Chapter 1.3 -No, he’s not edible
Alice decided to throw a bachelorette party, despite having only two female friends.They reluctantly showed up, only because she told them that there would be a stripper.Because Alice wasted all her cash on hiring out the venue for her party, when it came to marrying Ricky, they had to make do with a private ceremony in the park. Apart from a tramp trying to steal Alice’s shoes, it was a lovely wedding. Alice was happy to steal Ricky’s surname too since she had never really liked hers. She vowed that the name would be passed along in future generations to come, even if she happened to have a baby girl.
Within a few weeks, Alice made a shocking discovery. Ricky had bought them a new toilet! Oh, and she was pregnant.‘How do you feel about having a baby?’ Alice piped up over breakfast the following day.The blank expression on Ricky’s face suggested that he did not share her enthusiasm.During her pregnancy, Alice continued to practice her mixology skills. Although she learnt the hard way that it was not a good idea to use lighter fluid to ignite a cocktail.Alice went into labor a couple of days after he due date, right in the middle of town. No one came to her aid, despite she was clearly in agony and had somehow spawned hands which rivaled those of E.T.
<—– (This is E.T, not Alice)
Alice gave birth to a baby. He was a boy, whom she named Fudge Caramel Bailey. Fudge loved the outdoors and was also a heavy sleeper, on the rare occasions when he did sleep.Despite showing little interest during Alice’s pregnancy, Ricky took an instant liking to his newborn son. Alice later found out that this was because Ricky thought Fudge was actually made of fudge, and thought he could eat one of his fingers whilst she was not looking. Luckily, she stopped him before this could happen.
With Ricky working longer and extra shifts to pay for the bills and necessary baby supplies, Alice relished the time she had to spend at home, teaching her son the basic, but important skills of life.Oh how she adored motherhood.