Chapter 8.8 Nice day for a white wedding
Maple and Cory decided to throw a winter wedding in their backyard, just to be different. Being insanely rich, they were able to afford ice sculpted chairs and a cute DJ called Tom.To Maple’s annoyance, the paparazzi also made an appearance since she was a Z list celebrity in the media world. Fortunately, she had a way to deal with such inconveniences.
‘Hmm, that’s funny,’ Maple spoke out loud, ‘I don’t remembering hiring a chubby and persistently annoying photographer for the wedding.’‘Bitch’Soon, the official photographer turned up, just in the nick of time for the happy couple to exchange vows and what not.As it turned out, Maple was not very photogenic.Yet Cory was.For this reason, Maple favoured the long distant shots, and the ones where she was not gawping like a demented pitbull.During the ceremony, Pistachio was, perhaps, a little bit too emotional.No one, apart from his wife (Nicole), found it endearing.‘Now we’re married, I guess this means you’re gonna start nagging me more often now,’ Cory joked.
Maple stared him down into a deathly silence.He then quickly kissed her before she could ask for a divorce.‘Cake time!’ Maple enthused, and quite rightly so.Maple was quite happily about to dig into her scrumptious slice of wedding cake, until Devon Hoff made his way over to her table, balancing his own equally slice of awesomeness on his old arthritic hand.Maple did her best to ignore him as he stood there, but he soon enough spoke up.‘Room for one more?’ He asked, eyes hopeful.‘Give it time, she’ll come running back to me,’ Devon confidently said, five minutes later, sat at a completely different table.‘Sorry, old man,’ Almond asked, her mouth filled with delicious moist cake, ‘did you say something?’Meanwhile, since the DJ had decided to up and leave before the party was even over, the ever musically talented Rolo had taken over.‘I’m making musics!’Now, it was a common misconception that aliens unitentionally invented dub-step when they first attempted to make contact with humans. Naturally this was not the case, and as soon discovered, this type of “music” played at exceedingly high volumes was very damaging to an alien’s eardrums, and thus resulted in Orion passing out and almost freezing to death in the snow.Fortunately, Tremayne had come outside to show off his new lover: the hairdryer.‘Suppose I’d better do the just thing…’ Tremayne sighed, and proceeded to thaw Orion with Brenda the hairdryer.Minutes later, Orion had been defrosted. Tremayne cheered for joy, well, until Orion snatched the hairdryer out from his hand, tossed it into the pool and swore at Tremayne for burning his perfect alien complexion, before marching off.‘Why do I even bother?’ Tremayne sighed, then decided to head on inside for a piping hot shower.That night, several guests decided to stay over, and by stay over, I mean they basically decided to stand on the front porch and wet themselves because they had temporarily lost the ability to navigate themselves down a straight path and leave the property through an open gate. Pistachio was one of these people, which was why he was a bit stinky the following morning.
After breakfast, he approached Rolo, who was about to practice his mad skills on the DJ booth.‘Soon the time will come for Maple to pass the legacy down to someone, and personally, I think you’re best suited,’ Pistachio confessed. In all honesty, he did not entirely feel this way and just fancied witnessing a bit of drama between his nephews.
‘Couldn’t agree with you anymore, Unc,’ Rolo replied, finally glad that someone had recognised his great potential. ‘Basil may be a smart guy, but he does have a tendency to steal things at times; not particularly a positive role model for the next generation, right?’They continued to bitch about Basil until Rolo eventually noticed that his younger brother had in fact been standing right by them for the entirety of their private conversation, which made things a little bit awkward.Naturally, this gave Basil the incentive to prove he could be a just a worthy heir as Rolo could be. He already had some pretty good traits, minus his kleptomania, so all he needed was a baby vessel, and he had just the girl in mind. Tia Aquino was a generic pretty young lady who was in a few of his classes at school.‘Wanna go out with me so I have a shot at owning all the fancy stuff in this house?’Tia accepted his proposition, partly out of pity, but mainly out of greed.‘This legacy is giving me a headache,’ rudley interrupted Devon. In truth, he was feeling bitter that Maple had selected Cory over him and the realisation that he would never become a valued part of the Bailey legacy had become too much to bear.Thankfully for him, this generation was now finished, which meant it was unlikely he would ever be mentioned again, unless Basil is selected as the final heir, but that is totally up to the public! This time the heir voting poll will be posted up once the university chapters have been posted up.
I’m on holiday between 5th October – 16th October, so the university chapters shall commence on my return 🙂 Much love.