhile, Gnome Bunny wondered if anything interesting was actually going to happen this chapter.Screenshot-10584Yes, was the answer.  Cory had recently moved into the neighbourhood, something to do with his career.  He decided to visit Maple one day, just to mess with her emotions.Screenshot-10585Screenshot-10587‘Play it cool, Mape.’   Screenshot-10588‘….’Screenshot-10590‘So, are you here so we can have children and get married?’Screenshot-10594‘Sure….’ Cory winced as he felt Maple breathe heavily against his neck.Screenshot-10595‘Well, this generation is going to interesting,’ Chewie, the last remaining dog in the Bailey household, said.Screenshot-10575And perhaps he was right.

 

 

Chapter 6.9

Chapter 6.9 All good, butter face

Hershey decided to grow up to be an adorable looking toddler.Screenshot-6822He was so adorable that it was necessary to show another picture of him in the exact same pose, only closer up and from a slightly different angle so everyone was aware of just how adorable he was.Screenshot-6820Cointreau was pleased that at least one of her children had inherited pretty much all her features and spent most her time with Hershey.Screenshot-6884Well, anytime that did not involve changing his nappy or trying to settle him down to sleep at night.  She left this task up to Tremayne.Screenshot-6818Twix, who was on the cusp of childhood, was aware that he was treated a little bit differently compared to his siblings.Screenshot-6816The family convinced him however that it was perfectly normal to spend all night sitting on the floor it you happened to have blonde hair.Screenshot-6817Also, they threw him a lovely birthday party, only to eat all the cake whilst he ran upstairs to change his hairstyle and clothes.Screenshot-6841Still, he transformed into a rather cute child.  It also turned out that his hair was drity-blonde, not bleach blonde, so it did not look ridiculous against his dusky skin tone.Screenshot-6850Aero decided that Twix was alright and started to treat him with a bit more respect, instead of mixing dog food with his Weetabix every morning.Screenshot-6857A couple of years later, Bounty celebrated the anticipated step into teenhood.Screenshot-6867Sadly, she grew up with a bit of a horse face.  Still, it was likely a man, or a horse, would still find her attractive enough to marry one day.Screenshot-6882Prom time quickly came around.Screenshot-6898Bounty scrubbed up well for a Butter Face.Screenshot-6891Aero decided to to don the same tuxedo his Great-great-great grandfather, Fudge, wore for prom.  However, Earl ridiculed him for being a copy-cat.Screenshot-6893Naturally this dampened his spirits and he spent all night with the following frown on his face, which somehow only amplified the amount of female attention he received, much to the dismay of his girlfriend, Adrianne.Screenshot-6894The reason behind Earl’s negative attitude towards Aero was a lot more complex.  Screenshot-6874He was still bitter about his failure of a love life, you see.  Tiffany and him had broken up a few years back, and to this day he was alone and single with no children to boast about.Screenshot-6871‘Luckily he wasn’t chosen to become the heir of this generation,’ Alice, the founder of this whole legacy, laughed.  She had not made an appearance in a while, so thought it was about time she closed off a chapter for us.  Thanks, Alice.Screenshot-6671

Post Navigation